


Weekend of Mayhem

by lilith696, Lydia_Pickled_Herring



Category: Bandom, Burzum (Band), Darkthrone (Band), Emperor (Band), Lords of Chaos, Mayhem (Band), Real Person Fiction, Until the Light Takes Us (2008)
Genre: Almost All Are Gay, Black Metal, Complicated Relationships, Drama, Fictional Black Metal, First Time, M/M, Murder, Sex, Tedmas, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-25 07:15:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 49,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilith696/pseuds/lilith696, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lydia_Pickled_Herring/pseuds/Lydia_Pickled_Herring
Summary: When all these guys gather for a weekend at Mayhem's cabin, what could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -This was originally written in 2017, alternatingly between me and another author called Satania.  
> -English is our second language, any mistake you see is all ours.  
> -Comments and feedback are both needed and appreciated.  
> -Enjoy!
> 
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When all these guys gather for a weekend at Mayhem's cabin, what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((If you're re-reading this... HI! Finally got around to editing my parts.))
> 
> Og note before I hijacked the thing:
> 
> -This was originally written in 2017, alternatingly between me and another author called Satania. _(me, I'm Lydia Pickled Herring here)_  
>  -English is our second language, any mistake you see is all ours.  
> -Comments and feedback are both needed and appreciated.  
>  _(I mean, we can't threaten not to post the rest of the story the damn thing is already up in its entirety but still....)_  
>  -Enjoy!

**_Øystein's P.O.V:_ **

He angrily stomps up to me, wrapped up in a fleece, his eyes sunken deep into his skull.

“Tell them not to come.” He hisses before succumbing to a hard cough. It's only early-autumn, yet he's acting like it’s the dead of winter.  _Wuss._

I roll my eyes; I wish we hadn't even given him a notice, just let everyone show up and have Per deal with it.

“We can't do that, Varg's coming in from Bergen.” Although even if we could, like hell I would.

Per's expression darkens; he reaches out and scratches his nails against the rotting countertop.

“Call. It. Off.” His voice goes low and threatening.

“No.” I reply, looking Per dead in his beady eyes. He opens his mouth to shout at me, but luckily Jørn is there to save the day.

  
Jørn, his very bestest best friend, the only damn person he'll ever listen to; and he puts a hand on his shoulders.

“Hey, calm down, it's cool. You don't have to talk to any of them.”

“I don't mind Bård or Fenriz, they're alright, but I hate Varg. I don't want Varg coming over.” He says Varg's name like it tastes sour; meanwhile, Jørn leads him to the couch and starts fixing him up a cup of coffee.

Like he even needs the fucking caffeine...

“He'll only be here for a day or two, Pelle, it's good if Øystein does this; it's for the record label you know?” 

Per pouts, though he's calmed down a little: “Will Brit come over?”

Jesus, it's like he's a fucking _kid._

“Brit’s up in Stjørdal.” Jørn shakes his head. Brit is his girlfriend, she's pregnant and along with Jørn, she forms Per's surrogate parents.

“Will she be going to Hell?” Per asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Swedes love coffee, don't they?

“No.” Jørn chuckled as Per cuddled deeper up in his blanket.

“Pity, I was hoping I would be able to take the bus so I could finally tell people that I have been to Hell.”

Smart, isn't he?

“Go to hell!” I interject from the kitchen, laughing as Jørn glares at me.

“I will, soon.” Per murmurs, dead serious.

I shake my head and brew my own cup of coffee. Looking at the wall clock, it's almost four in the morning, making me wonder why the hell we're drinking it in the first place, especially since clearly none of us can sleep.

Hey, to be honest, if it _were_ up to me, I would've called off the entire thing too. My heart isn't really into it; but Varg already called me to tell me that he, Bård and the rest of the Brady Bunch were waiting for the train and Gylve sounded _so_ damn pumped about it.

I can't put my life on hold just because stupid Per had some stupid problems. It just doesn't work like that, no matter how bad he wants it to.

A look over my shoulder and I can see that he's fallen asleep like that, cup of coffee still in his skinny hand.

“Leave him alone, he needs to rest.” Jørn grumbles as I walk over to pick him up.

“Let's get him in his bed first.” I scoff, already pulling him over my shoulders. The last thing I need is Per destroying our already sub-par living conditions with his nightmares.

He whines as I tuck him in his bed, fingers reaching over to grasp the ends of his pillow.

I stand there, watching him doze off in peace.

“Didn't wake up, did he?” Jørn suddenly asks from the doorway, snapping me out of my trance.

“Nah.. Slept like the Dead, you can say.” I answer, snickering at my own joke.

Jørn puffs air out of his lips and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Let's get to bed man, Gylve’s picking the guys up at eight.”

I nod, sneaking one last glance at Per, who has drool running down his chin.

I wonder what he's thinking of...

It puts me at ease to see him so peaceful, but I don't know why. I shake my head and push that weird thought out of my head, cos tomorrow is going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I will very slowly post this in case I saw that there isn't anyone willing to read it.
> 
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

The day for going to Oslo is finally here and I’m super excited yet somewhat nervous. I had woken up with a knot in my stomach, which seemed to intensify the closer we get to our intended destination.

I had called Øystein when we were waiting for the train to inform him of our journey to Mayhem’s quarters. 

He didn’t sound too happy on the phone but then again this was typical Øystein we’re talking about. I was glad at the aspect of hearing his voice though and that by itself is enough to make my insides tremble.

“Dude, are you even listening?” Bård waves a hand in my face and my stupor is broken.

“Huh?”

“Geez, we’ve been talking for an hour and you didn’t catch any of it? What the hell is on your mind?” Bård asks me and I just glare at him.

“Fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Chill, man.” He raises his hands in a defensive pose with a frown on his face, but I guess he thought that it is wiser to just leave me be and went back to the ongoing conversation, which I immediately block.

The noise is just a background chatter to my wandering thoughts. 

I watch the miles roll off the window while thinking about Øystein and how our meeting will take place. We’re gonna be at a close proximity for the next few days and my heart flips at the thought.

I had long admired the man and I believe I’m slowly developing a crush on him. I don’t know if he’ll ever acknowledge me that way but I certainly hope so.

This weekend is my chance to prove my status and claim my place. I will try to get him to notice me and by any luck, I’ll hook him up.

I hope my goals aren’t too far-fetched to be pursued. I think I’ll be able to assess things better when we actually get there but what if he completely rejects me and makes a fool out of me in front of everyone? I can’t help but think about the downsides of these goddamned feelings.

My head and my heart are conflicted. The rational side is telling me to smother it before it grows but the emotional side is longing to explore this adventure. I believe my emotional side is winning although I’m a rational dude but what do you know, right? I was never a quitter anyway.

I check my watch for the millionth time this morning. We are to arrive in a short time and my stomach clenches so tightly I have to wrap my arms around it. I must have made a sound because suddenly all the guys are silent and staring at me.

“Are you okay?” Bård asks with a concerned look.

“Yes, don’t worry. I’m fine.”

He nods but everybody remain silent watching me, which makes me even more nervous. I can’t wait to get off the train. I feel suffocated under their scrunching gazes.

“I’m fine, I swear!” I snap and they just shrug at me. The atmosphere returning to normal.

I don’t know how the last half an hour had passed but we are finally in Oslo.

“Varg, it’s good to see you!” Gylve trades over to me and gives me a friendly hug.

“Gylve, good to see you too man.”

He smiles and goes on greeting the others. He is going to drive us to the house.

We pile up into the car and drive to the house where the guys are staying.

I shake with incredible nerves as Jørn greets us at the door and a small commotion begins. 

Well, this isn’t weird when you have a bunch of guys all speaking at the same time.

The tight fist in my gut twists as I walk inside and there he is, perfect in all of his dark glory.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Happy Birthday Varg!!
> 
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~ Øystein’s P.O.V:~~

When I turn around I see a flash of colour before something crashed hard into me, almost knocking me off of my feet.

"Holy shit Bård!" I hiss, struggling before I realize it's just him. Just over-excited, puppy-like Bård.

I relent, patting him awkwardly on the back.

He's gotten pretty tall, but then again nearly everyone is taller than me..except Jørn maybe, but Jørn is a genetic abnormality.

"Can't! Breathe!" I whine. His arms are wrapped tight around me as he practically squeals.

He's sprouted two inches since I last saw him. It's so fucking unfair, I'm stuck here at 5,5 but this runt is already breaking 6 foot! Fuck this shit!

"It's so good to see you man! Especially after what happened..." Bård says, his voice softening at the last part.

"Yeah..yeah, it's good to see you to but seriously-"

"Hmpht...!" Per snorts from behind us, he's been awake for five minutes now and he's already found what to fucking complain about!

I turn around to glare at him; he has this impatient look on his face and he's wearing an awful red sweater he borrowed from Jan, it's so huge it's falling off of his shoulders. He looks even skinnier then he already is.

"Pelle!" Bård cries out excitedly, pushing me aside and throwing himself at Per who freezes up for a moment before sighing and holding him tight.

"Hello, Bård," Per murmurs into his shoulder, "your hair has grown."

"Thank you!" 

 

I roll my eyes and walk off to greet Vegard and Tomas. Ted has already been here for an hour now and I'm still waiting on Jon.

Finally, I spot Varg, off in the corner and leaning up against the doorframe with his arms crossed; it takes me a few seconds before I realize that he was already staring at me but I brush it off, raising my hand to give him a little salute.

"Hey." 

"Wassup Øystein." He hums, looking away from me.

"I should be asking you that, how'd Old Funeral take the news?" I chuckle, remembering his passionate resolve to ditch his old band.

"'Fuck if I know, I just walked out." Varg snorts, brushing his hair out of his face.

It makes me smile; Varg is your stereotypical pretty boy: tall, muscular, nice blue eyes, but yet he's a total raging asshole for some unknown reason.

I like people like that, so bitter for no fucking reason; they're always fun to watch.

Gylve comes up behind him.

"Varg, I have something to show you." He puts a hand on his arm.

"Can't it wait?" Varg asks, glaring at him. Jesus Christ! Aren't they supposed to be good friends?

"Er...no, sorry" Gylve laughs awkwardly, dropping his hand.

He sighs before saying "Alright, fine." and follows him out.

I notice him looking back at me and I raise my eyebrows as if to say: "What?" Do I have something on my face or..?

Back on the couch, Bård's still clinging onto Per, who's clinging off on Jørn.

Yeah, Yeah after 'The Incident' I get why everyone's oh-so worried about the guy but this is unnecessary and frankly really gay.

I snorted as I saw Vegard leaning down to Bård, for once his curly hair isn't tied back. 

Bård swats his curls out of the way, looking pissed off at whatever Vegard is telling him.

He makes this awful expression before standing up and storming off, eliciting a mild reaction to Per, who turns to Jørn probably to tell him to check it out later.

Man...that guy has no balls. It's pretty funny when you're the onlooker.

Seeing all of these little dilemmas playing out, I swear, I've gotta be part of a John Hughes movie or something.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.OV:~~

I settle in a corner quietly, watching how things were taking place. A part of me wants to walk up to Bård and pull him away by force from Øystein but I have to keep my cool.

Per is there as well and he kind of just ignores me so I do the same. We never really got along and it’d be better if we keep our distance. It is a sad affair that the guy had tried to kill himself but there was nothing that I could do and frankly I don’t really care enough.

I observe Øystein’s every move as he greets both Vegard and Tomas. Then he looks straight at me and my heart flips as it lingers for a moment. He waves at me then comes closer. I have to play cool and act normal.

“Hey.”

“Wassup, Øystein?” I hum and look away somewhat afraid that he’ll be able to see right through me.

We talk a little about my old band, which I couldn’t care less about, but any conversation with Øystein is a good one so the topic doesn’t really matter. I act like my typical self and hope that I am not showing anything.

“Varg, I have something to show you.” Gylve interrupts our conversation as he lays a hand upon my arm.

“Can’t it wait?” I glare at him pissed at the sudden interruption. Gylve is a friend but now seriously isn’t the right time.

“Er..no, sorry.” Gylve says and removes his arm. 

I glance over to Øystein who is looking at me strangely. Can this get any more awkward? I sigh deeply.

“Alright, fine.” 

Gylve leads the way outside and I follow him, wondering what was so important for him to snatch me away like this. 

“Well, what is it?” I ask impatiently.

“It’s in my car.” He says and walks to his car. He gets a big frame out from the trunk. “I kind of made this with picture of all of us so we’d hang it up for memory.”

I can’t believe he got me out for this stupidity but I go along with it because he seems rather cheerful. I survey the many different pictures and my eyes linger on a one with Øystein and me together.

“I was thinking that we’d all sign it then hang it up. It’d be something to remember our friendship with.” Gylve smiles and produces a sharpie from somewhere. “I wanted you to be the first to see and sign it.” 

I stare at him for a moment a bit caught off guard. I mean we are good friends but I didn’t expect that he’d think of me first for something like this.

I sigh and take the sharpie from him, looking over some of the other photos where I can find myself. Of course, I sign on the picture of Øystein and me. Adding our initials ‘ØV’ below it for some reason. Maybe it isn’t the brightest idea because Gylve gives me a strange look but it is already done so everybody must deal with it now.

“Did you like our picture?” Gylve says and I look up at him confused.

“Where is it?”

“Right there.” He points me to it.

“Oh! Yeah, nice.” I say then turn around to go back inside. I can hardly waste another minute away from Øystein.

I am stopped by a hand on my shoulder though and have to turn back around to look at Gylve who has a sad expression upon his face.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” He smiles at me warmly. I can’t not return it.

I don’t understand why Gylve is acting weird but I guess he holds a special spot for me or something and is always looking out for me when stuff get complicated. I push the matter to the back of my head and finally manage to go back inside.

Øystein is sitting on the couch along with Per and Bård who are all listening to something that Vegard is rambling about.

I notice Gylve walking back inside empty handed and wonder why he didn’t bring the picture frame about. I also notice how his glaring gaze is directed towards the couch. I glance over there and Øystein is frowning back at Gylve.

Well, this is just plain weird. Gylve is acting out of character and I don’t know why exactly. Could it be because I signed over my picture with Øystein instead of his and mine? But that seems rather childish for Gylve to throw a fit about.

I shrug the matter over as both guys seem to stare each other down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the silent readers: It takes a minute to leave a comment and make me happy. The silence discourages the sharing. So please do leave your thoughts behind.
> 
>  
> 
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~ Øystein’s P.OV:~~

It's pretty hard to miss the giant cloud of doom and gloom that hangs over Gylve as soon as he entered back inside our cabin; Varg follows him looking like he was about to crap himself, and I don't blame him.

Meanwhile, Vegard is complaining about something Bård did, after Per did the unexpected and actually went after the guy.

Is this couples therapy or something? I never got why these two just didn't get along, I guess it has something to do with Tomas spending more time with Bård instead of Vegard, but looking at him now, he is in the kitchen drinking with Jon, so Vegard should hate Jon too.

Frankly, I think Vegard's just being a huge baby about it.

"Just fuck off and leave me alone already!" Bård finally shouts at him "I don't know why you hang around me so much if all you do is fucking criticize me!"

I think if they weren't two dudes they'd probably be married with children by now.

I shake my head, noticing Gylve's glare targeted at me.

Oh no.

Not this again.

Being that me and Gylve have been friends since '88, we've already developed a complex and nuanced expression system and when he gave me *that* look it was code for 'Jump Ship and Come With Me'.

This was about Varg, wasn't it? 

Of course it was.

"I'll be back." I said to no one in particular since the lot of them were already launched in another argument over how lazy Bård is and how much a control freak Vegard is.

If this is about what I think it is, I sure as hell hope he knows how fucking obvious he looks at Varg.

"The guy's a homophobe and you know it Gylve!" I trail behind him, following him out into the forest.

"Can it 'Stein!" Gylve hisses, if he wanted to be so secretive about it, I think he could've done a better job than giving me the death stare from across the room and leading me out into the taiga.

"You did it, didn't you?" I sigh as finally he stops, slumping down on a hacked off tree trunk.

"Told him how I felt? Hell no, but I might as well have."

"What did he do? Call you a faggot and threaten to gas you?" I snorted, maybe this isn't the best time for humor since Gylve looks like he's about to break down, but I'm really not good with people even if they're my friends.

"He might as well have." He echoed, looking up at me with those big frightened eyes; I relent, I might as well try to be a decent human being. 

I sit down on the damp earth. I have absolutely no experience with this gay stuff, but for Gylve, I’ll try.

"What happened?" I ask softly, and he sighs, his shoulders dropping in the way that lets you know he’s feeling absolutely destroyed.

"I....I- shit. I have no idea, have you noticed the way he fucking looks at you?" Gylve stuttered "At all? Have you noticed the way he glared at Bård when he hugged you?-"

"-Bård did not hug me, he attacked me." I snorted "How do you know he wasn't glaring at Per, they don't really get along that well."

He ignored me: "Jesus Christ, I was going to keep it a secret, but I've been working on this collage of all of us, I made a frame and everything and-"

"That's so cheesy, Gylve." I smile at him, it really is but the idea that he cares so much about all of us is kind of heart-warming, I think most of us aren't used to being cared about.

"-I get the gist though, you showed him first and he didn't react well."

"He only wanted to look at the one of you, 'Stein, what does that say to you?" Gylve hisses at me; I roll my eyes at him:

"He's been in a piss-poor mood all day."

"I want him to look at me the way he looks at you." He told me, his voice containing an ounce of desperation.

What was he trying to tell me? That Varg had some kind of crush on me? Well tough shit for him because I'm not gay.

"The last time we had a major fight he went around telling people he found a shit-covered dildo in my bedroom drawer," I laugh hollowly "does that sound like love to you?"

"I want him to look at me the way he looks at you." He repeated. 

"Gylve..I'm pretty sure he admires me at most, don't be like this; look, if he doesn't appreciate you for you then gay or not he doesn't deserve you, period." 

He crosses his arms and lets out an exhale: "I'm sorry if I'm being a dick to y-"

"You're not." I wave dismissively

"Ha.. okay, I'm going to go take a walk along the stream, if anyone asks tell them I'm looking for something in my car."

"I will" I say softly, watching him as he stands up and stretches, ruffling my hair before he disappears deeper into the woods.

I shake my head and reach into my pocket for my pack of menthols. I don't usually make a habit of smoking, but a friend gave them to me for my twenty sixth and they're supposed to be high quality.

"I'd tell you he's wrong, but I don't think he is." A voice behind me hummed. I didn't even have to look back to confirm who it is. It's so grating to my ears that just hearing it is all the image I need.

"I didn't ask you." I hiss at Per, who I can hear slowly walk towards me.

"When have I claimed you did?"

"When you butted into problems that weren't yours." I can see his ratty Adidas in my peripheral. 

"Gylve is my friend, if he's upset then it concerns me." Per said.

"He's fine." 

"I heard everything. I'm very quiet you know-"

"-creep!" I snap, my temper is lower than usual.

"Anyhow..I came to tell you that there was an altercation, things didn't go very well and Bård punched Vegard in the jaw, Vegard retaliated, and now Bård’s nose has been reduced to...well.... you should see for yourself." 

My mind practically stops at the words "Vegard" "Bård" "Punch" "Jaw" and the possibility that Bård no longer has a nose.

I shot up, turning around to face Per who looks uncomfortably calm for someone who apparently just witnessed a confrontation.

"I should mention to you that Varg wasn't there when it happened so he either, like me, followed you to see what was going on or he's locked himself in the bathroom to sob like a pansy." He deadpans.

Huh..well..this can't be good, surely we would've heard Varg if he was approaching, and surely Per would've seen him if anything.. I rock back on my heels, letting out a stream of smoke.

"Anymore bad news to tell me, Perra?" I bite out, knowing how much he hates the nickname. He's already won though, giving me a toothy grin so unlike his as he says:

"Yes, it's only been an hour and we're already out of beer."

Shit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I am shocked when Øystein gets up and goes outside with Gylve and my mind wanders at what the hell they are going to do? Can it be that Gylve is so upset that he needs to face Øystein about it? I sure as hell hope not because he’ll blow my cover and that’s the last thing I need.

Voices start to rise as Bård and Vegard go into yet another discussion. I make sure that everyone is busy and make it out unnoticed to go after the other two. I can spot them out in the forest and draw a tactical approach so they won’t notice me.

"-I get the gist though, you showed him first and he didn't react well.” I hear Øystein say and I realize they are in fact, speaking about me!

"He only wants to look at the one of you, 'Stein, what does that say to you?" Gylve says and I almost gasp aloud. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did he have to go about and say it this way now Øystein will laugh at me.

“He’s been in a piss-poor mood all day.” Øystein says from where he’s sitting on the ground.

My heart is beating so fast, my insides lurch violently, and I find myself running back to the cabin. I barely glance at anyone as I make my way hurriedly to the bathroom and lock the door fast.

I drop to my knees and clutch at the toilet bowl as I throw up the little I have in my stomach. Tears trickle down my face and I dry heave a couple of times. It is painful and I settle against the wall, trying to muffle my sobs and heaves. It was like all the pressure and nerves that I have been carrying started to leave me. 

There is a commotion outside but I couldn’t care less at the moment. I hope Øystein and Gylve didn’t hear me when I took off. 

How could I be this stupid to ever think that a guy like Øystein would ever consider me more than a friend or maybe even a little brother. Gylve made a fool out of me in front of him and all of this was just a big great fucking mess!

I should just forget it. I need to stop being like this. I am confident and smart and I should act like it. It’s enough locking myself up in bathrooms and crying like a wimp. I get up, flush the toilet, wash my face and drink some water then I get out.

The guys were all shouting at each other forming a circle around some one which I see is Bård when I walk closer to them. He is on the couch with his head reclined and a hand covering his bleeding nose.

“Fuck! This was my fault. I should take him to the doctor.” Vegard says but Bård whines.

“I’m not going with him.” He is obviously angry despite the pain he must be feeling.

“Fuck you, Vegard! You’re not taking him anywhere.” Øystein shouts rather pissed and I look up at him but then look away when he glances at me.

“How about I take you, eh?” Tomas offeres and Bård hums in agreement. “Where the fuck is Gylve though? We need the car keys.” 

I look around and can’t spot Gylve anywhere. I wonder what might have happened after I left.

“I’ll go get him. He must be outside.” Ted says and goes out of the cabin.

I can’t get myself to say anything and no one paid me attention which is better at the moment because I know I’ll be a complete ass to anyone who’d try to talk to me.

“Damn it Bård, are you alright?” Gylve asks as he walks hurriedly inside.

“Not so much.” Bård says obviously in pain.

“Ted filled me in, here.” Gylve hands the car keys to Tomas.

“Wait! Me and Varg are coming along.” Øystein says and I snap my head up to look at him in shock. I notice how both Gylve and Per give him a confused look. “We’re out of beer.”

I’m not quite sure why he picked me for the task but I had a feeling that it concerned that earlier event. Shit! Maybe I should refuse but then I’ll only appear like a coward and I am anything but.

“Alright.” It doesn’t sound as confident as I wanted it to be but oh well.

Øystein smirks and I wonder again if I should not go but I already got myself into it so fuck it.

I climb in the passenger seat while Øystein and Bård end up in the back seat. The drive was silent except for a few pained moans from Bård.

“Drop us here and continue.” Øystein says to Tomas who nods his head.

“Will you be catching up with us or what?” Tomas asks.

“We’ll see.” Øystein says. “Move it, Varg.”

I get out of the car and head in the general direction of the few shops that are around.

“Hey!” Øystein stops me.

“Aren’t we supposed to be getting beer?” I ask still hoping that this whole thing is only about the stupid beer.

“We will. I wanna speak to you about something first.” He says with a serious expression and I curse mentally.

“Shoot.” 

“Why the fuck are you treating Gylve like trash?’” 

“What are you talking about?” I try to sound as dumb as I can.

“These bullshit moves don’t work on me, Varg. Leave them to the other kids.” He hisses but I keep my act.

“I literally have no idea what you mean.”

He huffs getting more pissed.

“He doesn’t deserve this shitty treatment from you.”

“But I didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly my point shit head! You know he likes you and just because you’re a homophobe doesn’t give you the right to be a dick to him.” He spits and I gasp.

“First of all, I’m not a homophobe; second of all, he’s my best friend! I noticed he’d been acting weird lately but I don’t believe he likes me that way!” I defend myself seriously shocked. I don’t dwell too much on Gylve’s actions or words. I thought it was a friendly jealousy type of thing not the one with the feelings.

“Seriously? Like what are you blind? The guy couldn’t be more obvious unless he wears a badge with your name on it. I have no idea where’s your head most of the times.”

“I seriously didn’t know and I’m sorry he feels that way. I only consider him a good friend and I like someone else anyway.” I cross my arms over my chest and his expression turns grim.

“Let’s just get the fucking beer.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

It's a long and awkward walk back to our cabin; when we finally get there I stop in front of Varg.

"You aren't telling Gylve that you know." I say lowly, making sure I sound threatening.

"And why not?" He scoffs his cheeks still red.

"Because he's a person with fucking feelings, and he's already hurt, you don't need to twist the knife further." I mentally slap myself for sounding so sappy, but it's the fucking truth. Not everyone has the fucking benefit of being an emotionless psychopath like Varg does.

He opens his mouth, presumably to object; I cut him off:

"Name your price."

He lets out a breathy laugh, looking at me with his eyes bulging; he seems like he's about to ask something of me before he just shakes his head:

"Nothing, I never wanted to hurt him."

"Then don't." I snap, opening the front door.

"We bought more beer." I announce to no one in particular.

Vegard is curled up on the paisley armchair, clutching his jaw, I saw Jon talk away on the phone; Jan, Jørn, Ted, and Gylve are nowhere to be seen but one of them is taking a shower because I hear the water running. Per walks over to take one of the crates away from me, giving an apprehensive look; I nod at him, feeling absolutely spent.

"Vegard." I tug on one of his stray curls as I sit on the couch parallel to him.

"What?" He mumbles, eyes still downcast 

"I'm sorry about lashing out at you earlier." I say 

"Oh..." Vegard says sarcastically 

"Look, I know he threw the first punch, but you might've just broken his nose."

"Don't remind me." he said quietly, the entire lower part of his jaw was turning purple.

I had to give it to Bård there, for someone so skinny he really does pack a punch.

"What happened anyway?" I ask, taking a swig of my beer as Vegard rolls his eyes at me:

"It was stupid."

"Obviously!" 

He glares at me before continuing:

"I said something that got him really pissed; he punched me, I punched back."

"You have a bright career as a novelist ahead of you Vegard, great job." I deadpan.

He looks at me angrily:

"What else do you want me to tell you?!"

"What you actually said? why the fuck would you hit him hard enough to break his nose?"

"I threatened not to pay him for skipping out on practice last Tuesday; as to why I hit him that hard? well maybe because I wanted to *finally* hear his bones crunch from underneath my fist!" He practically shouts, getting up out of his seat.

I lean back, sighing:

"Does this maybe have something to do with how chummy Bård and Tomas are?"

This is surprising to me, Vegard's the type of guy with almost impeccable self control; damn...I don't want to know what's going in his mind.

"If you're asking me whether or not I'm pissed off that he hangs around him so much then fuck yeah I am! Tomas has been my best friend for ages! Do you really think I want them to go off church-burning and forgetting about me?!"

"You could just join us!" Varg pipes up from the kitchen; I'm about to tell him to fuck off when Vegard cuts him off anyway:

"No, I won't! It's retarded and it's pointless, you're going to get yourselves arrested one of these days!" 

"Then don't complain when you're left out of it." Varg hisses, slamming the beer bottle down.

Damn this kid is getting on my nerves today!

"Shut the fuck up Varg! Vegard's completely right, one of these days we're all going to end up on the news and it'll be your faults!"

It quiets Varg down long enough for Jon to come back into the room with a bored expression:

"Okay, so Tomas just called; yes Bård's nose is fractured, yes Bård's crying like a baby, but guess what? He'll survive."

"Thank shit.." Vegard mumbles, slumping back down on the chair, pushing his hair back as Jon sighs and puts his hands on his hips:

"You know what? Everyone else might be pissed at you, but I say good job, he punched you first and I never thought I'd live to see the day where Vegard Tveitan, Peaceful Satanist actually got handsy, gold fucking star mate, should I write an article about it in Slayer?"

"Do that and you'll be next." He mutters and I roll my eyes:

"So he's alive?"

"Yeah he's fine, but like I said, he's crying like a baby, but hey he'll be back later, maybe a little drugged but..eh" Jon says jutting his head towards Vegard who's shoulders fall.

I pat his head "See? All is well, he'll get over it; like Jon just said he punched you first." and walk off because I'm unable to take another minute of their bullshit drama.

Sitting against the house, I lean my head on the wall and close my eyes; it's all so annoying to me and I wish I cared less then I actually do.

I don't really think it's Bård's fault that he and Vegard don't get along, even if I think that in hindsight, the fact that he punched Vegard first is really shitty of him. 

Vegard's hated him since day one. I still remember it clearly, Emperor needed a new drummer so I introduced them to Bård because I knew how much he liked their other bands and how good of a drummer he was. Tomas seemed excited while Vegard glared at him from across the room the entire fucking time, I kept thinking of what a piece of shit he was for it because of how much Bård obviously admired the guy...

"Penny for your thoughts?" Per says softly from behind me. I sigh:

"What do you want from me, Perra?"

"I made you some hot cocoa, don't worry, I didn't spike it" He chuckles.

The sun blurs in my eyes as I smack my dry lips together, holding out my hand. I feel the hot cup hit my nerve endings; I breathe in the relaxing smell.

Per sits down cross-legged in front of me, his sweater still hanging off his skeletal shoulders:

"You know...you're a nice man when you want to be."

"That back there wasn't me being nice." I retort snarkily; he tilts his head and laughs, the setting sun hanging off his hair.

"You could've told him to fuck off, it's no secret that you're all better friends with Bård then you are with Vegard."

"We don't really know him that well." I shrug, taking a sip and closing my eyes blissfully at the taste. Damn.. he makes good hot cocoa..

"He's the quiet kind, isn't he?" Per smiles fondly

"Guess so, you're in an awfully good mood, aren't you?" I say suspiciously. The only thing worse than Per in a bad mood is Per in a good mood...

"I can be in a good mood sometimes too-"

"-show me your fucking wrists, right now!" I hiss at him. 

My heart beating hard against my ribcage, he looks surprised for a moment as I almost shout out:

"Now!"

Putting his own mug down on the grass, my head goes woozy from the adrenaline as he pulls down the sleeves, almost in slow motion to me.

Blinking fast as all I'm met with is clean skin and the closed slits; bile catches in my throat.

I realize there's nothing there.

He lets his arms drop, raising an eyebrow "Happy?"

My jaw drops, I must look fucking crazy... He sits back down next to me, taking a loud sip as I let embarrassment submerge me.

"Last time you were that cheerful y-you..."

"-that was a while ago, Øystein." He puts a hand on my shoulder and for once I let him keep it there, leaning slightly against him as I breathe in the dirty, musky smell that radiates from him.

"You're kind-hearted when you want to be." He reiterates gently, I feel his soft blonde hair tickle against my skin.

Somehow, I really doubt that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s POV:~~

I am pissed at both Øystein and Vegard for talking like that about the church burnings. They don’t understand that there’s a greater motive than fun and games for this. I am trying to bring change to the society but as always, my views are never received well even amongst the most deranged. 

I cradle my beer bottle and walk off then suddenly the bathroom door opens and Gylve emerges all wet with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I can’t help but stare at him. Damn he’s hot! 

“Umm.. hey.” His voice reaches me like from another dimension and I slap myself mentally. What the fuck am I thinking?

“Hey, yourself.” I smile at him. I think that I should in fact treat him better.

There is a few moments of awkward silence where we just perceive each other.

“So, I see you got the beer.” He breaks the silence and I laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, we did. By the way, Bård’s nose turned out to be fractured but he’ll be fine.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” He says and the silence returns. “So, umm, I’m just gonna..” He gestures towards the room and I shift my weight to the other leg.

“Yeah, yeah! Go ahead.” I nod and he smiles and disappears into the room.

Damn, that was so awkward. This is the first time I notice how attractive Gylve is. I never thought about him that way and I shouldn’t. We’re just friends, right? Ah, but what the hell, he finds me attractive as well.

I probably shouldn’t walk down this path. It will only complicate things further. I don’t really need another thing to add to the mess that’s already growing in my head.

Fuck! I only just realized that I’ve been standing in the same spot staring at the closed door of the room where Gylve was.

I walk back into the living room and settle on the couch. Vegard is already here, looking like shit.

“You should probably put some ice over that.” I refer to the bruise along his jaw.

“Whatever.” He says and I shrug, I can’t care less anyway.

Jørn, Jon and Ted are gathered in the kitchen talking about something but I am not really curious to know what. 

Gylve comes back, fully clothed but he kind of avoids me and strolls to kitchen to join the other three instead. What the fuck? Why does it upset me? I shouldn’t really care but it kinda bugs me that he chose to sit with them instead of me. This is seriously going to be a long weekend; things are already messed up as is.

A headache starts to present itself against the walls of my skull. Well, this is what beer does to you on an empty stomach and fucked up thoughts. I recline my head back and close my eyes to will it away. Soon, I am enveloped with darkness, the ache thudding dully in the back of my mind.

~~Gylve’s POV:~~

I pay half an ear to the conversation around me as my mind wanders over this fucked up crush of mine. I knew I had a thing for Varg ever since I met him. He is a special guy and my feelings for him only grew with time. It kinda sucks that he’s crushing on my friend while I’ve been doing my best to get his attention.

Gods, I hate myself! I wish I were able to just not care but my pull towards him is addictive. I miss him when he’s away in Bergen and I can’t help but admire him when he’s around.

After the earlier events, I’m not sure how to act around him anymore. I should probably put some distance between us and save my heart the trouble of breaking.

I look across the kitchen to where he’s sitting, his posture is relaxed, and eyes closed. The beer bottle is hanging dangerously off his lap and he seems to have fallen asleep. 

“Are you alright?” Ted nudges me and I turn to look at him.

“Fine, just working through some shit.” 

He looks over my shoulder then shifts to me again.

“It’s not a good idea, my friend.” He sighs.

“I know but there are some things that you just can’t help.” I say and he nods.

I walk to where Varg is sleeping and take the bottle out of his hands to place it somewhere safe. His face looks so peaceful and I can’t help but admire it.

Someone puts a hand on my back and I turn my head to find Øystein standing there and Per trailing behind him.

“What’s up?” He asks and gestures with his head at Varg.

“Seems like he’d fallen asleep.” I say in a low voice because I don’t want to wake him.

Øystein only hums and walks away and Per follows him. It seems that Per is always somewhat going after him. 

I go to get a blanket from the room then walk back to the living room. I feet everybody’s eyes on me but I don’t care. As I was laying the sheet on top of Varg he woke up.

He looks up at me confused for a minute then he tries to get up but ends up falling. I catch him at the right moment. Ted was next to me in a flash and I see everyone out of their seats.

“Do you want me to help?” Ted asks and I shake my head.

“I’ll manage.” I look down at him and know that something is just wrong. He can barely stand up.

“Help me.” He whispers weakly only to my ears and I nod.

I support him as we walk towards the bedroom. Even in this moment, he tries to keep his posture up as much as he can but the further we walk the more he leans.

“What do you think is up with him?” I hear Jan’s voice from the living room but I don’t pay it any attention.

There is a point where I just pick Varg up and carry him the rest of the way to the bed. I make sure that he is comfortably tucked in and turn to leave but he grabs my hand.

“Thank you.” He says and closes his eyes, his hand falling away.

Wait, what? Varg himself is saying thanks! Something is really up with him. I should ask when he’s better. It does make me happy though. How would I ever manage to get away from him if he keeps this unusual kindness?

I walk back to the living room and everyone looks at me.

“What?”

“Well, what’s up with him?” Jan asks me this time.

“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything.” I replay and Per scoffs from the corner.

“Told you he’s a pansy!” He says to Øystein who doesn’t look too happy.

“Fucking great! This is only the first day and we already have a fractured nose, a bruised jaw, a guy down and a noticeable decrease in the amount of alcohol. I don’t even want to imagine how it’ll end up.” 

I can’t help but laugh at that. This day seems like it’ll never end and I hope that no one will eventually end up dead!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Feedback is life, my friends!  
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

Do you ever get that feeling that something awful is about to go down?

Like your instincts are moving in retrograde but time is still flowing forward?

"If you're going to be so goddamn lazy then maybe I just won't fucking pay you."

It took Bård a few seconds to realize what I just said to him but halfway through my sentence I already knew I was making a big, big mistake...

And then his face twisted up awfully, and then his fist snapped back. Colours flashed until my knuckles hit something hard and with a sickening 'crack' I heard Bård shriek as he crumbled down, clutching his face.

"What the fuck Vegard?!" Tomas shouted as our drummer whimpered, his face scrunched up. Blood was leaking out of his nose.

Guilt instantly caught up to me as I grabbed him by the shoulder:

"Oh fuck are you okay?! I didn't mean to-"

"Don't fucking touch me!" Bård hissed.

He wrenched out of my grasp and moaned, bending his head to cover up his tears.

Per gently pushed me aside as he helped Bård up on the couch again, handing him a wad of paper towels.

"I'll go get Øystein, okay?" He said softly, clonking their foreheads together.

"Mhm.." he whimpered, letting Per twist the hair out of his face to stop it from getting cakey. 

Per pat my back again on the way out.

I just stood there, silently hyperventilating as Tomas sat on the couch next to him; clearly raking his mind to find a way to calm Bård down who was trembling and sobbing from the pain. 

Had I really hurt him that badly? For a half a second there I knew I wanted to, I knew I wanted him to hurt badly but I never intended for it to play out. 

I'm not a violent person; no matter how much I might not like the guy.

Of course Øystein had to lash out at me, the majority of the guys think I'm a dick for what I did but really Bård threw the first punch.. part of me is scared that Tomas will hate me for this, another part wonders if Bård can sue..

I feel like shit for underestimating my strength, I grew up on a farm and had to lug around heavy things for most of my life but I've never had to punch anyone, I've never wanted to punch anyone so badly until I met Bård...

I met him back when I was seventeen and I had Øystein to blame; Tomas didn't want to do the drumming anymore, and since we used two guitars anyway an extra drummer become a bit of a necessity, so cue in 'Faust' he's dumb and he gets touchey-feeley fast, His parents are divorced and he decided that since no one understands the sheer grimness of his soul we all have to bear the cross.

There's way too many pictures of him standing close to me, it's pretty annoying since I don't want people to look back and peg us as friends. We're not friends. We never will be.

He looks like an overgrown kid with his greasy skin and lanky body, for a drummer he has literally no muscle, he's all baby fat. He's so childish that it drives me fucking nuts, he even smells like baby lotion most of the time, the fact that the guy makes a habit of collecting war photographs and snuff films only make it all grosser to me. I remember him asking us to use the screams from the Jonestown massacre for an intro and I almost fired him right then and there..

Sometimes when I look at him I think that 'someday..someday you're going to get your twenty one years'. I just hate him so much, he's ruined everything.

I think what I think about all day: I hate him, he'd ruined everything, his tear-filled brown eyes bother the shit out of me.

My blood almost freezes over as soon as I hear the front door open, Tomas comes in, looking tired as fuck and Bård trails behind him, his face splotchy and purple, with a cast over his nose.

My eyes quickly meet Bård's, he's never had qualms about holding eye contact with me until now.

He ducks away and makes a beeline out to the patio. 

I look back at Tomas with a look that must say:

'What the fuck should I do?'

He nods at me with a look that answers 'I've done all I can'

Guilt and discomfort gnawing away at me: I shoot up and head out the door.

"Bård! Wait!" I call out, he's leaning against an oak tree, smoking a cigarette as he gazes wistfully at the cabin.

"What do you want from me?" He asks softly, tucking a hair behind his ear, as if to highlight the cast over his face.

"To say I'm sorry, I busted your nose and that-that's uncool of me: I didn't mean to I swe-"

His eyes narrow at me:

"It's whatever Ihsahn, I threw the first punch; I know you didn't mean to fracture my nose yadda yadda yadda" he blows out a smoke rings, he must still be pretty high off of whatever painkillers they forced on him.

It takes me a moment to realize that he just used my stage name instead of my first name..

He drops his hand before looking hard at me, as though he's looking for something in me, he doesn't find it clearly because his expression is just awful:

"But..for fucks sake man, just leave me alone already" his voice comes out hoarse. He drops the butt, before walking up the steps again, passing Tomas on his way out. 

He looks concerned.

Shaking my head I slump down on the ground, too lazy to pick out my own pack so I just light up his barely-used one.

"You okay there, Vegard?" Tomas asks, I'm surprised he's even asking this since almost everyone's been riding the Bash-Vegard Train today.

"'M fine, nothing's broken" I respond sardonically, I can taste spearmint and grass off of the end, I wonder where that's coming from..

I tuck my knees underneath my chin as he looks at me before sighing and rolling his eyes:

"I'm not mad at you, stop looking at me like a kicked puppy; what you said was really fucked up but he shouldn't have punched you in the first place and it's fucking uncool how everyone's treating you like you're the bad guy when if he hadn't hit you, you wouldn't have hit him back; someone needed to tell you that because it's starting to piss me right off" 

I feel my chest warm up a little bit:

"Can always count on you, can't I?" I say softly. It means more to me then Tomas could ever know.

"Course you can, man, it's been six years; no matter what I'm always on your side" he sits down next to me, hitting my boot with his as I smile.

"What I don't get though is..why the heck do you hate him so much?"

"We just don't gel" I answer instantly, this is the answer I always give people when they ask.

"Don't give me that bull; you know I always wonder: if you understood how much he admired you, would that change how you treat him?"

I stop dead at his words. Admire me? Bård admires me? What? Is that just some cheap bullshit he spews to Tomas to make Tomas feel sad for him?

"Bullshit" I snort, biting down hard on the tip, spearmint still clinging off of it when I remember this was Bård's cigarette. I spit it out.

"You don't remember when we all first met he told us he's been wanting to play with us since he saw Thou Shalt Suffer play live?"

"No" I was thinking of how to get rid of this shit as fast as I could, I wasn't really listening to his words.

"He was that guy who came up to us and was like 'oh I run a zine, you guys are so cool, here, take my demo'"

I don't remember but it must've truely been pathetic.

"No"

"Yeah well you took it, and I distinctively remember you being like 'this shits good'; you didn't throw it away, that's what you usually do"

A lightbulb lit off in my mind "re-bracket-hearse-bracket-al?"

"Yeah, what a name" he chuckles, it's such a nice, soft sound; nothing like Bård who laughs way too loud..

"Still have it, don't you?" Tomas smiles knowingly

"Yeah, I do"

"Tell him that, it might make him feel better" 

I laugh out loud "are you trying to imply that Bård's feelings are hurt just because I don't like him?"

"I didn't imply it, I literally just told you" he deadpans, knocking on my head gently. 

"He's a cool guy Vegard; Okay, yeah sure he's rough around the edges and a little bit strange but which one of us *isn't* a little bit strange? You're always wallowing around wondering why you're so lonely, well it's because you never let anyone in; there's lots of people who want to be on your side and Bård is definitely one of them" 

He takes a deep breath and loops his arms around my shoulders, my heart starts beating faster at the contact and at what he's saying:

"Look, man; we've been friends for ages, haven't we? I know you hate letting people in, I know you're afraid of being disappointed but you have more friends then you think you do, it doesn't have to be just me; so whatever your problem with Bård is I really hope you work it out"

See, that's the issue: I don't know if I can, but... I might as well try.

~*~*~

Øystein's P.O.V

The rest of them might not notice it, but I do:

"Are you seriously fucking crying, Eithun?" I gawk as I open the cabinet door to find Bård curled up in a corner, bawling his eyes out.

"Go away!" He growls, full on ugly-crying as he covers his face with his fists.

Jesus CockSucking Christ I never thought I'd live to see the day where he's actually been reduced to tears!

"Are you okay there, Bård?" Per says from behind me. 

He shakes his head, his shoulders still trembling.

Oh, oh okay be nice to the crazy one. 

Sheesh.

Per has no second thoughts about sitting next to him in the corner, watching him gently as he peaks his eyes out from underneath his palms.

Per sticks his tongue out, forcing out a laugh from Bård that disappears back into sobs.

Realizing that a heart-to-heart is inevitable I sit down cross legged in front of them both. Raking my head as to what could possibly be upsetting him this much I deadpan:

"You're more upset about the way Vegard treats you then you are about your nose, aren't you?"

"No shit Sherlock" Per retorts, as Bård sniffles, leaning up a little with his face as red as a beet.

"Fuck off Watson" I snap at Per as Bård says:

"Christ, don't you think it hurts that he hates me so much? Imagine admiring someone and wanting to be friends with them so badly but they hate your guts for no reason"

To be honest? No I can't, I've never really wanted approval from anyone and if someone didn't like me when I liked them then..tough shit. But I don't think I'd ever break down from it.

"It's okay if it hurts, a lot of thing hurt me too Bård but..if he doesn't like you then he doesn't like you, you can't let it eat you up inside" Per said softly.

'Fucking hypocrite! Look at you you're wasting away in front of us all!' My mind shouts at him. I keep quiet as Bård nods:

"I know it's childish but-"

"Bård!" Vegard screams from behind us. Oh, not this guy again!

"Hey Vegard" Per says

"Vegard you really don't need to do more then you already have!" I snap 

"Shut the fuck up Øystein!" He hisses, Bård moans out in embarrassment, burying his face in his arms

"What the fuck do you want from me?!"

"To say I'm sorry!"

"You already did now fuck off!" Bård shouts. Oh god they're going to make a scene.

"I'm also sorry for being a jerk to you!"

"That's nice now fuck off!" His voice is squeaky, he looks like his face is about to catch fire. 

Is there something I'm missing here?

Vegard takes a deep breath, his face turning crimson as he says:

"I'm also sorry for not appreciating you more, you're a really good drummer and when you gave us that demo tape a few years ago I actually kept it, I still have it"

What...?

"Who cares about a demo tape you broke his fucking nose!" I cry but Bård seems to feel differently:

"Wait...you actually kept that shit?"

"Er..uhm..yeah, if you don't believe me I can prove it to you when we get back home.." he says softly 

Is this.. is this a confession or something? 

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.

I stand up, ready to bolt:

"I'm gonna check up on Varg..yeah..that's right" I say, already charging out of the room 

I hear shuffling from behind me. 

Per.

Why the fuck does he keep following me around like this?

"Why don't you ever leave me alone?" I hiss, even though somewhere deep inside of me it occurs to me that I'm not actually that bothered by it.

"I don't like having so many people around" he shrugs 

"And yet you follow me around? Where's the logic in that?" I sneer

"There is none, I like you so I follow you" he says flippantly.

My heart catches in my throat. 

What the fuck?

"Yeah..well..I don't like you!" I snap noting how juvenile I sound.

I stomp out into the kitchen and fill up the kettle with water, almost everyone's outside now for dinner. I've been so busy with everyone's bullshit that I don't even know what we're having.

I feel his eyes on me.

"You're still here?" 

"Uhhuh" he deadpans, tilting his head before coughing and shivering. 

I remember that Per has a cold and I suppress the inexplicable urge to force medication down his throat.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Gylve on his way in to greet Bård and Vegard, who look really bashful and actually seem to be...getting along?

Is there something I'm missing?

The only thing I can think of is:

'You socked him in the jaw and you busted his nose, how fucked up are you two?'

Forgetting to tell Gylve that I accidentally let his secret slip I aggressively call out: 

"Gylve, I need you to do me a favour"

He seems taken aback "huh?"

"I need you to give Varg some painkillers and tea" I point to the screeching kettle and the cupboards "they're up there, you and I- I grab onto Per's hand- we need to have a fucking chit-chat" without waiting for his response I pull Per out the front door and out into the forest...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I exchange a few words with Vegard and Bård who seem like they’ve worked through the earlier events, which is weird but I don’t want to ruin the good mood by asking. I’ll ask Ted about it later, he always knows everything although he’s not much of a talker. I don’t know how he does it.

I’m taken aback when Øystein asks me for a favor out of the blue but when he says it’s about Varg I appreciate the move. He is pretty much giving me an alibi to spend some time alone with the guy. He can be nice in his own twisted way.

Øystein and Per go out to the woods while I go about preparing a mug of tea. 

I don’t exactly know what’s the best way to approach Varg at the moment. He is acting nicer than usual and it is quite strange after the way he behaved in the morning. I swear the guy is so hard to figure out sometimes. One minute he’s the coldest jerk you’d ever meet, the next he’s an exploding ball of emotion.

I search for the painkillers in the cupboard then grab them along with the tea and head to the bedroom.

He’s buried beneath the sheet and I approach the bed silently, placing both items on the nightstand then sitting on the bed next to him.

I pull the sheet down a little to see his face. He is frowning a little and I wonder whether he is dreaming. I reach out to glide my fingers through his silky hair gently.

“Varg, wake up. I got some tea and painkillers for you.”

He moans and opens his eyes and I let my hand fall away.

“Let me help you.”

I help him sit up and shove the pillow behind his back. When I recline I notice he is looking at me somewhat dreamily.

“Here’s your tea.” I hand him the mug. Our fingers touch and he smiles at me warmly.

I’m shocked really. This is a side of Varg that I never witnessed before. I’m starting to believe he’s full of surprises. I have to look away from him. It is too intense.

“Thanks.” His voice is still hoarse from sleeping.

I watch him as he takes a sip from the mug and borrows further into the pillow behind him.

“This tastes good.” He says and I laugh.

“It’s just tea, silly.” I tease him and his face seem to brighten.

“I’m trying to compliment your tea-making skills and you’re just blowing me off like that?”

Damn, is that supposed to be a flirtatious banter? It’s probably just in my head.

“Well, excuse me but it’s not like you to compliment anything.” I retort and he looks away, the look on his face darkening again.

Shit! I probably shouldn’t have said that.

The silence stretches as he seems to be away and I just can’t really bare it so I get up to leave.

“Gylve.” I hear my name being called softly and Gods! That shouldn’t sound so good but fuck I’ve fallen deep and hard.

I turn to look at him.

“Don’t go.”

Was that a plea I just heard? My heart is dancing like wild. I seriously need to get to the bottom of whatever’s happening to him. 

I nod and return to the spot on the bed which, I’ve occupied earlier.

The sound of laughter and probably a beer bottle breaking, broke into the air and he gave me a questioning look.

“They’re having dinner.” I laugh.

“Damn, I’m starving!” 

“Do you want to go out and join the others?” 

“In a bit maybe.” He says and I nod.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I suddenly crave Gylve’s presence and care? I know I’ve taken him for granted before but now I’m noticing many other things about him. Like the smell of his hair and his overwhelming kindness.

I’m so stupid for treating him like trash. He doesn’t deserve it but on the other hand I’m afraid that this sudden spur of neediness inside of me is generated because of my deranged mind and obsession.

I don’t think anyone have put up with my bullshit as much as he has and for that I should be grateful. Maybe I have a deep psychological problem. He’s giving me attention and I’m demanding more. How could I’ve not noticed his attention before?

I live too much in my own head that’s for sure and I just expect everyone to understand, which they of course never do.

When Gylve got up, I was scared that he’d leave me alone and I called out for him. I felt much relieved when came back to me. 

I’m starving but I also don’t want to lose this alone time with Gylve so food can wait a little longer.

Fuck, here we go again with the headache. Way to go Varg.

“Are you, ok?” Gylve asks with a concerned look, which makes me happy.

“Just a headache.”

“Here.” He hands me the painkillers and I smile at him.

“Can I ask you something directly?”

“Sure.”

“What’s going on with you? You gave us a scare out there.”

I think he meant to say that I gave ‘him’ a scare. That’s sweet of him anyways.

“I haven’t been feeling too well since the morning, which reminds me. I’m sorry I was a dick to you earlier.”  
He looks at me shocked. He probably didn’t expect me to apologize. Hell, I didn’t expect me to apologize!

“It’s alright. Now I know you weren’t feeling well. Look I want you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need to talk about something. Don’t push yourself far enough to collapse.” He says and I truly felt cared for.

“I appreciate it, Gylve.” I say and we smile at each other.

My stomach chose that moment to growl loudly and remind me that I need to get some food into my system.

“I think it’s time to eat.” He laughs and stands up.

“I believe it is.” I get up slowly and he looks me over.

“Do you need any help?”

“I think I’ll manage but would you mind staying close to me just in case?”

“No not at all.” He sounds eager and walks right beside me that our shoulders brush every now and then.

Voices get louder as we approach the gathered bunch and I surveyed all of them for a moment.

This must be the most fucked up bunch you’d ever see, myself included.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Feedback is life!  
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

 

"Can't this wait? I'm hungry an-"

I cut Per off by shoving him hard against a tree trunk, earning a low groan as he stares down at me.

"This isn't the actions of a man who wishes to be left alone" he taunts and I feel my temper spike, banging him harder into the oak.

"-shut it!" I hiss "why the fuck have you been following me around everywhere?"

He pressed his lips into a straight line, looking away from me. I slap his face towards mine.

"Aren't you going to say anything?!"

"Any inquiries can be dealt with through my lawyer" Per says capriciously, looking away again as my jaw drops:

"You think this is funny?!"

He rolls his eyes before looking at me with a sigh: "I think you're being melodramatic, yes, driving me up a tree during dinner time just because I followed you around today is hardly something a sane person would do, are you okay Øystein?"

"So you admit it!" I say, sounding manic to my own ears; today has really worn me out.

"Have I ever denied it?" He deadpanned and I slapped Per across the face, he yelped, clutching his cheek with a shocked expression.

"You asshole!" I hiss

"Me? The asshole?! You slapped me!" He cries, I must have slapped him hard because he's biting his lip. It's nightfall now so I can barely see anymore, in the darkness I can make out his indignant features. I'm so nervous I feel like puking.

"I'll do it again! Now answer me why the fuck are you following me around?!"

He drops his hand and looks at me exasperatedly: "I already told you why! It's because I fucking like you!"

My mind goes to shit.

"What does that even mean?!" I cry out, my tone making me sound like I'm the midst of an existential crisis 

"It means I like you!"

"What does that mean?!" I repeat. Per likes me how? What? When? Why?!

My whole life flashes before my eyes.

He groans loudly before grabbing my head, roughly turning it to the side before his lips attack mine. My body instantly rejects it, thrashing against him as his nails dig hard into my scalp.

No. No. No. No. No!! This is Per!

He's a guy! His mouth is on my mouth and he's doing that thing you do to people you like!

Fuck!

He bites my lower lip before roughly pushing me away. My eyes must be bulging out of my skull.

"There's your answer" he says blankly, walking up the trail to the house. My fingers instantly rise to my mouth, it still tingles where he bit it. 

I don't have the strength to run after him and beat him to a bloody pulp, my entire body is on fire as I slump down, breathing heavy as the taste of him invades my mouth. I spit it out before groaning.

Have we all lost our minds?!

~~Per's P.O.V:~~

Part of me wished that he would've kept the kiss going, even though I knew going into it there was a chance that it would completely kill any begrudging respect we have between us.

I thought he'd punch me, or kick me, or call me a faggot but instead he just stood there with his jaw unhinged, like the wind was just kicked out of him. I almost wanted to do it again but I decided not to test my luck.

It's not like he could kick me out, Jørn and Jan would never let him so I don't really give a damn if he knows, I don't even care if he kills me for it. He can go ahead, I don't care, I've escaped death twice and three times the charm, right?

Damn.

It's the kind of weather that makes me want to 'follow the freezing moon' walk along the brook and pretend I'm a vampire or something; if it wasn't for everyone coming over I probably could but everyone's busy..maybe I could go with Bård in the night, usually I'd go with Jørn or Brit whenever she's over but it'll do.

I hope I don't give Øystein my cold, I feel another round of coughs hit me as I finally spot our cabin; Bård and Jørn are of course the first to notice me, I wave at them as I climb up the stairs.

"Hello" I say, trying to ignore all the people

"Sit here!" Bård says, patting the empty seat next to him and Jørn. 

For someone who just got their nose broken he looks surprisingly cheerful, I think he and Vegard might have finally put aside their differences; that's good, I've always thought he was a good guy, that feud was pointless.

I still can't get used to eating, or the idea that I really am human; for so long I've trapped myself in my rhetoric that i'm...Dead that accepting eating, brushing my teeth, sleeping, all of that is so new.

Brit says I'm still too skinny, but told me that I was looking better. I like to be praised.

I spend most of dinner listening to what Bård is saying, lucky for me he's so talkative since I don't like to speak; I notice Vegard staring at him, as if he's studying him, Tomas is leaning against his shoulder, smoking a cigarette. 

"Have some more" Jørn urges, already spooning more stew into my bowl.

I nod, I'm already full but I need to eat, I don't want to fight with Jørn.

"What did Øystein want to talk to you about?" He asks, leaning into me

"You saw?" Well..clearly!

He looks at me worriedly, putting a hand on my arm.

Me and Øystein didn't always get along; we were good friends when we first met, although since he speaks some weird uppity dialect of Norwegian I could understand him the least, still, we got along; slowly we stopped getting along though.

He's really dramatic and capricious, and can be really dumb too. He used to push me around a lot and make fun of me. At some point Jørn had to bring all my meals in my bedroom because I'd threaten that if I had to see Øystein I'd kill him, I even stabbed him once after he threatened me with a gun. He started shooting at the air so I stabbed him. He was alright, obviously.

We started getting along more after April of '91; I tried to kill myself, I would've if he hadn't found me.

I cut too deep so I couldn't shoot myself, he thought I was dead for a second and I kind of thought he'd finish the job but he called the ambulance instead. I hated him for that. I remember him holding onto my hand while we were in the car. I think I might have broken him a little bit.

"Nothing happened, it's alright" I lie with a tight lipped smile, although something did happen if anyone's the instigator it's probably me!

He sits back down and takes a sip of liquor; I spoon more stew in my mouth and sigh.

Eating is nice, eating is one of the nice things about being alive.

Looking up I notice Øystein walking up the steps, his face is really red and I'm pretty sure it's all my fault.

He averts my glance and makes a beeline for Gylve, who's in the kitchen; I notice Varg staring at his ass and I scowl.

Øystein is mine. Fuck off Varg!

The guilt must be eating him up inside, I heard him swear Varg to secrecy out of my bedroom window but I have the sneaking suspicion he's about to go render that all null, that's how Øystein is, tries to clean up a mess and in the process makes a bigger one.

Ahh well, I need to remember to ask Bård if he wants to go on that night hike.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I watch Varg from the kitchen. He is eating outside and I busied myself in the kitchen on purpose to observe him without being too obvious. 

I feel a little stab when his head clearly follows Øystein who is heading into the kitchen. His face is red and he looks baffled. Despite the pain, Øystein has nothing to do with it and I do care about his wellbeing.

“You don’t look too well.” 

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He breathes and I frown. By the way he’s looking, it’s probably importnant. 

“Alright.” 

We move to the deserted living room. All the guys were outside at the moment.

“I’m just gonna put it out there straight.” He puffs and my scowl intensifies. “I kinda told Varg that you like him.”

I don’t know what I feet at this moment. Hurt, enraged, disappointed and utterly destroyed. In a quick movement, I punch him hard and he staggers in his place.

~~Ted’s P.O.V:~~

I am in a middle of a conversation with Jan about music when shouts break out from inside. I recognize Gylve’s voice and immediately leap up from my seat. Noticing that the others did so as well.

By the time, we made it inside, Gylve and Øystein were rolling on the ground fighting. I got to them in two seconds and grabbed ahold of Gylve’s raging form.

“Leave me!” He shouts but I restrain him as Jan did the same to Øystein.

I look at the others who are quite shocked. In truth, I am shocked myself. Gylve and Øystein are good friends not to mention that Gylve never liked to result to violence.

I don’t know why I have this feeling of knowing what’s the cause or rather who, and I spare a glance at Varg who’s standing on the side with wide eyes.

I drive a thrashing Gylve outside and push him in the direction of the woods.

“Calm down.” I say and he grunts.

I lighten a cigarette and give it to him.

“Here, this might help.”

He takes it and inhales the smoke deeply then blows it outside.

I watch him as he paces a couple of times then settles against a tree.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” 

He sighs and inhales more smoke. It is so dark out here the only thing that I could spot clearly, is the burning end of the cigarette.

“He went out and fucking told him!” He hisses and I immediately connect the dots.

“He told Varg that you like him?” I ask to make sure.

“Yes!”

“Damn.” I say and face palm mentally. Well, that was a dumb thing to do.

“And I, the stupid head, was wondering why Varg has been acting unusually nice ever since he got back from buying the beer despite his unbearable coldness in the morning.” He shouts and I shake my head.

“Listen,” I approach him and place a hand on his shoulder, “if Øystein told him..”

I trail off as I hear the sounds of approaching footsteps and we both turn our heads to the side trying to make out whom it is.

“Gylve?” Varg’s voice sounds and I curse.

“Fuck off, Varg.” Gylve snaps.

“Hey, I just wanted to check up on you. What happened?” He asks genuinely sounding concerned.

“Why don’t you go check on your lover, eh?” Gylve retorts and I clench my teeth. This is not going well.

“What the fuck are talking about?”

“Come on! Do you really take me for a fool? It’s clear that you like Øystein so go run to him.” Gylve’s shouts, starts to shake, and I tighten my hold over his shoulder.

“That’s enough! Varg, please leave. He’s clearly angry and doesn’t know what he’s saying.” I say and Varg just turns and stomps back to the house probably pissed as hell.

Gylve relaxes again.

“That was stupid wasn’t it?”

“Do you really want to hear the answer?”

“Fuck!” He exclaims.

“Well, everything can be fixed later when you’re in the right frame of mind. What I wanted to say before is that, if Øystein had told him and he’s being nice then it’s a good thing because if he had completely rejected the idea then he would’ve tried to avoid you at best.”

“You think so? What if he just pities me?” 

“Gylve, I didn’t like this from the start but that doesn’t mean that I don’t support you. I believe he sounded truly concerned but you had to fuck it up.” I laugh and he punches me playfully.

“Damn! I shouldn’t have hit Øystein. He probably thought that he was helping me.” He sighs and I hum.

“Most likely.” 

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

Great, fucking great! Could this day get any worse? Like seriously, could it? 

I stomp back to the house in anger. I can’t believe he just said this to me! When did things spiral so out of control?

I tried my best to conceal my crush for Øystein how did Gylve pick up on it? It’s probably because of the stupid collage incident this morning. Fuck! 

I spot Øystein who looks pissed himself with Per hovering behind him, right outside and I head in their direction.

“What the hell happened?” I ask when I reach them.

“Fuck off, Varg.” Øystein hisses.

“Yeah, fuck off!” Per mimics and it gets me even more pissed.

“You stay out of it.” I spit at Per “Now, would you just tell me what on earth would make you and Gylve fight?” 

“You, obviously.” Øystein snaps.

“What did I do?” I shout.

“Look, I told him that I told you, alright? Now fuck off, I’m not in the mood for any more of your bullshit.” He says and I close my eyes in total dismay.

“You made me swear to secrecy and you end up telling him, why?” I ask trying to calm myself down.

“Because I wanted to, besides he thinks you like me.”

Fuck, so Gylve actually told him. Dammit!

“And what if I do?” I ask in a low voice and notice how Per is glaring at me.

“What have you gone completely insane? There’s no way in hell!” He shouts and walks away.

I guess this day just managed to get ten times worse.

Is this what they call a heart shatter? Because I swear I just heard it rattling inside of me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Since I'm travelling tomorrow I won't be able to update, so I decided to grace you with two new chapters!  
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein’s P.O.V:~~

Damn it all. Fucking damn it all straight to hell.

Great! So now that runt likes me, my insane bandmate likes me, there is not a face in this group that remains unpunched, I think I'm losing my fucking marbles.

After I chew out Varg, I head out to the trail with Per behind me. Jesus Christ, he's a stalker.

"Go away" I say weakly from over my shoulder, the memory of his mouth on mine still branded on my mind.

"You're 5,5 and it's dangerous it here"

"Right Perra, because your 120 pounds of pure muscle will protect me" I retort sarcastically.

"Yeah well..I'm half a foot taller then you, plus-" I hear the click of an opened Swiss Army knife "-you forgot yours at home"

I whirl around to face a Per, who's holding the knife up with an innocuous expression.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I mumble, shaking my head and turning back trying my best to put distance between us.

"Many things" he hums "nice night, isn't it?"

'Would be nicer if you weren't here, nut-fuck' my mind shouts. I keep my lips in a thin line as my boots stomp along the gravel.

Varg's confession still rings hard in my head; he likes me. He fucking likes me.

He wants me.

He thinks about fucking me.

He likes me.

Dread fills my gut; it's like we're all possessed! I have half the mind to admit to Per that he was right, that I should've called it off, that this is was an insane idea and a horrible one. That so many people can't live toghether even for a short time. 

That I'm an idiot. 

That I fuck everything up. 

Fuck fuck fuck!!

"Don't do that, you'll wear yourself out further" Per murrmurs from behind me.

"How do you know?" I ask, more shocked then anything else.

"I don't know, I just kinda feel it I guess..." I stop dead in my tracks, he puts a hand on my shoulder. It's cold and thin almost like a skeleton covered in a thin layer of rubber.

"It'll be okay, just tell Gylve you're sorry, that when you told Varg you believed he already knew; that's the truth, isn't it?"

Somewhat, I didn't think Gylve flat-out told him but the way Gylve made it sound and honestly how obvious it is I thought he already knew and that's why he was so cold..

Shit, I shouldn't have told him! Varg was already being less of a douche to Gylve; I fucked up any chance of things going back to normal with my little stunt, even worse I fucked up my friendship with Gylve.

Per's fingers tug over the sore muscle, applying pressure where I needed it the most.

"Get your hand off of my shoulder" my voice came out weak to my own ears, and I didn't blame him for not taking me seriously. A shiver rolled down my spine.

"You're acting like I'm going to eat you alive" He was trying to be humorous but...

"You might"

Per makes a 'tch' nose: "please, Øystein, if anyone's eating anyone alive..it's you to me"

There's a nuance I'm not getting, I know. But it's all fucked up anyway, staring up at the sky, the moon is obscured by curtains of misty clouds; you can see millions of little stars... and I just don't care.

~~Bård's P.O.V:~~

Blue eyes wake me up but...not the kind I was hoping for.

"Pelle?" I whisper with a lazy smile as Pelle crouches down by my sleeping bag.

"Wanna go on a night walk around the forest?" He asks; I know most people would be weirded out if their maniac friend suddenly showed up by their sleeping bag asking to walk through supposedly haunted woods but I'm used to it, this is Pelle after all! This is what I like him for!

"Sure, man" I nod eagerly; I've abandoned the idea of ghosts existing back when I was a kid but that didn't mean I couldn't still love the mysticism. 

Scampering out of my sleeping bag I almost trip over Vegard as Pelle snickers at my pyjama bottoms. Sometimes when I'm away from home too long I like to wear the mistletoe ones my mother got me for Christmas. 

I flip him off as I look for a sweater, settling for the nearest thing I could find: Vegard's teal cable knit turtleneck. Since he doesn't hate me so much anymore I'm sure he'll be alright with it, we'll probably return before he wakes up anyway..

"MmmmBård?" Speak of the devil..

"Oh er...hey!" I stutter as he sits up; like me he sleeps shirtless, unlike me he looks way better doing it.

He's hoisted up by his elbows; whenever I see his biceps flex I always feel the need to do ten push-ups. He's kinda muscley by nature though, since he's a little farmer boy.

"Mmmmmm" Vegard drawls, pushing his curly hair out of his face "what're you doing with my sweater?"

"Me and Per want to go out for a night hike" I admit 

"Ooooooh...but..why my sweater?" Good question. Ask another one.

"Er..I like it?" No I really don't it's the most fucking pussy thing I've ever seen but he doesn't need to know that.

"Fiiine...jus-just don't fu-uck it up then" and he flips himself over on his stomach, cuddling his pillow.

I smile to myself before throwing it over my head, I'm taking it as a testimony to the possibility of a friendship between us; he's always complained I wear too much cologne.

I follow Per out of the patio, feeling the nights breeze cool down the sweat gathered on the back of my neck.

I stretch out, sighing contentedly as the pressure in my bones disappears. My nose kinda hurts but with the painkillers it's more of a dull ache then anything I couldn't manage.

"I take it you and Vegard finally put aside your differences?" He asks as we trek the grass. It smells like dew from the rain a few hours earlier, it wets my trainers as we start walking along the path.

"Yeah..guess so" I say, breathless at the idea. Call me a faggot but I've always really liked how talented he was, you always wanna be friends with people you admire.. aside from not liking me Vegard's smart, talented, creative and passionate..I like that.

"It's good, it was a pointless feud" Per shakes his head, for once his hair is in a ponytail, gathered up high.

"Speaking of pointless feuds- what's with you and Varg- also do you have an extra elastic?"

"Only a scrunchie" I scowl at it before taking it anyway, plaiting my hair as I ask:

"Okay, so on your feud with Varg, why? It's weird, you two are so nice yet to each other you're such douchebags" I rethink that "no, wait, Vargs usually a dick. But he's a nice kind of a dick, with you he's just a dick"

Pelle's jaw sets, he hops over a rock as we look over the stream; the cabin is still in vision.

"It's complicated"

I tilt my head, kicking off my trainers to dip my feet into the stream.

"Y'know, I get that you've known me since I was fifteen but come on Pelle! I'm taller then you! I'm a man now with chest hair and everything!" I crack up at my own joke, okay so maybe that last bit isn't entirely true but the point remains.

He ruffles the top of my head: "I'm not trying to upset you, it really is complicated; some people get along some people don't, he's always clung around Øystein, made fun of me if Øystein did, now that he and I are...friends again I guess Vargs laid off of me but it doesn't change that I'm pissed off about it"

It makes sense but I get the feeling he's not telling me the whole truth 

"You forgave Øystein"

"I never forgave him for anything" he shrugs "he was the one who found me, things were so bad back then that I thought he was just gonna finish what I'd started.."

I couldn't imagine that. Not in a million years. Øystein could be really mean if he wanted to, I've seen him threaten people for no reason and he's the one who's given me most of my snuff films but when it comes to Pelle? I couldn't imagine him doing something like that. Sometimes he calls me up and talks about something stupid that Pelle did, at first I thought he was gossiping but it quickly dawned on me that he was just letting off steam. He can say whatever he wants, I know he truly cares about Pelle!

I stay silent, putting a hand on his thin shoulder; he used to be much skinnier then this, I'm glad he's getting better; he's one of the best vocalists in this scene.

He doesn't talk much and neither do I, we both just sit there and revel in the mysticism and esoteric beauty of nature until the sun begins the rise over the horizon and our favourite Vampire decides it's time to return to his bed.

"I'll stay here" I say breathlessly as I stare out at then scenery, little specks of light dance around the river...

"Go to sleep soon though" he frowns, patting my back before walking away.

I stand there, in awe of it all around me as I breathe heavy, closing my eyes to let the refraction dance around my eyelids.

Suddenly my head is snapped back. Adrenaline pumping through my veins as I draw my elbow back:

"Chill, 's jus' me" my attacker slurs sleepily I quickly realize it's just Vegard though.. to my surprise

"Hey.." I say, his drowsy eyes boring into mine.

"That sweater looks nice on you, candy?" He nods at me, holding out a wrapped red-currant flavoured mint. I shake my head.

He rolls his eyes, unwrapping it and sticking it in his mouth. I stare at his profile; even sleepily he looks good. Kinda girly though.

His hair is shoved out of the way and I can see his blonde roots.

"Hmm?" Vegard asks me sleepily and I realize I've been staring, laughing nervously I say:

"Why are you up so early? Did I wake you up?"

"Nah, I wake up early to exercise, a little earlier today but...early bird catches the worm, right?" 

He kneels to splash some stream water on his face. I've been the bands drummer for two years now and I only find this out now. Wow!

"Oh.." I nod; realizing that I'm completely alone with him, he still has a splotchy bruise on his jaw.

"Would you like to go on a run with me?" He asks, turning towards me; he has this odd look on his face, like he's unsure. It almost want to say no but like fate the words come out for me:

"Oh er...yeah! Sure!" I smile, getting off the boulder to stretch out.

"The sweater really does suit you, by the way, it looks nice with your hair and skin" he points out.

"Uhm..thanks?" I beam, pushing some of the hair from out of the turtleneck as I look back at the cabin; everyone else seems to be miserable but I dunno 'bout them:

I'm pretty happy!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I ignore everyone for the rest of the night and curl up in my sleeping bag. It’s all too much to take really. I was so excited about this weekend now I just want it to end. 

I’m so stupid and impulsive and now I got myself hurt, the guy I like is probably repulsed by me and my best friend is angry with me. Way to go, Varg. Way to go. This is the first time I feel like things are way out of control. I usually have fun with it but this time I’m nowhere near happy. I have an urge to bury myself somewhere and stay there, maybe Per isn’t too odd after all. 

Fucking hell, now I even think that Per has a point! What’s wrong with me? I should seriously get some sleep. I’m so goddamned tired.

I run my palm over my face in sheer exhaustion and close my eyes tightly, willing sleep to take me away.

A change of light beyond my eyelids spring me to consciousness. I open my eyes slowly and look up at the shadow that is hovering above me. I realize it’s Gylve and I sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

He lowers himself to sit beside me and hands me one of the mugs he’s carrying. I know instantly that it’s coffee and that makes me feel a tiny bit better.

We sit in silence for a while, somehow it isn’t awkward despite the events of yesterday. That, of course, doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it but Gylve always has an aura of serenity around him, which was opposite to my destructive one.

“I’m sorry, Varg. For the way I spoke to you yesterday.” He sighs.

“Yeah, whatever.” I mumble and he gives me a side-glance.

“I said it out of anger.” He tried but I’m not budging.

“Look, you can go be happy,” I snap and he’s startled, “He doesn’t want me, okay?” my voice fails at the last word and I close my eyes tightly.

“I admit I’m jealous but I wish you nothing but happiness and frankly he’s stupid to let you get away.”

I look up and see sincerity in Gylve’s eyes. I don’t know how it makes me feel, I’m not used to all of this kindness from anyone.

Noise breaks out as breakfast preparation begins and a new day starts. I’m not particularly excited about it. 

“Come on let’s go have breakfast together.” Gylve says and I turn at the sound of his voice. I must have remained silent for a while.

“I’m not hungry.” I’m really not, the thought of food wasn’t anywhere near appealing at the moment.

“You need to eat so you wouldn’t collapse like yesterday. Come on, darling, at least a little, for me.”

Darling! Seriously? But I can’t really say no to that and I am not in the mood for discussion so I relent and get up to stretch my muscles then we head together towards the gathered guys.

“Morning.” I mumble and sit down.

Ted, Jørn, Tomas and Jan are already here while Bård, Per and Øystein are still missing. I feel somewhat relieved that I still had sometime before facing Øystein again.

Gylve settles next to me and we start to eat while sipping more coffee. I don’t feel like partaking in any conversation so I remain silent.

When Øystein comes out to join us, he does’t look at me at all. He completely ignores me and sits next to Jørn. I find myself not able to put another thing in my mouth and I leave everything and lean back into my seat staring at the ground.

Gylve puts a hand over my shoulder and leans closer to me.

“Are you alright?” He asks and I look at him. I don’t feel the need to lie to him and I shake my head.

I think he understands and glares across the table at Øystein then he suddenly grabs me by the upper arm and pulls me to my feet along with him earning us a few strange looks from the guys.

He starts walking and dragging me with him into the woods. 

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask and pull away from him.

“Calm down. It upsets me to see you sad.” He says and my jaw almost hangs.

How could someone be bothered over the sadness of someone else? This guy keeps surprising me with his incredible kindness and I’m at a complete loss for words, which doesn’t happen often.

“Look, you might think that I’m talking out of my jealousy but believe me when I say that you deserve someone who treats you well and who cares about your feelings because I know you’re not as heartless as you appear to be.” Gylve says, looking at me straight.

A strange feeling builds up inside me, I think I’m overwhelmed. 

“Maybe you’re right but it doesn’t erase the fact that it hurts.”

Gylve takes a few steps towards me and envelops me in his arms. I hesitate for a moment but I wrap my own arms around him.

“What I need you to know is that, I’m here for you, even if I’ll never be with you, I will always be beside you.” He says and tightens his hold around me.

An unfamiliar feeling of safety washes over me and I close my eyes, wishing that none of this had ever happened.

When I open my eyes, I notice a movement to the side and spot Øystein lighting a cigarette. I think he can see us but I don’t indicate that I see him as well.

Something pushes me to bother him, maybe if he sees me happy in the arms of someone else he’d realize what he’s missing and without further thinking, I lean back in the embrace to look at Gylve and kiss him softly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see how Øystein threw away the cigarette and turned back the way he came from. Hopefully I’ve managed to annoy him.

Gylve looks at me completely shocked and I smile at him gently.

“Thanks for being here.”

He just nods with his mouth hanging open and I laugh, patting him on the shoulder.

“Let’s go inside.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

It's anarchy. That's what it is.

It takes me everything in my power not to march up to Varg and rip him away from Gylve before beating him to a pulp so bloody that the surgeon wouldn't be able to tell his testicles from his nose.

He thinks I didn't notice his little side-eye? This bullshit is making me sick. I crush my cigarette with the heel of my boot, imagining it's Varg's fugly face before I head inside.

The scene I'm greeted with isn't any less demented and downright disturbing, Jørn is phoning Brit, Jan is watching the morning news with Tomas and Ted as Bård sits on the countertop, happily fucking chatting away with Vegard as he fries four eggs. Clearly. FUCKING CLEARLY for the both of them.

I vomit in my mouth a little as I climb over the barstool. Bård's mouth instantly spreads into a wide smile before he cringes and clutches his nose.

"You look sad" Bård says nasally, pushing his hair back as he lights up a cigarette, taking a drag before passing it to Vegard.

"I'm fine. Slept like shit due to Ted's fuckin' snoring- where's Per?" I ask, realizing he's nowhere to be seen.

Oh no.

"Went back to bed I think, he didn't sleep much; we went on a hike at around 4 and I don't think he slept before that-"

"And you let him?!" I gawk. Is he stupid?! Per could've gotten hurt or something! He could've gotten even more sick! Per's stupid! He can't take care of himself why doesn't anyone get that?!

"Yeah... he's an adult and he was wearing like...two sweaters.." Bård says slowly, looking at me funny.

"Did Jørn give him medication?!"

"I don't think so he's been on the phone all morning..."

"Shit!" I get up, rummaging through the cupboards for the hidden bottle of prescription pills as I fill yo his favourite 'I heart Transylvania' mug with tap water before rushing down the hall.

I can hear Vegard say: "wrath of the tyrant, huh?" And Bård laughing like a hyena. Some friends those guys are...

"Per!" I kick at Per's door "open up!"

"Its locked for a reason fuck face!" I kick it again:

"open it"

"I'm busy!"

"No you're not! Now open the goddamn fucking door before I kick it down and you have to deal with having a doorless bedroom!"

I hear a frustrated groan and some rustling before the door slowly opens.

His face is bright red against his light hair as I hold up his medication and mug.

I notice his hands tremble as he takes them.

"Are you okay?" I ask suspiciously...one missed dosage and he's already gone mad.

"I-I'm fine you just interrupted me in the middle o-of.." he hides his blush with the cup as I feel a screw coming undone in my mind... of what?!

"Of what..?" Oh god. His eyes are bloodshot. His lips are swollen d-don't tell me he was.. NO WAY! NO NO NO NO.

"What do you *think*?" He hisses and my jaw finally breaks off of my cheekbones and falls to the grown before shattering into a million tiny pieces..if that were possible.

"Can't you think of somewhere more private to do it?!" I whisper-shout 

"What's more private then my fucking bedroom?" He snaps and I stand there slack-jawed until he rolls his eyes and leans against the doorway.

"Are you gonna leave now or do you want an invitation to help finish the job?" He smiles bitterly and I almost trip backwards.

"Disgustin-"

And he uses the oppurnity to close the bedroom door and this time i hear him twist both locks shut.

I stand there for a solid minute, staring at the door as I imagine all the gross things he must be doing in there. Does he masturbate to those weird monster-girl comic strips he collects?

Gross.

Throughly disturbed I turn on my heel and walk out, painfully aware my face must be on fire.

"How did the Per thing go?" Bård asks, spooning salmon into his mouth as I put the mug in the sink

"Er..uhm..uh.." I stutter, unsure what to say since 'I WALKED ON PER MASTURBATING, PER HAS A SEX LIFE, OH MY SATAN' isn't an appropriate response.

He bursts out laughing as he gets a good look at me: "what did you do?! Walk in on him fucking himself to Jerry Seinfeld?"

....that's not too far away from the truth. Nice going Bård..

"No.." I say, regaining some composure as Varg and Gylve walk in, both of their faces as red as beets. I notice Varg staring at me but when my eyes try to meet Gylve he looks away, pretending I don't even exist.

I want to talk to him but I can't with that stupid man-cunt Varg there, he probably wouldn't even let me. Clenching my fists as I feel a fire burn in my soul...

I realize two things:

One: he's is still looking at me and his eyeballs look exactly like targets

And two: Varg Vikernes must die.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I got some love from Varg today! 
> 
>  
> 
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I have a little victory dance inside when Øystein looks at me with eyes full of hate. I probably shouldn’t feel so pleased but it means that I got to him and that’s enough. I will pay back his shitty rejection in my own way. 

My destructive side is calling for retribution over the pain maybe it’s not so fair but I’ll do what I can to remain under his skin. He may never think of me in the way I want but at least I’ll be a constant presence in his thoughts.

“Hey Varg, come sit with me. I want your thoughts on something.” Jan calls out for me and I look back at Gylve.

“Go.” He smiles at me and I return it.

Jan asks me about a few drum related things and musical stuff. I always liked Jan more than the other guys in Mayhem, Øystein aside. He’s talented, honest and fair, yet he’s quite demented and that’s what makes him great.

I notice Øystein strolling over to Gylve, probably wanting to talk to him and an idea flashes in my head.

“Anything else you want to talk about?” I ask Jan and he shakes his head.

“I’m good. Thanks, man.” 

“Anytime.”

I approach Gylve innocently and he looks at me.

“Do you want to take a walk with me?” I ask and bat my lashes at him. I’m quite aware of my charms and he’s so easy to persuade.

“Of course.” He doesn’t even say another word to Øystein and I smirk in his direction as he glares at me and I walk together with Gylve outside.

Two-zero my friend. 

“What did Øystein want?” I ask while we’re strolling next to each other near the stream.

“I don’t know. He barely had time to talk before you cut in and I don’t care. This is much better.” He smiles at me sweetly and I smile back half in glee over the situation with Øystein.

“What if he wants to make things better?” I try to play the innocent part like this is not all going the way I exactly want it to be.

“So? He didn’t just disappoint me but he hurt you too. Let me be honest here, I don’t think I can be around him with the complex situation between the three of us.”

“But you’re here with me.” I say to see if he’d consider changing his mind.

“You’re something else entirely.” He says and my smile is so wide I must look weird. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you kiss me earlier? It’s not that I mind, of course, or that I want to make things weird but I’m curious to know.” 

“Because I wanted to. It felt like the right thing to do at that moment.” I say and suddenly realize that it’s only half a lie. I guess a part of me did in fact crave it. Gylve, after all, is an attractive man who’s quite caring and kind towards me.

“Will it happen again?” He asks and I stop, looking into his hopeful eyes.

“We’ll see.” I bite my lower lip through a smile and turn my back to him, walking in the direction of the cabin.

“Tease.” I hear him say and I catch myself from laughing out loud.

I have him wrapped around my little finger, that’s for sure.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I sit down on the couch a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I’m very happy that I’m spending time with Varg, I think he’s finally seeing that I’m the best choice for him.

“You’re smiling like a love-struck fool.” Ted breaks me out of my thoughts as he throws himself on the couch next to me.

“Maybe I am.”

“A fool? Definitely.” He laughs and I shove him playfully.

“Asshole. No, I meant in love.” 

Fuck, am I really in love? This is developing fast.

“Oh boy! This is serious stuff you’re implying, Nagell.” He sighs.

“I know but fuck if I’m not feeling alive,” I shake my head, “He kissed me.” I reveal and he looks at me taken aback.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I know! I didn’t see it coming either.”

“Geez,” He looks around, “And where’s lover boy?”

“He’ll probably kick your ass if he heard that and he’s in the shower.” I say and he nods.

“Look, I’m glad that you’re happy and that things between you are developing maybe you’ll get what you wanted for a long time. I have to warn you though, as your friend, Varg is not the type to be trusted and I fear he’s playing a game and you’ll eventually get your heart broken.”

“No, he’s finally come to his senses and saw that I am a million times better for him than Øystein will ever be.” I am convinced with this idea and Ted just gives me a bitter look.

“I do hope so, my friend, for your own good.” He pats my shoulder and gets up.

Ted and I have been friends for a long time. He’s the quiet observant type and he’s probably the most one with common sense but sometimes he fails to see the bright side of things over his realistic criticism and thorough analysis. He’s mostly peaceful but when Ted is angry, everyone must run and hide. He turns completely insane. I had the pleasure of seeing that once or twice, he rarely ever gets so enraged.

I get up to get myself another beer but Øystein interrupts me halfway.

“I think it’s time we talk.” He says and I roll my eyes.

“What do you want?”

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it shut when his eyes catch something behind me.

I don’t get the chance to turn around before an arm settles over my shoulder and I realize it’s Varg, freshly showered, his hair dripping wet. I stare at him for a moment. Damn! He’s fucking beautiful.

I remember Øystein still standing there, glaring at us.

“You were saying?”

“Never mind.” He spits out and walks away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

My plot gets foiled yet again when Varg gets out of the shower.

It's like he has some kind of 6th sense that lets him know that I'm trying to talk to Gylve because he keeps interrupting us.

It disgusts me to see Gylve wrapped around his conniving little finger; he's so naive to think that Varg actually likes him and isn't using him to try to get to me!

That heartless, soulless bastard! I need to put the kibosh on this bullshit! I could always just shoot him like in Old Yeller but unfortunately I don't own a muffler and I don't have any expertise in hiding a dead body.

As they're walking out the forest I decide that there's only one thing to do:

Kill Varg Vikernes; and if not physically then spiritually.

I need to break him to the point where not even Gylve can be used to repair the wound.

My eyes instantly go to Bård, sprawled on the sofa messily eating a bag of chips, for once not surrounded by either Vegard or Tomas but my mind instantly scraps the idea.

No. No. Not him. I don't know who'd kill me sooner: Tomas or Per, but by recent developments I think that maybe Vegard could be the one putting a bullet through me if I ever tried anything.

And speak of the devil Vegard and Tomas both come in with logs of firewood; I notice Vegard flick his forehead as Tomas sits down next to him.

Yeah, it'd definitely be Vegard first because he pushes him over so that Bård is squished between them, smiling happily as he crams more chips into his mouth; what a fucking pig. I can't chose him he looks like a greasy fucking chipmunk!

Vegard notices me staring at Bård: "is he okay?" He whisper-says to the drummer as though I can't hear. 

Silly fool. 

I can hear everything.

Bård's head snaps up as he looks over at me before turning to Vegard: "dunno man, he has that face that makes him look like he hasn't shat in weeks!"

"Hey Vegard, remember those laxative brownies we used to make for our birthday parties so that the idiots who actually chose to show up would get explosive diarrhea?"

"Yeah?" He nods.

I can hear everything you know.

"Should we?" Tomas asks with a smirk

Oh Jesus fucking Christ I can't think of anything creepier then Vegard's smile, he has that kind of smile that look like a serial killer no matter what he's looking at!

I turn my back on them and find Per sitting at the kitchen island, reading a comic book. Still not fully recovered from this morning I decide he's the only person that I can use for this.

"I need to speak with you" I declare, slamming my palm down on the superhero comic book he's in the middle of reading.

"Again?" Per asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yes, again" I say firmly

"Is it about this morning because if it makes you feel any better I was actually thinking of Elvira" he balances his jaw against his palm. No it doesn't make it any better. I would've that mental image not be in my mind to begin with.

"No, come with me. Now!" I hiss and he groans like an irate child, standing up and following me out to the forest.

It doesn't really occur to me what I'm about to do through all of the blind rage and entitlement.

When I can finally see the demonic duo in my peripheral I shove Per into tree trunk hard enough for him to trip and fall on his ass with a yelp that the only way they couldve not heard is if they're deaf.

"You look like a maniac Øystein what the fuck are you doing?" He whispers fearfully, his big blue eyes dilating as I grab him by the throat.

"Shut the fuck up Per this is for the greater good!" I say through clenched teeth, I realize that my cheeks hurt from the crazy-ass smile I've been pulling.

Whatever he's about to say I cut off by twisting his head and forcing my mouth onto his, making sure that by the angle Varg and Gylve can see exactly what we're doing.

I shouldn't call it forcing, he goes limp within two seconds; I can feel his scrunched up eyes as I rake his soft hair out of his face; pulling him up into a deeper kiss.

He holds onto my thighs for support as I press my tongue against his teeth, begging for an entrance.

Not wanting to blow my cover I can only pray that Varg has just ran away crying like a little sissy when Per opens his mouth wide, swallowing up my tongue and moans softly.

A few seconds later I decide this is just too weird even for Øystein Aarseth and I pull away, gazing down at his blushing face; his lips are swollen and glossy and he has this unsure look on his face like he doesn't believe that this is real.

I feel a little pang of remorse because it's not. 

I lean into his ear, making it look like I'm biting it as I whisper in a hoarse voice: "look slightly to your right and tell me what you see"

"Gylve and Varg, neither look too happy"

I angle my head lower

"Good"

Not a really graceful way to let Per know that this entire thing was a total lie but he takes it in stride, throwing his head to the side and brushing some of the hair off of his shoulder.

The crook of his neck smells like musk, sweat and something...peachy, almost..

I realize that I kind of like it. I can feel his pulse throb against my lips.

"You asshole" he says softly "okay, so you just broke Varg's heart and mine too; but haven't you just made everything worse now that Gylve believes that you didn't tell him you were in a gay relationship with me?"

The blood freezes over in my veins.

Oh shit.

OH FUCK.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Gylve's P.O.V:~~

My eyes almost roll out of my skull at what I'm seeing. 

I turn to Varg who was shaking, looking completely shattered and he breaks into a run further into the forest. 

“Varg!” I call after him but to no avail. 

I can't even look back at the disgusting scene and I walk away, shaking with rage. 

The fucking asshole! 

I can't believe he would do this to me, to Varg, to all of us and all this time I thought him a friend. 

Huh! Turns out, he's sneaking behind our backs with Per, playing the I'm not gay card like a pro. 

I should've beat him into a bloody pulp yesterday. 

I take out a cigarette to try and cope with all of this. 

I have no idea where did Varg run off to. I hope he'll be fine. 

I wonder if Jørn knows about Øystin's tryst with Per but I doubt it. Maybe I should out the motherfucker to everyone, make him bite his fingers with regret but poor Per. It is only him that makes me hesitate to do it. 

Curse my good nature to the depth of hell, it throws nothing but shit back at my face.

Per is delicate though and I don't want to cause him any pain. 

Fuck! This should be settled personally then. 

I will show Øystein Aarseth how low I can stoop and we'll fight this one out head to head. 

 

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

I run so fast that I end up tripping and falling on my arm. I feel the pain but it's nothing compared to the one I feel in my chest and I get up and continue to run until my lungs burn and I can hardly take a breath. 

I slide down to the floor with a moan. 

I feel like poking my eyes out after what I witnessed. 

Something wet drips down my arm and I realize it's blood. Alot of it. Great, maybe I’ll bleed to death it'd be easier to handle. 

I can't believe my stupidity. 

A sob breaks out from my insides and I don't care if the whole world hears it. 

How much pain can someone handle before going insane? 

My eyes gush like waterfalls and I heave for air through the continuous sobs. 

I want to leave, to go back home and disappear. Collect myself and pretend like nothing ever happened but I can't. 

I can't let him know that he won, that he managed to break what little I have inside.

I need to steel myself. Beat myself neat beyond recognition. 

Gods, I hate them both! 

I will destroy their world if it's the last thing I'll ever do.

 

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I walk back to the house and enter in a stride. The smell of cake hits my noise and I scrunch at it. It’s so not the time for it.

I notice Bård, Vegard and Tomas, messing around in the kitchen but I must look like a mad man because no one even tries to say a word to me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look at Ted’s face.

“What’s going on? You look like you’re about to commit a murder.”

“I might as well do.” I breathe through my teeth and look around.

“Anybody has seen Varg?” I bark and the guys around look up at me shocked but nobody had seen him.

“Okay, what did he do?” Ted asks and I clench my fists.

“Not him. It’s Øystein fucking Aarseth! I should have killed him yesterday.” I hiss and he looks at me more confused. 

He drags me into a more private place because I was probably drawing too much attention. 

“What could he possibly have done to get you in this mad state? Is it Varg related?”

“Look, I don’t know how to deal with it yet so you don’t tell a soul.” I point a finger in warning and he nods. “Good, it’s only because I trust you. Gods know you’re the only one who never gives me shit.”

“We’re old friends Gylve and we look out for each other. You can tell me anything.” He places his hand over my shoulder again and it calms me a little.

“I was walking outside with Varg and we came across Øystein and Per,” I close my eyes tightly, trying to forget the scene, “Making out.”

“What?!” Ted exclaims so loud that he draws attention back to us.

“Shush, I fucking know! Why do you think I’m so angry? Varg was next to me, he took off running. I hope he’s fine.”

“Holy hell, that’s just low man. He taunted you about Varg and all this time he’s been with Per?” Ted looks so shocked and I can’t blame him.

“Yup.”

“I can’t believe this!”

 

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

Through my walk back, I realize how far I’ve ran. It means no one heard me and that’s good.

The pain in my arm is getting worse but I don’t bring myself to even look at it.

I go inside blindly. I don’t look at anyone and head straight for the bathroom.

I take off my shirt and open the water to wash my face and clean the wound on my arm. Someone barges in on me and it’s Gylve.

“What happened to you?” He asks and closes the door behind him.

“Nothing just a scratch.”

“That doesn’t look like a scratch to me. Let me help you.” He tries to touch for me but I don’t let him.

“I can do it myself.” I yell angrily but his face only shows rage.

“Not gonna happen.” He launched at me and I moved back, pushing him away.

He grabs into my wrists and I struggle as I slam him into the door but he won’t release me.

“Goddamn it, Gylve!” I shout in pure frustration, the wound on my arm dripping to the ground as he traps me against the sink, which cuts into my lower back. 

“Stop it.” He hisses.

“You stop it asshole!” I kick at his legs and he yelps but still doesn’t release me, the fucker.

“Is this the way you’ll play it? Fucking fine!” He yells and crashes his mouth into mine.

I struggle for a moment but then I don’t. His weight against me suddenly feels comforting and I give in because why not? Nothing could fuck things up more so I might as well take what I can get.

He pulls back and pulls me with him to straighten up, finally releasing my wrists.

“Now let me look at this.” He says and inspects the wound, “What happened?”

“I fell.” 

“I’ll bandage it for you and don’t even try to say no because I won’t leave you. With the commotion we’ve already done, everyone would think I was raping you in here.”

I laugh grimly. Maybe even rape is a better endurance than this shit that I’m feeling.

“I can barely give two fucks!” I comment and he looks at me with eyes burning.

He grabs both sides of my head and gazes intensely into my eyes. I can almost feel the flames radiating off his body.

“We will make him pay. I promise.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Bård's P.O.V:~~

"Yo Bård, did I hear wrong or did Gylve just tell Ted that he caught Øystein and Per making out?" Shivers roll down my spine as Vegard's raspy whisper fills my ears.

It's the good kind of shiver, that kind that makes your toes curl and the hair on the back of your neck stand up...for like half a second, then I realize what the eff he just said and my eyes threaten to projectile vomit straight out of my skull.

.....what?

I turn to Vegard, silently begging him to tell me it's a joke, to scream "psyche!" Like they do on those shitty prank shows but he just stands there, looking as weirded out as I probably do. I turn to Tomas

"I heard it too man.."

Two years ago the thing that would've bugged me the most would've been the assumption that if he's kissing a guy then he's gotta be a fag but right now it just stings a little that he didn't tell me.

It's gotta be a joke. Gylve is either lying cause he's mad at Øystein or he saw wrong. He would've told me. Right? 

Aw man..the look on Per's face when he steps in makes him look like he just got *fucked*! His hair is a mess and he's blushing like a chick.

I can't help it, I blurt out:

"How come you didn't tell me that you and Øystein were a thing?!"

I'm pretty sure I failed at hiding the hurt but Per just gives me that look, that looks he has when he's exasperated and tired:

"Not you too! For fucks sake!" And he marches back out.

That motherfucker! Why wouldn't he tell me?! We're supposed to be friends!!

I try to follow him but Vegard grabs my arm "leave him be, whatever happened back there clearly didn't go so well"

Anger rising up in me I rip my hand away and growl "Stay out of it!" and run back into the closet like I always fucking do when shit gets tough.

Why wouldn't he tell me something like that?! We're supposed to be friends! Øystein too! That piece of shit!

This all just makes me so mad! I punch the wall before recoiling back and whimpering; clutching my fist.

Shit!

I hate myself for this, I should've just went after him but instead I'm sitting here hiding in the closet like a sad fucking mutt. I'm such a fucking coward.. 

The door opens and closes and I expect to see Tomas but instead Vegard is standing there with a concerned look on his face:

"You okay?"

"What does it look like?" I sneer. I'm being senselessly mean to him, especially since we've been on good terms these past two days but goddamn it I need to get my frustration out somehow.

"It looks like you're about to start crying like a little bitch" Vegard says dryly, sitting down in front of me and lighting up a cigarette.

"Fuck off" I say softly 

"I'm trying to be a good friend here" he chuckles, pushing hair behind his ear as he lights me one and passes it to me. I take little reluctant drags.

"Øystein just came in too and his eyes were bloodshot...we think that whatever went down went down bad" he tells me, biting his inner cheek.

"Long story short we think that there might be some...shit...between the four of them, Tomas is going to talk to them right now, we're trying to keep Varg away from it all since we keep getting the 'home wrecker' vibe from him"

All of this was making me rethink how I see Øystein and Varg, I used to think they were so cool but all of this was just so retarded I could hurl, why were they being such jerks to each other? Weren't they supposed to be friends?

"To be honest man...I just wanna go home" I sigh, I did it cause I hoped it would help me unwind, being with my friends and stuff but they're all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"Me too, this place feels like it's shrouded in darkness" Vegard says and I snort at the floweryness of his words.

We both know it's impossible though.. we have set bus tickets set for Monday morning and we don't have enough cash for new ones since the company doesn't offer refunds.

"Do you get the feeling that something really bad is gonna happen?" I ask him softly, looking up into his eyes. They're greyish-blue, and he wears a crap-ton of eyeliner that somehow looks good on him..

"Yeah, I do; glad I'm not alone there" he stubs the butt out on the floorboard and I do the same, leaning my head back and exhaling.

"You never know, today might just be the day Varg finally loses his marbles and shoots down Øystein" I snort bitterly. I could see it happening.

"Oh hey lets not forget about Per, maybe he'll become a massmurderer"

"Killed by Dead" 

He tips his head and laughs, shifting closer so our knees are knocking:

"Lets play truth or dare" 

"What are we, chicks?"

"For now, yes"

I roll my eyes "fine, you start"

"Truth or dare"

"Dare" I say instantly. Like hell I'd pick truth, truth is for pussies!

"Oh...uh...shit. Fuck if I know! Take off your shirt" he waves his hand dismissively and I twitch a little. What a weird fucking request, that's not much of a dare but whatever. I kneel up and take off my band tee, shoving it in my waist band as I sit back down.

"Truth or dare"

"Dare" he smirks and I succeed in not making things any less awkward.

"Take off your shirt" fuck..

Clearly less bugged than I am about it he just pulls it over his head and throws it aside, fixing some of his curls.

"You have your fucking nipples pierced" I gawk, staring down at his chest. What if he got the rings stuck on something?

Ouch.

"Yup, did it to celebrate turning 18" he grins "truth or dare"

"Dare"

"I dare you to eat one of the brownies"

"Deal- Truth or dare?"

"Truth" 

"How did your first kiss go?" I say, intending to sound like a valley girl but Vegard is unaffected, he deadpans:

"Never had one"

My eyes widen: "you have pierced nipples but you've never had a kiss?" How?!

"I've never had anyone I really wanted to kiss.." he said, I could tell he was lying but..whatever I guess?

"Truth or Dare Bård" his voice sounds raspier then it usually does 

"Dare" I'm sailing a sinking ship at this point..

'I dare you to fucking kiss me'

Shit why am I imagining that?

I look at Vegard expectantly, his lips are so thin I don't think you could kiss him really...

"I dare you to tell me what your tattoos mean" he prods one of his long black nails at my upper arms.

"That's not a fucking dare!" I argue

"Yes it is, I dare you to tell me" Vegard's still so close, he smells nice. Like sweat and brownies. I lean back a little:

"They don't mean anything, I just thought they looked cool" I shrug, crossing my arms over my chest.

God.. we look like such fags! he's halfway on my lap and we're part naked.

"Truth or dare" I ask hoarsly, looking up at him. 

"Truth" Vegard says again.

"What are you thinking of?"

"Hm..." he hums "brownies and how things are going between them all- you?"

Kissing you. I hear some crashes outside but I realize that the only thing I'm really thinking about is kissing Vegard..


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -We're half way through the madness, thank you for the support so far. I thought no one would be interested! Feedback is life people!
> 
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

“Let me get you some alcohol and bandages.” I say to Varg who’s expression is hard to read at the moment but he nods.

“Would you get me another shirt from my bag? The other one is bloody” 

“Sure.”

I head to the kitchen for the stuff and I encounter Øystein on my way. I glare at him and it takes all of my self-control not to jump him right here and now.

I get what I need and head for the bags but I can’t remember which one is Varg’s so I end up taking one of my own shirts.

“Gylve.” Tomas calls out to me before I get to the bathroom and I turn to him.

“What is it, Tomas?”

I wonder what he wants with me.

“We overheard you talking to Ted, not intentionally but I heard what you said.”

My blood froze. Fuck! This is bad.

“Is it true?” He asks and I don’t know what to tell him. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Umm, look, it’s long and complicated.”

“Well, I have all day.” He says and crosses his arms over his chest.

What am I supposed to do now? I guess I can’t walk around this.

“Fine,” I sigh, “I need to give these to Varg maybe then we’ll sit down the three of us and talk.”

He doesn’t look so pleased.

“Does Varg need to be with us?”

I raise my brows at him.

“And why not?”

“Well, uhh..”

I think he realizes that he touched a sensitive subject.

“It’s just that I don’t know him so well and it’d be more comfortable if it were only us.” He explains and I’m not fully convinced but I don’t want to argue with him.

“We’ll see.” I say and continue my path to the bathroom.

“What took you so long?” Varg asks the moment I walk inside but I don’t answer him, placing the stuff on the shelf.

“Give me your arm.” 

I start to clean the wound with alcohol and he flinches but doesn’t say anything then I wrap it up in bandages.

“There you go.” I hand him the shirt.

“That’s not mine.” He furrows his brow.

“It’s mine. I couldn’t remember which bag was yours.” I shrug and he nods, pulling it over his head.

I have to admit that seeing him in my shirt makes me feel happy.

We walk out of the bathroom together and there is Ted.

“Are you guys alright?” He asks. Varg and I look at each other then back at him.

“Yeah.” We both say and he gives us a strange look.

“Just thought you were murdering each other in there.” He says.

“No, don’t worry about it.” I say and he accepts it, walking away from us. “Told you we made a racket.” I tell Varg and he shrugs.

“So what?” 

I shake my head.

When we get to the living room, I see Tomas standing by the kitchen, looking at us. 

“Umm, listen, I have to talk to Tomas about something, is that okay?” I ask him and he turns to where Tomas was standing.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” 

I shrug and leave him to go talk to Tomas. This is going to be one hell of a talk and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or the worst that could possibly happen right now. 

~~Jan’s P.O.V:~~

I am sitting on the couch, observing the exchange between Varg and Gylve. 

When Gylve leaves, I call out to Varg.

“Varg,” He looks at me, “Come sit next to me.” I pat the empty space beside me and he joins me.

He looks unhappy as he crosses his arms over his chest as if in a defensive mode.

“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been yourself. Yesterday, you collapsed and today you walked into the house blindly and dripping with blood. What’s going on with you?” I ask and his expression saddens even more.

“I can’t tell you.” He sighs.

Now, I’m totally intrigued. What could possibly affect Varg Vikernes this much that he’s afraid to talk about it?

“Is it Gylve? Did he do something to you?” I’ve noticed they’ve been spending a lot of time together.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“Then what was that about in the bathroom?”

He gives me a frustrated look from under his lashes, his bottom lip almost sticking out in a pout. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act this way before and it only pokes my interest some more.

“Varg, you know you can trust me. I’m older than you and I might be able to help you with whatever you’re going through.”

“I don’t want to cause any more problems,” His eyes glisten with tears and it shocks me, “My heart can’t bear it.” He whispers. 

Wow, he’s about to cry! I feel bad for him but I’m dying to know what it’s all about. I place a hand over his shoulder in reassurance.

“It’s alright maybe you’d feel better if you talk about it.”

“I..I liked someone here.”

Well, that’s a surprise! I always took him for a homophobic but I guess people never fail to surprise you.

“Who is it?”

“If I tell you, do you promise to not tell anyone, please?” He pleads and I’m seriously confused about this new side of Varg. He almost looks innocent!

“Yes, of course. Trust me.” I assure him and he sighs.

“Okay, I liked Øystein.” He confesses and closes his eyes.

Damn, tough choice kid! He probably got rejected. How could he think it’d ever work?

“I’m sorry, Varg. He’s just not gay and you probably surprised him and all.” I try to make him feel a bit better but I notice a tear falling from his closed eyes.

Geez! I wonder if Øystein went too harsh on him. Poor kid.

“That’s not why he rejected me.” He says and opens his leaking eyes, looking at me, and now I’m beyond confused.

“What do you mean?”

“He loves Per.” He says and my jaw hits the ground.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I worry he’s completely lost it and turned delusional.

“I saw them making out right in front of my eyes.” He says and buries his face in his hands.

I’m horrified.

Completely and utterly horrified! This must be a terrible joke. It can’t be! Øystein and Per, together! Like a couple? Kissing?!

How could they not have told me! How could I have not noticed? This is the most unexpected thing in the world.

Varg clutches into my arm and I pull him into a half-hug subconsciously. It must suck for him big time.

“Please, don’t tell them anything, please. I can’t handle any more pain.” He grabs my shirt for emphasis and I rub his back soothingly.

“Don’t worry about it.” I lie because of course, I will mention it but I will try to keep him out of it.

He’s already dealing with a heartache no need to rub salt on the wound, although most people don’t feel comfortable around him, I never had a problem with him really. 

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I get up to wash my face and smile at my reflection in the mirror in the bathroom.

Well, what’s showing some human weakness in public for a greater purpose.

Jan took the bait like I exactly wanted him to. He believes I’m the weaker link and he won’t let Øystein kill me so that’s a point for me. It’d be hard to separate him from the group but I will try my best as long as I get him to believe how badly destroyed I am.

If I have to show a weak side of myself in order to hurt the one who caused me pain then I’ll gladly do it and fuck everything else.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

"V-Vegard! Shit!" I have him driven up the wall before I know it. He doesn't even try to stop me, he just lets me undo his pants and shove him harder into the corner.

It's the way he looks at me. With those wistful brown eyes. They're so much different then Tomas's, Tomas's are a crisp, clear grey that you could get lost in whilst Bård's are a mediocre brown. No honey, no green or hazel, just flat brown and it drives me fucking nuts.

He tries to hold onto my jaw to pull me closer but I grab his wrists and pin them over his head.

I don't want him to touch me. I can't have him touch me. If he's letting me do it then he can't touch me because I don't want to sell my soul for someone who'll only disappoint me when push comes to fucking shove.

I'm not sure if he's crying because he doesn't want me to do it or because it hurts or because of something else entirely.

"Get off of me!" He wheezes out suddenly, thrashing against me.

"Why?" I hiss.

"I-I.." he gasps and I grab his jaw to force him to look at me.

"I what?" I don't care if everyone else thinks things are moving too fast. I do whatever the fuck I want.

"I quit the band, I don't wanna do this anymore" I shove him harder into the wall 

"Calm the fuck down Bård what's wrong with you?!" I hiss "why the fuck do you want to quit!?"

"Because Vegard, the only thing these last few days have shown me is how immature this all is! Tell me you're not thinking about Tomas, tell me that you really want to be fucking *me* and not him"

He tries to shove me off:

"How fucking dumb are you?!" I growl 

"Dumb enough that I haven't screamed rape yet" he whimpers, looking at me with horrified eyes. It makes my heart hurt.

"Jesus Christ, if it were two days ago then yeah I'd be thinking of him but..now I'm just thinking about you"

"Cause I'm a rebound" Bård laughs bitterly, wiping snot off with the back of his hand.

"Shut up! It's cause I like you, why do you think I've always payed attention to you?"

"Fuck off with the 'I've always loved you bullshit'" he hisses and there's the Bård I know and love to hate.

"Mmm no, not like that" I whisper, leaning my forehead against his "the Japanese have Koi No Yokan, Americans have Love-At-First-Sight I guess I have I'll-love-to-hate-you-and-then-I'll-just-love-you"

"You're a really cheesy-ass fucker, Vegard" he sniffles.

I cover his mouth with mine, savouring the taste. I push into him again, this time he relaxes against me; I let his fingers tangle up in my hair as I pull him close, melting into his warmth as he nuzzles his face into my shoulder.

"I love your hair" he whispers hoarsely staring transfixed as he weaves my curls between his fingers.

"Maybe I should cut it off then, see how much you like me after that" my words disappear into a groan as I feel myself get closer and closer.

"No! Don't do that it's so pretty and unique" his voice sounds breathy and weak I feel his heart fluttering in his chest in synch with mine.

It's so warm; like I'm burning alive. His skin is soft against mine and he's so lovely. I can't believe I ever hated him.

In desperation I grab his head and kiss him again, loving the sound of his quick sharp breaths as he gets closer and closer and oh fuck fuck fuck-

"Hey guys, so me and Gylve are going to talk if you two- WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I swear that somewhere Jesus was crying.

~~Tomas's P.O.V:~~

You know, it's the kind of stuff you think only happens in poorly written erotica, but if that were the case me and Gylve would've been jumping into the pit with the both of them.

My eyes almost bulge out of my skull; although I always thought that they had a thing going on I thought that this would happen....y'know...Not in a closet in Mayhems cabin after Vegard broke Bård's nose.

"Uh... I think we should have a band meeting about this later...toodle-ooh" I say softly, shutting the door as Gylve stares at me with an unhinged jaw:

"D-did..are they?"

"Y-yeah!" I laugh incredulously "they..came out of the closet you could say! Never mind that Gylve..you and I, we need to talk" I grab his hand. I don't care if Varg sees me do this, Gylve is my friend too and I can hold his hand if I want.

Pulling him into the forest I say, deciding to spare him the bullshit:

"Look, I get a really bad feeling about Varg"

His hand instantly rips out of my grasp

"Not you too!"

"Look, Øystein's a maniac. I'm not denying that at all, he's batshit crazy believe me we *know* but you can't let whatever's between you and Varg, be it friendship, or as I'm coming to accept that a lot of you have something more between each other, you can't let it cloud your judgement; whatever Øystein did he probably didn't mean for it to hurt anyone, especially not you, he'd take a bullet for you Gylve" 

Wow, I'm really rambling aren't I? I take a deep breath 

"I don't think Varg wants to hurt anyone too, at least not inherently, although I'm guessing that Varg and Øystein are going head to head here but Gylve, Gylve!" 

I grab his hand

"if you're not going to try to make things better then please don't do anything at all because all of us are starting to get real scared, Øystein walked in looking like he was about to cry, Per ran away, Varg has a nasty gash on his arm and we just found the second half of Emperor going at it like rabbits in the closet" I almost laugh at that last bit, even though all of this makes me want to cry.

"What he did was unforgivable!" Gylve hisses, wrenching his hand away again.

"Not telling you that he and Per had something between them?" I choke back laughter 

"Gylve what did I just walk in on? I walked in on two of my best friends having *sex* when a day and a half ago I drove one of them to the ER because he got his nose busted by the other; maybe Øystein wasn't ready to tell you"

Looking at me hard Gylve muttered out, clearly not ready to let go of whatever pain he was carrying: "he told Varg I liked him"

Ahhh..so there really is something with those two.

Well, it seems like an awful catty thing to do to your friend, at least on purpose that is. It seems relatively easy to me: "have you asked him why he did it? For all you know it could've came out by accident"

I guess that I'm of the breed that things don't have to be so hard, and that most conflicts can be solved by asking each other by we did what we did.

If anything id say ninety percent of this mess was avoidable.

He looks at me, and I hope that's apprehension I see in his eyes.

"Gylve, you're an amazing guy; and you're way too smart for this crap" I put my hand on his shoulder and he doesn't flinch away this time. 

"Ask Øystein next time you can get him alone, as stupid as he can be sometimes it's also why we love him; it's why *you* love him; he's stupid, he's harebrained and idealistic but his heart is in the right place and you *know* that; please don't help him and Varg turn against each other, they were good friends too you know" 

Now he just looks sad, I let go off his shoulder, nodding at me as he turns around and walks off. 

I shake my head, leaning against the tree trunk. I think back to my girlfriend and her soothing voice and small hands. 

I miss her like crazy. I miss her curling up against me whenever I'm worried..maybe I should call her, I called her last night already but I'm sure it'd make her happy if I called tonight too.

"If it makes you feel better there's nothing between us.." I hear Bård's hoarse from behind me, I turn around and I see him, his face worried as a cigarette hangs from his lip; he has a fleece wrapped around him.

"I would feel better if there was since I've always figured you liked him!" I chuckle as he leans against the tree trunk.

"That was embarrassing, I'm sorry" he whispers, hanging his head so hat his long back hair obscures his face.

"Don't be, lord knows you've caught me with my girl plenty of times!" It's true, he's always been cool about it so I'm cool about this now that the initial shock value has worn off!

They're my friends and I love them, even if I could've happily lived the rest of my life without seeing that.

"Don't tell me you rejected him" I say softly and he nods, blowing out a stream of smoke as we gaze into the distance, it's the hour before complete nightfall. It's always been my favourite time since you can see the fireflies light up the air.

"Why? Clearly he likes you if he's willing to stick it in you" I snort at the idea

"Tomas I don't know if you've noticed that he-"

"Likes me? Yeah, I have" I shrug. So what? It doesn't change how I feel about him, if anything the fact that he's always been more jealous of Bård then my own girlfriend was funny to me. Best friend Olympics I guess you can say.

"Bård, I'm straight, I figured out that some of you lot aren't but it doesn't change that I am; he's been my best friend for years, if I was capable of reciprocating his feelings for me..I would've by now, and trust me sometimes I wish I could because it kills to know that for the past six years that he's...." my voice falters. Damn.

I don't know what to say. Vegard's amazing, he's been here for six years and I can't imagine my life with him, he's beautiful, funny, intelligent, to me his existence is a breath of fresh air and there's no one I'd rather hang out with than him. I love him. I truely do but...not too unlike I love Bård, or my mother, or Øystein even.

I love my girlfriend for everything that he isn't, and arguably, everything he is too, she's funny and intelligent too, she has a wicked sense of humour and I love that she isn't squirmish about gore or black metal; but I also love everything that makes her a woman, her soft voice, skin, breasts. Everything.

I think in hindsight it's all pretty simple

"At the end of the day, I can't give something that's not there; I will never want him like that, I can't create something out of nothing; you can give him that though, and I'm glad that he's finally moving on so please, if you like him as much as I think you do then don't reject him"

"Tomas it freaks me out too much " he murmurs, hugging his arms close to himself.

"I know it does, just tell him how you feel and have him tell you how he feels and you two can see what to do from there" 

why do I have to tell everyone this? Pulling him into my arms I hold him right 

"it'll be alright man, trust me" 

I feel him sniffle against my shoulder; I never knew he cried so easily to be honest. I guess he just never showed us that side of him, but since we never really have any personal space maybe there's just nowhere to hide anymore. 

Now that we never get left alone, we all have to see one other for who we truely are...the cynical side of me wonders if that's why everything is going to shit.

He pulls away from me with a shakey breath, I look up at him with a wonky smile:

"Onwards brave knight!" And he laughs, turning around and jogging back to the cabin.

I lean back against the oak tree. Damn. I really do miss her.

~~Bård's P.O.V:~~

The first thing that happens when I step back into the cabin is Gylve telling me "he's in Øystein's bedroom" 

"T-thanks" I say nervously, he's curled up on the couch, watching TV next to Jan who smiles understandedly at me, wow..I guess everyone knows now..

Whatever Tomas said to Gylve it looks like it hit close to home because he looks like he's really thinking hard about it. I want to say something but I have other things on my mind. I rush towards Øystein's bedroom and thank god the doors unlocked.

I step in nervously, my heart catching in my throat; he's lying there staring at the ceiling with a troubled look, smoking a cigarette.

It takes him a second to notice me:

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Hey" I say softly, trying to smile but it probably looks like a fugly grimace as I kick off my boots and lock the door before walking over to the bed, lying down next to him as I stare up at the popcorn ceiling. 

He stays silent, blowing smoke rings.

"I'm sorry for saying it was a mistake, I didn't really mean it" I murmur, looking over at him; my face is probably as red as a tomato but I don't fucking care.

"It's alright if you think it was, it was all so sudden" Vegard shrugs 

I turn towards him.

"I don't, I've liked you for a while now, since we first met" I admit even though I feel like a total pussy.

"I've..always noticed you" Vegard repeats and I laugh 

"The fuck does that mean?"

He faces me: "exactly what I said back there, there isn't any better way to describe it. You felt good to hate, I liked watching you to find out how else you'd fucking piss me off and I got off on it when you did"

"You should hate me now more then ever man.. we all hate each other now"

"Our true colours come out when there isn't anywhere else to hide" he smiles, his eyeliner is smudged, it looks so pretty even like this.

"I guess I'm...pretty on the inside?" I offer with a grin.

"Lay off the Hole" Vegard's chuckles and damn...we're almost cuddling.

"Dunno, I used to hate how..gooey you are but looking at you now it's the best damn thing"

His eyes are hazy, I think I could stare at them forever. Still. I can't help but laugh!

"Gooey?"

"You're like honey, so fucking sweet; I can't get enough" and he kisses me again, I throw my arms around his neck. Fuck. It feels so good!

"Promise me we'll go out when we get back home?" I ask with a pout.

"I'll take you to a fancy dinner and everything" he chuckles, pecking my lips before resting his forehead against mine.

"I was hoping we could watch one of those alien slasher films and fuck but okay" 

"Gory Alien Films and Sex sounds better to me" He nuzzles his nose into mine and I sigh happily.

We kiss again and slowly I feel things heating up more and more; his tongue in the back of my throat as he moans hoarsely and I roll on top of him...

~~Per’s P.O.V:~~

"To mirror what you said yesterday 'are you crying Aarseth'" I say mockingly, sitting down with two cups of tea as his shoulders tremble. His forehead is buried in his knees as I knock shoulders with him. 

I hate him for what he did..using me like that. I thought he wanted me for a half a second but it turned out I was just a pawn in his shitty game of chess yet...feelings aren't so easy to get rid off, and Its been ages since I've seen him cry like this and I won't let him cry alone.

That's love, isn't it?

"I'll put a temporary pause on my anger towards you, just treat me like you would any other friend"

"What do you want me to say?" Øystein whispers weakly "I fucked up"

"Well that's a given!" I snort "drink your tea it'll calm your nerves"

He shoots me a glare before bringing the mug up to his lips with trembling fingers.

"I told you so by the way" I say 

"What do you mean?"

"Remember? I told you that this was a bad idea. I told you so"

"Shut the fuck up" he mumbles, looking a little bit more like Øystein Aarseth to me as I stretch my legs out.

"You know, I never thought you could manage to screw things up so badly when your intention was to fix things"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions Perra what did you expect from me? A decent human being?" Øystein laughs hollowly. I hate how much I want to pull him close and tell him everything's going to be okay.

"You're not a bad person; you're just incredibly dumb"

"Then why do you like me Perra?" He turns to me, looking less challenging and more curious as I shrug. Even now my heart is beating hard in my chest at our proximity.

"You're...you. For someone so small you have such a big personality; you're so passionate and so.....you. You're you, there's no one else, there's no other Øystein Aarseth and that's why I love you" I blush, scratching the back of my head "I guess it kind of started with when you didn't shoot me because I thought you would..."

"To be honest...I thought I'd do it too..it was like..why not, right? You were barely alive, you didn't even look like a person to me, I didn't like you back then but I was like...I can shoot him, I can't shoot Per so.. so I called an ambulance; but I always wonder why I didn't do it, why I care so much about you, to be honest; if there's no other Øystein Aarseth, then there's definitely no other Per Yngve Ohlin" he says with a hollow laugh; and if misplaced worry is the best I'll ever get then I guess I'm alright with that.

Looking out into the trees he says:

"Gylve hates me now"

"He'll get over it" I shrug 

"Do you hate me?" He asks vulnerable.

"Not really. It felt good while it lasted so thanks for the memory" I try not to sound bitter but fuck I wish that he was kissing me because he wanted me not because he wanted to piss Varg off. Blergh. I hate him.

"I..I'm so sorry" Øystein's expression made him look broken, I've never seen him like this.

"It's alright" I mumble, my ears heating up as I replay it in my head again.

He sighs deeply, leaning back as I feel his hand enclose over mine, his fingers lacing into mine as he sits there calmly.

You know...I've always thought that whoever could make Øystein Aarseth’s mind stop racing even for just a little bit is probably the person who he should give himself to.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I walk back to the living room and there’s Gylve sitting next to Jan. He must be done with whatever Tomas wanted.

I walk towards them and lay both my hands on Gylve’s shoulder from behind. He looks up at me and smiles half way without it reaching his eyes.

Wow, Tomas must have said something awful.

I catch Jan’s eye and he smiles sympathetically at me. I wonder if he knows what’s up with Gylve. Well, fuck it.

“Can I talk to you?” I ask and Gylve nods slightly standing up.

We walk outside for a while in silence.

“So, what’s eating you up?” I give him a side-glance and he sighs, his gaze directed at the ground.

“I’ve been thinking.” He says and stops in his place.

“About?”

“What we’re doing with the whole Øystein thing.” He sighs again and I don’t like where this is heading.

“And?”

“This shouldn’t be the way to go about it.” He crosses his arms over his chest and my jaw drops.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me.” He says harshly and I’m confused as to what changed his mind so quickly.

“How could you say that after all he’d done?” 

“Look, you’re more sensitive about it because it involves your feelings and I get that but he did nothing wrong in not telling me about Per and in all honesty if he hadn’t told you that I like you, you probably wouldn’t have ever noticed.” His tone is defensive and I grimace.

“You fucking promised.” I say through clenched teeth, “You promised that you’d help me get back at him and now you back down! What did Tomas say that made you turn your back on me?”

“He said what should’ve been said and he has point. I’m not turning my back on you but I believe we can solve this in a more civilized way instead of terrifying everyone and keeping them on the edge because someone might end up dead.” He explains but I can’t get it through.

“Yeah, go ahead add to the wound. Leave me as well.” I say sarcastically and his expression softens.

“It’s not what I mean, Varg. I’m not going anywhere just trying to make things better.” 

“For him or for me?” My voice cracks with rushing emotions and he looks frustrated.

“For everyone.” He says and I nod.

“He fucking destroyed me and you claim it’d make things better for me?”

“Don’t be like that, Varg.” He sighs looking at me pleadingly but no I won’t let this happen.

“Like what? Hurt? Well, I’m sorry I have feelings! You all liked me better when I was a cold jerk because that’s the only way you lot know how to communicate. With hate.” I accuse everyone and he looks taken aback.

“It has been nothing short of amazing to witness you feel. It upsets me that most of it is in pain but it only made me like you more.” He steps towards me, taking my face with both hands, “You are capable of emotion Varg Vikernes and that’s my greatest joy.”

I almost break right here and now. No one had ever said anything this nice to me before and I hug him tightly.

“Don’t turn your back on me.” I plead into his shoulder and he tightens his hold.

“Don’t worry. I never will.” 

 

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~ 

I leave Varg to take a walk alone because he needs it and I sigh. I’m trapped in the middle and have no idea what to do.

I find Ted on the table outside and I sit next to him.

“You don’t look too happy. Did you guys fight?”

“No, no, we’re fine. It’s the Øystein deal. He’s very hurt and insists on revenge but Tomas had talked to me earlier and he made me see things differently. It isn’t fair to do this to Øystein without giving him the chance to explain. He fucked up but we all do, right?” I ask and he nods.

“I agree. I understand your situation but I told you yesterday that it wasn’t right to hit him. I thought you guys would have solved it by now but Varg’s the one that’s making it complicated.”

“I don’t know why all of you don’t like him. The guy is hurting badly and all you do is attack him.” I’m seriously annoyed at that.

“Hey, I’m looking out for you. I don’t know what the others think and let’s face it he doesn’t exactly give off the best impression.” He says and I snort.

“Yeah, I guess so. Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“I assume Varg is the ‘hard’ place.” He raises his eyebrows at me and my mouth hangs open.

“You shit!” I push him out of his chair and he falls to the floor laughing.

“What? It makes perfect sense. Not that I’d know but still.” He laughs again and my cheeks heat up but I join the laughter nevertheless.

“I hate you right now!”

“No, you don’t and it might be a good way to soften him up a little. He might let go of some of that tension.” He grins wickedly and I stare at him in disbelief.

“Are you implying…?”

“Duh! You usually catch on quick.”

“Fucker.” The heat on my face intensifies and I punch him playfully.

“That’s a solution,” He shrugs, “Bang him until he forgets who the hell Øystein is and wouldn’t care less if you patch things up.”

“Gee, thanks for the help.” I say dryly.

“It does make sense. You just don’t wanna admit it.” He challenges and I grit my teeth.

The fucker like the thought doesn’t appeal to me but fuck it’ll only make stuff more complicated and I don’t think Varg is in a good shape for it right now.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~ 

I can see Gylve and Ted from where I’m standing, laughing at something and it strikes me that I hadn’t seen him laugh in a while. I like his laugh and the way it just bursts out and make you feel instantly better.

I’m being hard on him, clinging to him like a life force admits the wreckage that is my life and he tolerates me and stands by my side despite it all.

I have to admit that it irked me when I saw how Tomas took his hand into his own. I wanted to tell Tomas not to touch him that this person is meant for me and only me.

It’s time to do something about all of this. I made a few decisions on my walk and it’s time to act.

I might be the weaker link in this whole ordeal but why not be the better link. Give everybody something good to remember me with. Something that would contradict me and by chance I’ll get lucky. 

I look around and notice Per and Øystein, sitting together and I approach them slowly.

I think Ted and Gylve notice me heading their way because they both stand up fast but I have an intent.

Per stands up in my face as if he’s trying to shield Øystein from me.

“What do you want?” He hisses and I roll my eyes.

“Move out of the way. I want to talk to Øystein.”

“Let me hear what he has to say.” Øystein’s voice sounds and Per backs down.

I notice from the corner of my eye how the guys have started to gather at the scene probably too afraid that we’d end up killing each other.

“I think we should put our differences aside. My feelings were misplaced and I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble,” His face is so shocked I almost laugh, “If Per makes you happy then it’s none of my business. Congratulations to you both. I crushed on you and now I don’t and it’s not fair to bring everyone else into it so let’s just forget it and move on.” 

His mouth opens a couple of times but I think he’s too shocked so I just turn away from him, crushing whatever’s left inside of me. 

I notice how everyone’s eyes were almost bulging out of their skulls and I walk towards Gylve who’s probably most shocked after what I said earlier.

I get to him and take his hand in my own.

“Since everyone are gathered here. Me and Gylve have something to tell you.” I say loudly to turn everybody’s attention on me and Gylve looks so confused, “We’re together.”

I don’t pay attention to the other’s reaction because my eyes are fixated on him. He masks his shock quickly and kisses me gently on the lips.

“We need to talk.” He whispers in my ear as we start to get a few wolf whistles and backslaps.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I’m dying to know what suddenly came over Varg to do this and we finally get some time for ourselves after the ‘announcement’. 

“What is this all about?” I ask and he smiles at me.

“Just what it is. I thought about what you said well and decided to end the feud myself. This way nobody needs to get more hurt.”

It’s still very shocking to see this coming out of Varg but I guess he always comes to his senses in the end.

“And what about us?” I need to know the answer to this one.

“I realized that I like you too Gylve, you’re the kindest most compassionate person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and I want to give us a chance because I’d be very stupid not to.” He looks deeply into my eyes and I still can’t believe that this is happening.

“But why did you announce it like that?” I might have sounded a bit harsh because his face expression suddenly changes.

“If you don’t want to be with me. I’ll tell everyone that it was a joke.” He looks at the ground and I realize what he’s implying.

“What? No! Of course I want to be with you. It’s what I always wanted. You just caught me completely off guard and I didn’t expect you to say it in front of everyone.” 

“This way we’ll be more comfortable dealing with each other. We don’t have to hide away. We can do whatever we like in front of anyone and no one can say a thing about it.” His eyes glint and I’m overjoyed.

I grab him by the shirt and pull him towards me, kissing his full lips deeply.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

"Well... at least no ones paying attention to us, huh?" Bård says, looking into the cabin. I tighten my arms around his waist and hum.

Something about all of this feels wrong to me, so I tell him, nuzzling my cheek into his neck:

"Tell me that you don't get the feeling something's not quite right"

"Hmm.." Bård pretends to think, leaning back into my embrace and looking at me:

"Whom would I be if I was optimistic about this all?"

"Not Bård Eithun that's for sure" I smirk and he reached over my head to slap me gently, harrumphing as I chuckle.

Tomas comes in with two cups of coffee. "What're you two talking about?"

"Wedding plans" I joke, receiving another gentle smack on the underside of my head as Bård says:

"The legitimacy of everything that just happened in there" taking one of the cup of coffee.

"Glad I'm not the only one then" Tomas murmurs, looking over his shoulder before sitting down next to us. I almost consider letting him off of my leg for decency before it occurs to me that I've already lost any sense of it earlier today.

Whatever. Shyly I rub my nose into Bård's sideburns "I feel like such a dick; we keep assuming he's plotting something"

"Do you know Varg as anything other then a plotter?" Bård asks, trying to keep the giggle inside; I can tell it tickles.

"Whatever the case you guys..I just hope whatever's goings on between him and Gylve that they're both very happy together" Tomas says softly with a worried expression.

I return his look before announcing: "let's try to keep ourselves out of this"

"I second that" Tomas nods firmly 

"I don't know about you guys but I had no plans of doing such a thing to begin with" Bård says smugly, snuggling closer into me as I sigh. A firefly lands on his arm.

"Consider that a pact between the band, whatever they do is their business; Emperor keeps to itself, everyone in favour say aye"

"Aye"

"Aye~" 

In the shadows of one of the bedroom windows I can see Varg and Gylve making out ...I can't help but wonder just what the hell must be going through that mind of Varg's.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

I'm lying on Per's bed. What a time it is to be alive!

"See why you don't make such rash decisions?" He snaps at me, stripping off his shirt to try and look for something else to wear.

"How was I supposed to know he'd put me AND himself out like that out there?" I say, still in shock as what happened earlier replays itself in my head.

"It's *Varg* Øystein"

"Me and Gylve are together" I mimic "has everyone collectively lost their minds?" 

He's pulling a baggy t shirt with the Swedish flag in it, throwing another crumpled t shirt at me 

"Seems so, have you heard that Bård and Vegard are somewhat of a couple now as well?"

My jaw drops. He broke his nose only two days ago!

"what kind a sick fantasy world are we living in, what's next?! Jørn breaks up with Brit to and runs away Mexico with Jan?!"

"I sure hope not!" Per grimaces, pulling on his pyjama bottoms and sitting on the bed. 

"Am I seriously sleeping here?" I ask, palming around the t shirt he gave me

"Well..if the world thinks we're a couple we might as well act like one, plus I think my bedroom is the only place sacred right now"

It's true. No one would dare enter Per's bedroom. 

I'm too worn out to argue, so instead I just push off my pants and exchange my shirt for the one Pers offering me. It's white with the superman logo on it. 

I cringe.

He stands up and locks the door before peeling apart the blankets. I realize for the first time that he's actually been sleeping regularly nowadays...

"How's your cold?" I ask blankly as I slip underneath them.

"I feel alright" Per shrugs, following my lead. Awkwardly I stare at the ceiling, phantom shapes fluttering along the darkness as I sigh, turning around and gnawing on my lip.

I feel Per turning around as well: "are you worried?"

"No shit Sherlock"

"Fuck off Watson- shall I hold you?"

Hold me? What am I? Nine?

"Do whatever you want" I huff And he throws an arm over my shoulders.

"Well....Don't give me that much freedom" he taunts and I feel my cheeks grow hot. What the fuck? Why is he flirting with me like this?

Damn..I'm too sleepy for this crap.

Yawning I close my eyes and hold on limply to his wrists as I let sleep claim me...there's definitely going to be a lot to deal with it tomorrow morning.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

We’re kissing, his tongue in my mouth, one hand on my waist the other on my face while mine are in his hair and on his back. Both of our shirts are gone and we’re stumbling around until we fall on the bed.

He crawls on top of me and our lips lock again. His hand trail down my side and just when he’s about to feel me, I panic.

I push him away and stand up quickly. Fuck, I can’t do this. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his face a mask of confusion.

I can’t even answer him. I swallow and look at the ground, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Are you scared?” His tone is playful but he probably knows.

I’m fucking terrified! Yes, I had a crush on Øystein but I had come to terms with my sexuality when I realized that I liked him. So, I have no past experience with a man and definitely not anything sexual.

“S-s-scared, me? Nooo.” I even sound scared. Pathetic!

He gets up from the bed and takes my hand pulling to sit down again. He places his hand on my face and looks at me warmly.

“Look, hun, if you’re not ready for this then we won’t do it. I want you to be completely comfortable.” 

I rub my cheek on his hand and close my eyes. I feel emotionally drained and frankly, I just want to sleep.

He pulls my head towards his chest and runs his hand in my hair.

“Tonight, I just want you to hold me.” I don’t even know where this is coming from but the past two days were just too much.

“I’ll hold you tonight and every night.” He says softly and it sounds like the best thing ever.

I can’t believe I took him for granted because the closer we get the harder it becomes for me to imagine how we’ll be separated when I go back home. 

I kiss him gently then he takes my hand and kisses it. 

“This is the best thing that had ever happened to me. You have no idea for how I long I waited for this to happen.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you sooner. We could’ve both avoided the heartache.” I do really think that we would have.

“What matters now is that we’re together.” He smiles at me, “Come on, hun, time for you to sleep. You had a long day.” 

I felt that he’s treating me like a child but I don’t want to argue with him and just go with it.

I bury myself under the covers and he lays next to me. I inch towards him and he wraps me in his arms.

“Goodnight.” I whisper.

“Goodnight.” He kisses my forehead.

I never knew how good it’d feel to have someone who cares so much and I drift into sleep happily.

Gylve’s POV:

I sigh deeply. I’ve been trying to sleep for over an hour but my libido doesn’t seem to want to leave me. I’m bummed that Varg isn’t ready but I guess my nether part didn’t get the message.

Varg’s head is on my shoulder, his warm breath is in a direct contact with my neck, and it’s making things worse.

Gods, I’ve been dreaming about having him ever since I first laid eyes on him and now he’s in my arms and if sleep is all he wants so mote it be. 

I still have a problem though and I should probably solve it myself. I try to dislodge myself from Varg slowly without waking him and manage to stand up but before I get to the door I hear a rustle and the light is on. Fuck!

“Gylve, where are you going?” He asks sleepily.

“Ah, I..couldn’t sleep.” I blurt as I turn around, trying my best to hide my erection.

“Is there something wrong?”

Fuck, I don’t want to lie to him but this is all plain awkward.

“Umm, well, I’m horny and I couldn’t sleep so I’m going to the bathroom to you know.” I really want to disappear.

He stares at me for a moment then bursts out laughing and I’m sure that I’m blushing like a tomato.

“Ok.” He finally says and I hate myself.

“I won’t be long.” I avoid his eyes and turn around to leave the room.

Arms wrap around my chest from behind and stop me though and Varg’s head is in the crook of my neck.

“Don’t go. Stay with me.”

Is this confirmation? Hell fucking yes! If I can I’d perform a victory dance instead I turn around and push him back on the bed. This is finally happening!

I lower myself on top of him and kiss his lips then move down to his neck.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I didn’t expect this turn of events but I didn’t want him to deal with it alone. I have to face this sooner or later and we might not get another chance in a while so fuck it.

I feel the heat rising in my body as I’m sprawled naked on the bed and he engulfs me in his mouth.

My eyes roll to the back of my skull. It feels so good. This is better than any other girl I’ve ever had and I tangle my hand in his hair.

My heart is beating fast and I’m panting.

“I want you to not be afraid and to completely relax.” Gylve states and kisses me.

I nod and he turns me into my stomach. Fuck, this is actually happening! 

I feel so exposed and I’m nervous. I can still back down I guess but I’m not a coward and that’s the thing that makes me hold on. Pride.

I feel something wet on my hole and I jump a little and look back at him.

“Just relax.” He smiles and rubs his hand on the small of my back.

Easy for you to say! 

I try my best to relax when his fingers start to play with me but he pushes one inside and I grit my teeth. It feels uncomfortable and it burns. It gets better when he moves it though and soon it doesn’t feel so bad.

I cry out involuntarily at the second finger.

“Shhh. Sorry if I hurt you.” He kisses the back of my head.

“Just came out of me.” I breathed as his fingers moved.

“It’s okay.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

I lay Varg on his side after I make sure that I loosened him enough. Sadly, pain is inevitable since it’s his first time but I can’t wait to sink inside his tightness and claim myself as his first.

I settle behind him and kiss his neck to help him relax. I rub myself in between his cheeks to give him a feel of what’s to come.

I turn his face towards mine and kiss him. I can still see fear in his eyes but I believe it’s natural. He probably never thought that he’d find himself in this situation and I understand.

“Are you ready, baby?” He gives me a look at the pet name and sighs.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” I feel his body shaking with either fear or nerves but we need to get through this.

I nudge just the head inside and he clenches around me. I know that sliding in one go would make it easier on both of us so I push in all the way and muffle his scream with my hand. He grabs my wrist and I tell him to breath. I kiss his neck to calm him down.

“Relax and it won’t hurt. I promise it’d get better just trust me. I won’t hurt you.”

He seems convinced because he finally starts to relax and it gets better for both of us.

I move very slowly and take him into my other hand to pleasure him over the pain.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

Damn it hurts like I hell and I wonder why I got myself into this in the first place.

My senses are torn between pain and pleasure but he hits something inside me and I am introduced to the wonders of the prostate. I can’t help but cry out and he hushes me again with his hand. 

“Told you it’d feel better.”

“Yeah! Do that again.” 

He complies and I’m taken into new heights with every thrust. Soon I forget about the pain and enjoy it.

I try the best I can to keep my noises down or else we’d wake everyone up and he breaths into my ear, praising me and I never felt anything like this before. All of these pleasurable feelings make me lose control.

I spill myself over the sheets and a part of me marvels that I just came over Øystein’s sheets.

He keeps driving into me but I’m so sensitive and I want him to stop. I whine and put a hand on his moving hips.

“Just a little longer, baby.” He pants and moves faster.

I feel the moment he twitches and fills me up then collapses behind me still inside.

“I hope you enjoyed it. I promise it gets better the more you do it.” 

“It’s your turn next time.” I retort and he laughs, getting it out of me.

“I need a shower.” 

“Go then, I’ll go after.”

“Okay.” He says and kisses my hair.

Damn! Well, here’s a new experience to add to the list. I did enjoy it despite the pain and I probably made Gylve the happiest man on earth so that counts for something as well.

This is nowhere near how I had imagined my first time would go down but I think this is much better!

When Gylve comes back, I get up and have a hot shower to relax my sore muscles.

I wrap a towel around my waist and head to my bag to get some clean clothes. On my way back to the room I find Øystein coming back from the kitchen with a bottle of water and I smirk at him.

“Goodnight.” I say and disappear into his room. 

Haha! I just had sex on his bed. 

Serves him right.

“What are you smiling at?” Gylve asks from where he’s sitting on the bed, smoking a cigarette.

“The fact that we just had sex on Øystein’s bed.” I smile and his eyes widen for a moment.

“Fuck!” He bursts out laughing.

“Do you have any idea how much I love your laugh?” I had to point that out to him and his eyes shine.

“Come here.”

“As soon as I dress.” I say while pulling on some clean underwear.

“Fuck it. I’ll keep you warm.” He offers and I can’t refuse. 

I crawl back into the bed and wince when I sit down.

“Are you sore?”

“Yup and it’s all your fault.”

“Well, I did just snatch your cherry so..” 

“Dick.” I push him playfully and he laughs.

“Seriously though, did you like it?” He asks serious again.

“Yeah, it was good.”

He smiles at me and pulls me down to lay on the bed.

“Crawl in here and let me keep you warm.” He opens his arms.

I dive into his open arms and lay me head on his chest with a satisfactory smile on my face. This is more than what I could’ve ever hoped for.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

I shut the door behind me with a scowl.

"Hmmm?" Per mumbles, waking up from the bang. He rubs his face with his palm before eyeing me strangely.

"Guess what Varg and Gylve are doing in my room?" I hiss at him as I sit on the edge of the bed. Per turns to his side, face to my back:

"Fucking?"

"I think so" I scoff, uncapping the water bottle and taking a swig; I pass it back to him in case he wants some.

This is really weird, it kind of feels like we really *are* a couple now.

Per merely hums, staring up at me with his blue eyes illuminated by the sparks of light coming from the window.

"Don't think 'bout it now, it's late" he drawls sleepily, his fingers winding over the pillowcase as I grimace:

"Since when do you sleep at night?"

"Since nowadays I guess" Per shrugs, moving over as I slip back between the sheets, marvelling at how warm and soft they are..

It doesnt take much before I'm sleeping again.. when I wake up I wake up with Per's body half on top of mine, his cheek nestled against my shoulder as his hair fans out for my chest.

I grunt, sleepily trying to push him away onto to have him whine and hold me closer.

"Morning..." he moans, his sharp chin cutting into my collarbones.

"Morning to you too Perra" I say dryly; trying to shift away as I feel his steady breathing over my neck.

Today's the last day, after today everyone finally fucks off and hopefully pretends like none of this has happened, I suppose I can pretend like me and Per broke up but in all honesty shit feels irreparable. 

"Get off, I want breakfast" I whisper, nudging him off of me as we finally disconnect. He's drooled all over me. 

He sits up, hair all mussed up and I think that if he goes out like this everyone's definitely going to get the wrong idea over what happened last night.

Pulling on my pants I cringe at the idea of having to face Varg and Gylve who've no doubt purposely made sure to jizz all over my bedsheets.

"How the hell is it that everyone's paired up?" I mutter to him beneath my breath as we leave the bedroom to get something to eat

"Your guess is as good as mine" Per whispers back, gazing at scene. Gylve and Varg are huddled up on one couch, looking like characters out of a hallmark movie who end all their phone calls with "no you hang up first" and to a minor, far less exuberant degree Vegard and Bård are there too and Bård is halfway on his lap, complaining about something on the news.

I guess I don't really have much of a choice now that Per is my pseudo-boyfriend; grabbing a box of Müesli and milk we sit at the counter and I silently hear the cross for my sins.

"Øystein I'm going to need to talk to you later" Jørn suddenly says, standing over us with an irate look on his face.

It's a blessing and a curse! Jørn looks down at us like he knows we're full of shit and I feel the oddest sensation of relief and cold fear.

Per nudges my foot with a snort, I look up to see Varg and Gylve making out right at the couch and I think that the only things could get any stranger is if someone here ends up a serial killer or if pigs start to fly.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

It feels good to be out in the open in front of everybody’s faces. I smile widely when Gylve and I break the kiss. 

It’s not only us I guess, I learned about Bård and Vegard this morning when Gylve pointed it out. I guess I was too caught up in my own head the last two days that I haven’t even noticed. And of course, there’s Per and Øystein whom I outed but I don’t even feel a pang of remorse for it.

Who would have thought that this weekend would end with couples flying around left and right? It’s funny how things change drastically in so little time.

“I’m gonna make coffee, want some?” Gylve asks and I nod. He pecks my lips and goes to the kitchen.

I notice that Vegard had also gotten up for some reason and Bård was sitting alone. I inch close to the side where he’s at.

“So you and Vegard, huh?” I smirk and he looks at me surprised.

“Yeah.”

“Always thought you had a better taste.” I tease him and he glares at me.

“Always thought Gylve had a better taste.”

Ouch! I guess I deserve it.

“Didn’t he like break your nose two days ago?” I crook an eyebrow at him.

“Your point?”

“Nothing, just weird how things change so quickly.” I say innocently and he looks at me suspicious.

“What are you playing at?” He hisses.

“Nothing at all. We should like go on a double date or some shit, might be fun.” 

“Yeah, we’ll see.” He says and goes back to watching TV.

I slide back to my own corner. Well, that was fun. Nothing better than provoking someone. 

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

Per and Øystein are sitting at the counter and I remember that I haven’t had the time to make things right yet.

“Good morning.” I greet them both with a smile hoping they’ll take it as a peace offering.

I indulge myself in making coffee when someone steps next to me. I look up to see Vegard.

“Mind if you make me some since you’re already doing it?” He asks and I nod.

“Sure, no problem.” 

“You and Varg seem pretty good, hope you’re happy together.” He crosses his arms and leans back.

“We are, thanks. Hope things work out great for you and Bård, as well.” This was a bit awkward but I guess he’s just trying to be nice.

“Thanks.” He smiles at me and I return it. 

I pour the coffee, hand him a mug and we go back to the living room together. I hand one to Varg who looks up at me expectantly.

“Thanks.” He smiles and I settle next to him.

“Vegard is being quite nice.” I say in a low tone so he could only hear.

“Is that so?” He looks surprised and I shrug.

“He kinda like congratulated us or something.” I sip from my hot coffee, giving them a look over the rim.

“Funny, I always felt like he doesn’t like me.” Varg says and I shrug again.

Somebody taps my shoulder and I look up to see Ted’s not so amused face. I understand that he wants to talk to me.

“Where are you going?” Varg holds into my arm when I move to get up.

“Just gonna talk to Ted.”

He gives Ted a look over my shoulder and nods, letting go of my arm. I feel bad for leaving him alone he doesn’t look pleased so I’ll try and finish with Ted quickly.

“What’s up?” I ask as we make it outside.

“I should ask you! What the hell happened yesterday? One minute you were telling me that you’re stuck in place, the next Varg is declaring your relationship to the world. What did I miss?” He furrows his brows.

“I don’t know what to tell you. He kinda surprised me as well.” I can’t really lie to Ted he’d know in a heartbeat.

“Is that really the best way to start a relationship. I mean what the hell?” His frown deepens and I look away.

“Look, it’s complicated and fucked up. Can’t you just be happy for us?”

“I just don’t want this to end up as a big game from Varg, that’s all.”

“It’s not.” I glare at him.

“How do you know? Hell, you seem like a love sick fool!” He retorts and it’s starting to piss me off.

“I understand your concern but trust me he’s not playing a game.” 

“And how can you be so sure?” 

“Because we slept together last night and he let me be his first.” I whisper and his jaw almost falls to the ground.

“Oh, I see!” His expression turnes to surprise, “Well, I’m happy as long as you’re happy.” He sighs then hugs me close.

I pat his back then go back to Varg who looks a bit sullen. 

“Hey, you ok?” I remove some hair out of his face and sit down.

“What did Ted want?” His face’s in a pout and this isn’t near the answer I expected.

“Nothing, just asking how things are and such.” I say confused and he nods still pouting.

Did I do something that bothered him but I can’t think of anything.

“You sure you’re ok?” I have to make sure and he gives me a side-glance. 

“Yeah.”

I still don’t really understand but it’s probably a weird Varg mood or a complex Varg riddle.

“Did I do something?” 

“Maybe you can ask Ted about it.” He bites and moves a bit away from me.

Can this really be what it seems to be? Is Varg jealous from Ted? I feel like laughing at the matter but I just managed to get Varg Vikernes jealous without even trying. This can’t get any better.

“Come here, idiot.” I wrap an arm around him and bring him closer, “I’m done with Ted for now. Wanna be with you.” He seems to relax at that and I believe there’s a goofy smile painted upon my face.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

This is a really odd method of getting to know someone: hating them, breaking their nose, fucking them, jumping into a relationship with them and only then preceding the entire 'getting-to-know-you' process but...hey, I don't know if I could have it any other way.

We just had to get away from the rest of them.

"Why the fuck would you congratulate him?" Bård scowls as I play with his fingers, we're sitting by the river and his head is resting on my shoulder.

"I felt bad that he walked in on us..y'know" I chuckle.

"So? We had to witness them swap spit!" He snorts, nudging me with his shoulder.

"Not the same!" I say, flicking his forehead.

Bård pouts hitting my foot with his as he sighs, stealing a sip of my coffee.

"Varg's so annoying, since we got here he's been a total shitface! Talking to me about dating you after you broke my nose when he's been oogling Øystein for months but suddenly decides to date Gylve!" Bård sniffs.

For the most part I've managed to avoid thinking about Bård's clearly-still-busted-up nose even though it happened a mere two days ago. 

I tap the little cast over his nose gently: "he's right y'know"

"You didn't mean it!" Bård instantly defends, biting his inner cheek.

"We all do things we regret somethings...I regret punching you to begin with" 

I feel ghost-like caresses over my bruise "Yet I deserved it" I say earnestly

"You're being sappy again" Bård mocks, mimicking my tone.

I roll my eyes and bring him near, feeling his heartbeat flutter against mine.

Like I said: I wouldn't have it any other way.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

It seems as though Jørn just couldn't keep the verbal diarrhoea in.

"Okay, cut the bullshit and stop playing around there's no way the four of you have actually paired off" he snaps, banging his palm on the table as Varg and Gylve look at him in what seems to be sincere shock -although knowing Varg it's probably faker than Pam An's tits-

"What are you fucking talking about?" Varg asks pointedly.

"Vegard and Bård I could believe" he points at the two of them, who're cuddling together as they talk to Tomas who looks like he's on cloud 9 "but you and Gylve much less you and Pelle; Øystein you must think I was born yesterday"

For the grace of Satan looks like Varg as well can't keep the flaming word-shit in either because he pipes up again:

"Shut the fuck up, we kissed how many times in front of you guys so far? Dontcha think that's going too far for a little game you retard?"

Ooh Varg's getting defensive! I was hoping Jørn would run off with his tail between both legs but instead his fury gets angled at me and Per:

"But you two... you two. We've been living together for almost seven years and you expect me to believe that you two are actually a couple? I know I've joked about it but...Jesus Christ!"

Oh boy, this is it; either I can admit it's all a joke, or he can throw me under the bus and let the tires grind my reputation into bloody mush.

If I was him I would do it, Jørn is a good friend, Jørn'll be pissed, Jørn can keep a secret too but- I'd do it, I'd do it.

We're not all as good people as Per Yngve Ohlin alas:

"I'm sorry we haven't told you earlier" he says in a single breath, with so much fake sympathy it scares the living crap out of me "he and I...we really love each other, don't we?"

His fingers curl into my palm as he raises my hand and kisses my knuckles.

"Y-yeah..we really do" I affirm breathlessly, mostly because I've never met anyone as good at seeing through shit as Jørn is, and obviously I'm fucking full of it.

"Okay cut the crap guys, seriously" Jørn shakes his head as Jan puts his hand on his shoulders.

"It's okay man" way to make him feel sane.

I feel for him. It feels like absolute madness on my end too.

"No! Really, we do, right Perra?" My smile looks nervous. Doesn't it? Jørn opens his mouth to speak again, looking as though his brain is starting to break down as Per cups my cheeks. From the corner of my eyes I can see Varg getting increasingly more and more pissed off.

He's really living for this shit isn't he? Sadistic little freak...

Bård looks a little hurt too and now i just wish I would have thought things through before I bit off this much.

Per should've just thrown me out under the bus. I deserve it. I'm not worth this.

I hate how I can tell everything he's thinking just by a glance into his eyes:

It's fine, we can just explain when this is all over and he'll laugh, right?

I think he understands me too:

Yeah..sure...

I'm not as nuanced as Pelle is, unfortunately; but I think this is why we were friends at first, all those years ago, he really knows how to put on a damn good show.

I'm not too sure how fake it is on Per's end, his lips are moving softly against mine like he's trying to make this feel good. It's a game, so of course I thread my fingers through his hair and tilt his head so that he can kiss me deeper. His body subtly pressed against mine and I can tell he likes it.

I don't hate it either.

No one seems too surprised except Jørn, I can't help but wonder what I'm missing but...he pulls away, kissing me softly again on his way back with a smile and I hope that whilst making a total mockery out of myself I've managed to at the very least piss off Varg just a little bit more.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I feel a deep stab of pain right along my anger!

I want to knock Jørn’s teeth off and I want to smash Øystein and Per’s heads together.

I clench my teeth and fists. 

Gylve gives me an odd look.

‘We really love each other.’ Per’s sentence echoes in my head and it makes me sick to the stomach.

I get up and stomp outside, glaring at Jørn for the heck of it.

I take in a couple of breathes. This isn’t supposed to bother me this much but it does. It does because despite that I have Gylve I would never understand why Øystein cold fall for someone like Per but not for someone like me. He will always be the first man that I’ve crushed on and admired.

“Varg?”

I turn around and see Gylve with a grim expression upon his face.

“I needed some air.” I lie and look away from him.

“Yeah, Jørn pissed me off too but he isn’t why you got up, is he?” He crosses his arms over his chest in expectation.

I chew on my lips then huff. What I’m supposed to say now, he’ll figure it out anyway.

“No, it’s not.”

“Will this ever end?” He frowns.

“What do you mean?” I act dump and he glares at me.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m taking about Øystein!” He hisses.

“I don’t fucking know!” I shout having reached my limits, “It’s not like I control it and how I wish that I do but I fucking don’t! Deal with it.”

He stands there with wide eyes.

“Maybe this is a bad idea after all.” He indicates our relationship. 

“Maybe it is.” I retort and he turns around and marches back to the cabin.

Fucking great! This is exactly what I needed. I feel like screaming my lungs out and punching someone real hard.

I encounter Per alone outside and I march right towards him.

“I have no idea what he sees in you, you shit excuse of a human being. I would’ve killed you if I were the one who found you. Maybe the world would’ve been a better place.” I hiss and don’t even wait for his reaction.

This is all I can take! I’ve reached my limits and then some. 

I start to gather my things that were outside. I want to leave this place even if I’ll have to sleep on the street in wait of tomorrow. 

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

Gods, I can’t even believe Varg! I’m so mad at him right now. When will this end?

I wanted to make things right with Øystein but I just can’t bear the thought of dealing with him with the way Varg’s acting. Dammit!

I throw myself back on the couch and light a cigarette. This whole thing is getting ridiculous.

I see Vegard and Bård laughing about something and I envy them. It seems like they managed to work things out so well. 

Per walks inside with a murderous look about him and is probably looking for Øystein.

Jan settles next to me out of nowhere and I jump startled.

“What was that about?” He asks and I sigh.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Is it Øystein related?” He crooks an eyebrow and I just nod, “Look, Varg looks like he’s ready to bolt. You might want to stop him.” 

I shoot up in a second.

“What did you say?” 

“You heard me. By the way, it’s exactly what they want. Don’t let him walk out like this.” He says and I nod frantically.

I find Varg collecting his things and I march to him in a stride, grabbing him by the arm.

“Don’t!” He yells and wrings his arm out of my grasp.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I hiss and he glares at me.

“Walking away from this shit.” He spits.

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you, at least not like this.” I try to reason with him but he ignores me and goes on throwing his things in the bag.

“Varg!” I grab him by the arm again and pull him into a hug. He struggles against for a moment then relents. “Listen, if you walk out now, you’ll give them the satisfaction of destroying you.” 

“I don’t think I really care at this point. I just want to get out of here.” He sighs against my neck.

I lean back and stare into his eyes.

“You were never a quitter, Varg. Then, it’s little time that we have left. Tomorrow you’ll be leaving and I won’t see you in a while.” I take a different approach and something changes in his demeanor. 

“I..I didn’t mean what I said about this being a mistake.” He looks down to the ground and I smile gently.

“Me neither. Let us get through this day, together.” I lace our fingers together and he sighs deeply.

“I’m only doing this for you.” 

“It’s more than I can ask for.” We smile at each other and just for a few minutes, everything feels redeemable.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

"When this is all over feel free to never speak to me ever again; get out, I want to be alone" Per says in one gasping breath as his bedroom door swings open. 

I'm sitting on the floor going through some of his tapes; the tormented look on his face scares the shit out of me and instead of doing the smart thing and jumping ship I stammer out:

"D-did somethi-"

"Get out" he hisses, his head dipping to cover his face.

Aw shit. I can't leave like that.

"No, if we're in a fake relationship the-"

"That's exactly the fucking problem Øystein! It's fake! And it's still brought me nothing but misery!"

Quickly I walk past him to close the door, probably convinced that I'm about to bolt because he looks so dissapointed when I'm still standing there.

With a grunt he throws himself onto his bed, curling up into a little trembling ball as I ponder what the hell do I do now?! 

I do the only thing I can do: I climb onto the bed and throw my arm around him:

"Tell me what's wrong Pelle" I plead softly. I can't have him cutting here..I can't have another shit show like the one back in '91 where Kjetil and Jon and Gylve had to subdue him because he was so hell bent on killing him self.

"everything" he whispers, his voice sounds wet, I pull him closer to me and bury my nose into his shoulder.

"Go on"

He flips towards me with tears rolling down his cheeks:

"If you have to know then Varg just pretty much told me I'm better off dead and that had he discovered me he would've just shot me; but it's not just that, of course, because everyone believes you and I are together but.. you don't want to be with me, and I..I like you, so much, you don't even understand"

Varg said that? That's low, even for him..

Instinctively my fingers brush damp blonde hair out of the way:

"I know you do, I..."

I stop dead in my tracks.. what? I what?

The look on his face is pure betrayal and suddenly, without warning I'm pinned to the bed with Per looming over me.

"You don't get it do you?"

"Get what?" I whisper defensively, his tears hit my forehead.

"I'm thinking about you fucking me Øystein, I'm thinking about you pushing me down and making me yours"

I feel my cheeks heat up:

"What the fuck?..." I say weakly 

"We're in the same bed together, we slept in the same bed, it's normal, no? I thought about having sex with you then too about your hands on my body and the way you'd feel inside of me..." he trails off before looking me over again.

"You know I never noticed just how tiny you are"

I should be flattered but right now I only want to use it against him:

"Then you've never really noticed me because it's quite glaring if you ask me"

"You always seem so big..you're so loud"

I wish he wouldn't look at me like that, it's kind of weird. I don't think I'm worth the adoration or lust or anything like that since I'm the douchebag who got us into this mess to begin with but...holy shit the way he's looking at me.

"I'm thinking about it right now too, fuck...you..you have no idea the things you do to me"

His fingers trail up my stomach and I say the first thing that comes to mind:

"I bet it would feel so good inside of you"

He jumps away like I've burned him, curling back into a fetal position as he lets out a weak whimper. Unsure of what to do, I just lie back down next to him and try not to overthink things too much.

~~Pers P.O.V:~~

"That came out weird, huh?" No shit Sherlock..

I bite my lip at the feelings inside of me. I'm horny because of what he just said, I'm upset because of what Varg said, I want a hole to open up from the centre of the earth and swallow me now!

"Pelle" he whines, except with how deep his voice is it sounds more like a groan.

"Perraaaa" fuck you I hate that nickname!

Øystein climbs on top of me in a really sloppy fashion, I feel my face heating up even more

"I'll kill Varg for saying that to you, I'll skin him alive, I fucking swear!"

Him saying that just makes me cry harder. Stop acting like you like me when really you don't! I'm not an idiot, the only reason why I'm okay with this fake relationship bullcrap is because I hate the idea of being part of the reason people are laughing at him. And knowing Øystein it's almost too easy to laugh at him. I don't have any hope.

C'est la fucking vie.

"Don't..." I whisper, trying to avoid his glare but his forehead is hitting mine; he smells like coffee and aftershave.. it's..strangely addictive. It reminds me of being a child again..before everything went wrong that is.

"I'm serious; I will fucking ruin him, I'll rip his guts right out of his asshole, I'll make him wish he was dead"

"That's going a little-"

"Shut the fuck up! Who does that piece of shit think he is?!" Øystein growls, still hovering over me. It's times like these where my mind conjures fantasies that yes..Øystein is that dumb and he just doesn't realize he loves me and-and..shit.

I'm such a retard.

"Don't say things like that" I sound far less hurt then I really am. Øystein doesn't know how much I break myself for him.

"Why not, hmm? It's true; fuck Varg, he deserves to die for saying that" he's even closer; I feel the heat off of his body. I can't see anything out of blurs of skin and black hair. His fingers are brushing at my jaw. This is a recipe for heartbreak.

"Tell me to do it and I will, Perra, just say the word and I-I'll fucking make sure it hurts"

"Fine" I say flippantly, pushing him away from me "I'd like to see you try"

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

"Stop pouting" I whisper into Bård ear, pinching his cheek as he swats me away.

"No!" He whispers back "he won't even look at me!"

I groan before snuggling closer into him, desperate for my new boyfriends love and affection as he sits on the edge of the sofa with crossed arms.

"Båååårddd" I whine, wrapping my arms around his shoulder and gluing myself to him 

"It's no big deal he was probably just afraid you'd reject him"

And by the looks of it Per still is; his eyes look like theyre about to fall out of his skull, his body is bent at an awkward angle underneath Øystein's arm.

Bård grunts again, melting into me a little bit more.

"So...21 questions?" I say enticingly, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Fuck off with the 21 questions!" He hisses before chortling.

"Shut up- Favourite desert?" I ask

"Hate sweets. Eurgh!" He cringes, letting me gather him in my arms, I nuzzle into his neck. He always smells of something vaguely sweet. Ironically.

"You?"

"You." I joke before thinking for a second "American cheesecake I guess"

"That's so unlike you! Favourite soft drink?" His jaw drops. Yeah. I don't know why. I like anything with cream cheese to be honest.

"Coke; and now you see the point of this; you?"

"Jizz" 

I try not to giggle too loudly and he smirks 

"Favourite animal? No flirtatious answers this time"

"Capybara"

"What the fuck is a capybara?" My eyes widen 

"It's looks a beaver except much cooler" Bård shrugs "I got a book on them when I was like 10 so whenever people ask I say 'capybara'"

"I like cats"

"That's so unlike you!" Bård says again

"And now you see the value in playing 21 questions!" I point out, pulling him into my arms as he tips his head back in laughter. 

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

"He's pissed at me!" Per whines into my neck as he sneaks glances at Vegard and Bård.

They're canoodling on the couch, giggling like teen girls; Vegard tries grabbing at him as Bård teasingly wrenches out of his grasp. 

I can't think of anything more sickening right now except for maybe Varg's mug.

"Of course he's pissed at you he thinks you didn't tell him you were in a relationship with me" I snort, tightening my grip around him.

"Why should I tell him who I'm in a relationship with?!" Per hisses 

"Because you're 'besties', fuck if I know" I shrug "it's Bård fucking Eithun we're talking about here the guys a complete mystery"

"What the fuck are you two whispering about!" Bård finally breaks the silence between them as if on cue, I feel Per tense up against me.

"Our plans of world domination! Mind your own bitching business" I say trying not to sound completely serious.

"Who the fuck uses 'bitching' anymore?! Me and Vegard will get there before you so nyehhh" He mocks, chortling as I roll my eyes:

"There wasn't a you and Vegard a two days ago! The combined power of me and P-"

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up" Per hisses, clasping his hand around my mouth, his face bright red.

...did I just succeed in publically embarrassing my fake-boyfriend?

"You're embarrassing him!" Bård laughs, clutching at his gut. He really does sound like a fucking hyena...

Tomas comes to their couch with a bowl of chips.

"What's up with you guys?"

"Øystein's embarrassing Per" Vegard says, watching lovingly as Bård sticks his hand into the bowl and crams a fistful of greasy chips into his mouth, nodding vigorously as he almost chokes to death.

Couple of the year ladies and gents.

I turn my gaze back on Per who's looking at me with what I think is a pout but I don't really know.

I blink at him to get off of me in morse code and he pushes me down slightly before shakily removing his hand and laying down on my chest, biting his inner cheek.

I play around with his hair, feeling his breath against my skin. 

It's not not nice, he's actually sort of.. cute? Like this.

"This is hardly revenge, he's not pissing his pants and crying for his mommy" Per whispers against my jaw. Never mind I take it back. Not cute!

"Patience..patience" I hum; although looking at them both neither look too happy.

"Mm" he groans and I wonder what he's thinking of until I remember out little exchange earlier. 

Shit. He's probably thinking about fucking me!

He traces crosses on my inner wrist as I sigh, pulling him up by the chin.

"This might be a little overplayed but..." 

He breaks me off by pressing a kiss to me. Blushing profusely when he pulls away.

Hardly anyone notices, hell they cared more about Gylve and Varg making out then they do us. How is no one surprised?

"It's over played as shit but you can keep doing it" Pelle shrugs. I laugh. Real smooth Ohlin.

"Is he crying yet?" He asks and I subtly look past his hair

"Not yet but he doesnt look too happy" I chuckle, this is actually really silly in hindsight but... at least Per looks pleased. Oh..wait he's kissing me. Right.

"Get a room you two!" Jon cries from behind the counter

"When did you get here?!" I gawk at him, pushing Per off of me slightly.

"When did you find love?! Goddamnit Øystein! We were supposed to get a ranch in Butt-Sex Colarado and shoot chickens and grow weed for a living you piece of fucking shit!" Jon shouts before doubling over in laughter at his own joke.

"Since your mother!" Per retorts sticking his tongue out "he's mine now so fuck off!"

"Yeah! I've replaced you with Dead over here!" I say between my laughter 

"Replaced by a Dead guy! Oh my heart!" Jon cries out, placing a hand over his chest as Per climbs even more over my lap, flipping him off and kissing me again.

I smile into it.

"Quite the home wrecker, aren't I?" He rubs away some of my tears with the sleeve of his sweater

"Uh-huh" looking over my shoulder I can see Varg glaring at me.

"Bottoms up" I say, threading my fingers through his hair and kissing him hard on the mouth; pushing him back slightly so that I'm the one on top of him.

I can feel his fingers trembling at my shoulders as he parts his lips. 

I pull at his hair slightly and swallow up the squeak.

Jesus Christ, I can literally feel his blush on my skin. I can tell he's getting a little out of breath but sadly I don't know how to tell him to breathe through his nose without actually breaking the kiss so...I guess he'll just have to deal with it.

"Can't you two chose somewhere fucking private to do this? Y'know, like normal people?" Varg finally snaps at us; slowly, I pull away, something in me twisting up as I do.

I can barely hear what he's saying though, I'm thinking too much about doing it again and again and again.

"Who cares Varg? Let them do their own thing" Gylve says, sounding like he wants to go on a shooting spree.

Wiping his mouth I notice Per trying not to laugh. I hope it's not just a game for him now, because I'm on his lap and I'm hard as fuck and this really doesn't look like fun anymore.

Gylve doesn't seem so happy either, and it dawns onto me that I'm hurting him too....aw fuck I'm a really bad person aren't I?


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

It bothers me so much to see Øystein and Per like this. I try to keep it to myself but I just can't handle it and I snap. 

Gylve retorts and I look at him. He looks pissed and I immediately feel bad. 

I don't want to hurt him but I'm in pain myself. 

I give him a guilty look and he sighs. He takes my hand and drags me outside. 

“Are you okay?” He says as we walk into the forest, our hands entwined. 

“I'm sorry, Gylve. I don't want to hurt you.”

“I know but I guess we can't help it right now. Øystein is being a dick though.” He says and I stop in my tracks. He turns to face me with a worried look. 

“I may have said something that I shouldn't have.”

He frowns and lets go of my hand to light a cigarette. 

“What did you do?” He blows out smoke and I sigh. 

“I said some shit to Per after you and I fought earlier.” I look away because I know he's going to be upset. 

“Dammit Varg! Per is not one to bother like that.” He hisses and shakes his head. 

“It's not like we're friends. We've always hated each other.” I cross my arms defending my stance and he gives me a pointed look. 

“Either ways he's not as stable as the rest of us no wonder why Øystein is being a dick!” 

“I'm not going to apologize or feel bad about it if that's what you're implying.” I huff. 

“Whatever. What happened happened.” He sighs and throws his cigarette, stepping on it. “Come on.” He says and extends his hand for me to take. 

I take it and we start walking again in silence for a while just enjoying each other’s company. 

~~Gylve's P.O.V:~~

Knowing Øystein I can tell that what Varg had done may have bad consequence and in truth I can't blame him but I also can't let him hurt us any further. 

I won't stand aside in silence and watch him as he tries to hurt us. 

There's really only one way to deal with this. 

I clench my fingers between those of Varg's and give him a smile because despite all the drama, I'm still happy to be here with him. 

We head back to the cabin together after a good while of walking around. 

I look around for Øystein but I can't spot him neither do I see Per. I wonder where they must be. 

“I'll be back, yeah?” I say to Varg and he frowns. 

“Where to?” 

“To the bathroom.” I feel bad about lying but I have to do this. Varg nods and goes to sit on the couch next to Vegard and Bård. 

I head to Per's room and knock on the door. 

“Go away.” I hear his voice from inside. 

“Per it's me, open up if Øystein is there.” 

I hear some shuffling and a couple of mumbles then the door opens. Per looks messy and maybe this wasn't the perfect time. 

I stand by the door and see Øystein inside, sitting on the bed. 

“I'm here to say a couple things then I'll leave you.” I say and they both look at me expectantly. 

I turn to Per first. 

“I know Varg said some shit to you but he said them out of anger and pain. I know you'd understand how that works so I'm sorry on behalf of him. I will try to make sure that he doesn't bother you anymore.” I say and they both look at me with wide eyes. 

They probably didn't expect me to show up and say this. Øystein opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off, looking straight at him. 

“As for you, what you've done is already enough and here I stand. I swear to all the Gods if you think about laying a finger on him, I won't hesitate to kill you. Let us spend the rest of the day in peace. We've all had enough.” I threaten and he doesn't look too happy about it but it seemed like the best way to put an end to all the bullshit. 

“When all of this is over and through we'll sit down and talk about it. I've been meaning to make things better between us but shit keeps getting in the way.” I add and he nods. 

I leave them be and head back to the living room and to an amused looking Varg. 

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

I settle next to Vegard and Bård who were asking each other stupid questions and giggling about it. 

“You know this is very lame right?” I quip and they stop laughing and glare at me. 

“What's it to you?” Bård asks and I smile. 

“Nothing of course, I just find it funny.”

“And your opinion matters because?” Vegard speaks up this time and I feel like bursting into laughter. 

“It doesn't. Just a friendly comment.” I bite my lower lip to suppress my amusement. 

I think annoying these two is my new favorite hobby. 

“Maybe you should stop butting into other people's business and let everyone do what they want.” Bård bites probably referring to the earlier incident with Øystein and Per. 

I still find it amusing though much more than bothersome. 

“Whatever man, no need to get your undies in a twist unless they already are.” It's criminal how much I need to laugh as they both look like they're ready to kill me. 

Vegard opens his mouth to say something but closes it when arms wrap around my neck from behind and I look up to see Gylve hovering above me. 

“What are you talking about?” He asks. 

“Just some teasing between friends, right guys?” I ask daring them to say no but they just nod and I notice Tomas hovering a bit behind them, glaring at me. 

I think he really dislikes me but I couldn't care less. 

“Come with me.” Gylve says in a low voice and releases me so I can get up. 

We end up in Øystein's room again. 

“What's up?” I ask as he shuts the door. 

“Nothing,” He stands in front of me, “Just wanted to do this.” He closes his lips over mine and I smile into the kiss, my hand coming up to cup his face. 

One of his arms wraps around my waist as he pushes me back into the wall and his tongue invades my mouth. 

I wound my own arm around him and we stumble to the bed in a mess of limbs. 

I break the kiss to catch a breath and we stare at each other breathing hard. 

He moves my hair out of his face and plays with it. 

“I will miss you when you leave tomorrow.” He sighs and something clenches inside of me. 

“Don't worry, I'll come back soon.” I touch the side of his face and lean down for another kiss. 

Our tongues battle and entwine, as the kiss grows deeper still. 

“Very soon.” I pant when we break apart and he smiles brightly. 

“I sure as hell hope so.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

I'm on a bed. 

Per's on a bed. 

We're on a motherfucking bed and we're making out and it's not just for the fucking show.

Nice going Aarseth, you created a brand new monster! 

After the makeout session that failed to make Varg cry but managed to make me severely question my morality, Pelle disappeared into his room; after some time, for seemingly no fucking reason at all I got bored and decided to ask Per to entertain me. Show me his comic books. Something. Anything!

We ended up trying to write some material for Mayhem but it got boring to me too and after some point, god knows why; Per ended up on my lap with his tongue in the back of my throat.

It's worse than how sappy I got about avenging his honour and way way worse than my impromptu comment on how good it might feel to be balls deep in his ass.

Why are we on a bed is an excellent question, and one I don't have the answer to, my mind blanked out until about the point where I am now, smothering his face in the pillows to block out his moans.

I'm vaguely aware that Per's dick is in my fist and it's leaking pre-cum all over his sheets.

"Oh fuck oh fuck..." he whispers like a prayer as I bite his shoulder hard.

"More!" He pleads

More? What's that supposed to fucking mean? I take it as 'faster' watching in wonder as Pelle cries out. There's something almost surrealistic in what we're doing...

I'm not me, he's not Per. Jesus...

"Øystein!" Pelle whines desperately, holding onto my bicep.

"Hm?" I whisper, I want to beg him to stop me, I've thought about it enough and something in me doesn't want to stop and whatever it is it's way stronger than logic.

"Fuck... I'm gonna..oohh fuck..I'm gonna cum" 

My knee-jerk reaction is to twist his head towards me and kiss him passionately. Shit, I want to see him cum; there's just something so damn hot to me in seeing him like this. 

"Cum for me" I demand, sounding more like I finished doing a marathon than a sex god but Pelle doesn't seem to mind, crushing his face into the pillow to muffle the screams as he cums all over my hand and the bed.

Turning him on his back so that I can kiss his sweaty skin, he writhes under me, pulling me close and mewling.

"Well..that just happened" I say shakily, lying against him.

"Don't talk, you'll ruin the moment" Per grumbles, closing his eyes.

Because it feels like the right thing to do I press kisses into his temple, watching him sigh and wrap his arms around me, groaning as he nuzzles his face into my chest.

I can't help but think how sweet he is like this and how much I like this.

How much I like him.

"Pelle I..."

"You're gonna ruin the moment" 

"Pelle I think I might like you too" it dawns on me, like a freight train.

"You're just horny Øystein" I can feel his eyes roll

"N-no really!" Shut up Aarseth, shut up before you create a mountain out of a molehill!

It would make sense. Right? Why I can't leave him alone?

"Look, I get it; we just...we went a little bit too far and now you're trying to make sense of it. Nothing happened, forget about it, 'kay?"

I'm about to open my mouth to speak but there's a knock on the door that interrupts my thoughts.

Per's P.O.V

Gylve's presence is almost a miracle, until he leaves...that is. I want to beg him to stay.

"Why are you arguing about this with me...?" Øystein asks sadly, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Because it's stupid" I shrug; I don't want to be telling him this but if anyone else was in my place I believe they'd do that same.

Someone like Øystein.. they tend to over analyze everything. He thinks he likes me now but in a week from now he'll be panicking about how big of a mistake he made in jumping into it with me.

It's better to just see it as it really is, as much as it kills me, he got lost in the show, felt like seeing what a guy was like. That's it.

He's giving me that gutted look of his, and I hate him for it.

"I thought you'd be flattered"

Is he out of his fucking mind?!

"Three years I've loved you and I'm supposed to believe you fall for me in three days?" I hiss.

I hate him. I hate him. I wish I didn't love him.

"Maybe I've felt this way this entire time! I don't know! Ever since '86 when I heard that demo of yours I couldnt get you out of my mind, you piss me off so much, you're crazy and you stabbed me and-"

"You're short circuiting again" I say bleakly. I'm alright now. I tried killing my self in 1991, it's 1994 now, where has he been for the past three years?!

Knowing Øystein..probably stuck somewhere inside of his head.

"Pelle I..."

"Please don't, I'm already hurting" I say simply 

"I'm going to go get lunch, come out when you want" and I shut the door behind me.

A few years ago the word lunch would never have even been included in my vocabulary...

I wonder if people can tell just by looking at me, they always seemed to be able to.

Fishing through the kitchen, I feel my shoulder being poked:

"You hungry?" It's Bård, he looks a little sheepish, like he doesn't know if he should be talking to me.

"Yeah.." I nod, nervous myself 

"There's extra, help yourself" he juts his head towards the pan

"Oh..thanks" I grab myself a plate, thinking that our conversation is over when he pipes up:

"Wanna eat lunch together, just the two of us?"

"Sure, yeah" I nod, I expected him to still be mad at me but it looks like he's okay now; all smiles and rainbows. It's what Bård's made out of!

"Just a sec" he holds up a finger before going over to Vegard and telling him what was going on. He looks at Bård, and then at me and then has this weird unsure expression before shrugging.

"Now he knows!" 

I want to tell Bård that really he doesn't have to tell Vegard every little detail of what he's doing but I think..what the hell, better let them work out the kinks of their relationship, right?

"How's things going between you two?" I ask softly to make sure he can't question me about my nonexistent one with Øystein.

"Good, I'm pretty fucking surprised it's going so well but..yknow..I'm happy!" He smiles wide before cringing, clutching the cast over his nose mumbling "owe"

"Is your nose okay?" I frown, the skin around his cheeks is still a little bit purple 

"It's alright" Bård says, taking a bite of his food "I can't really taste anything though so that sucks"

I could imagine; I find eating really pleasurable; and whoever made this is a good cook.

"Who made lunch then?"

"Oh, I did!"

I tell him he's a good cook and he laughs, saying something about how when he was younger he had to cook for himself, especially when his parents divorced.

I've always said that it's good how talkative Bård is. I don't like to talk.

I still feel pretty miserable; my entire body feels Øystein. I want to accept what he was saying, I want to believe him but I just don't. I can't.

"Hey 'Stein!" Bård chirps

I feel him wrap his arms around me, holding me tight. I could tell it was him with my eyes closed just by the way my skin lights on fire whenever he's around... I wonder if this will ever end..


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're fast approaching the finish line. Thanks to everyone who keeps checking on this.
> 
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

You know when there's a defining moment, in which you realize the impact of a certain something on your being? I think I'n having one now. 

Looking into Gylve's kind eyes, I realize that I value this person and that he makes me feel things I never thought I would feel. 

It's surreal like a movie or something and I struggle to believe it but I definitely feel it. 

It would be foolish to let someone like that go but my emotions have been all over the place these past couple of days. I believe I'll get them all sorted when I'm back home but the least I can do now is enjoy the moment. 

“Where are you?” Gylve breaks me out of my stupor and I smile at him. 

“Just thinking.”

He pulls his pack of smokes out and offers me one. I take it and he lights it for me. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Us.” 

“And?” He blows out a cloud and I mimic him. 

“I'm happy.” I give him a look and his face brightens. 

“I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.” He places his hand over mine and I lace our fingers. 

“This has been one hell of a crazy weekend but I want you to know that no matter the inner struggles I'm glad this happened.”

He leans in and kisses me softly. 

“I think I'm the happiest man alive.”

“Can this get any cheesier?” I laugh and he shakes his head. 

“I don't think so. We're officially the cheesiest couple on earth.” He bursts out laughing and it still startles me how much I love the sound of it. 

A thought flashes out in my mind. It's rash and impulsive but I don't care. 

“Come with me to Bergen.” I blurt out and he suddenly stops laughing and looks at me like I've grown another head. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Very.” The shock on his face is priceless. 

“I have a job. I can't simply leave.”

“Why not? I'll stay another day to help you pack all your stuff then we'll leave. We can share my apartment there and you'll find another job.” It all makes simple sense to me really. I always liked to take risks and I don't like to do anything halfway so why not jump with both feet in. 

His jaw hangs and he swallows visibly. 

“I didn't expect this. Sorry, is it okay if I don't give you an answer right now?”

I frown deeply. I was never too good with emotions but this takes simple math. 

“It's not that I don't want to live with you, it's just a big step that I need to think about well, okay?” He talks slowly as if I am a child but I decide to just nod. 

I, in fact, don't completely understand the reason but I guess some things are much simpler to me than they're to other people.

I recline from the edge of the bed where we're sitting towards the headboard and lay down fully, staring at the ceiling above. 

~~Gylve's P.O.V:~~

I listen to Varg's breath evening out and I realize he'd fallen asleep. We didn't get much rest yesterday anyway so I decide to let leave him be. 

I get up slowly to cover him and lay a kiss on his brow. He looks very peaceful in his sleep and I smile to myself trying to imagine what it would be like to wake up to this view every day. 

I leave the room to find the guys having lunch. Øystein and Per look intimate and I spear a thought at the fact that if I do agree to leave with Varg then the issue with Øystein will be postponed yet again. 

I need to make decisions fast but I'm quite lost. 

I find Ted outside and I join him. I believe he's the right person to share my thoughts with. 

“What's up?” He asks right away after one look at me. 

“Varg offered me to move with him to Bergen and it's terrifying.” I finally admit it out loud and he looks shocked. 

“That's weird?” His voice rises up a notch and I snort at his twisted expression. 

“Tell me about it! He totally caught me off guard.”

“He seems to be doing that alot lately.”

“Well, it is Varg afterall.” I say as a matter of fact and he hums. 

“Did you refuse?”

“No, but I didn't agree either. Told him I needed to think about it.”

“It's a big step, my friend. Honestly, I don't think it's the brightest idea but it's your decision.” He shrugs. 

“Why is it such a bad idea?”

“Let's face it, he's young, impulsive and manipulative. Today he wants you but are you sure that tomorrow he still will? This is Varg we're talking about. Don't let your feelings blind you.” He says and I should be pissed because he's talking that way but I sustain myself. 

“Ted, believe me when I say that through this weekend I saw another side to him. The side he probably likes to keep hidden but to answer you truthfully, no. I don't know if he'll want me tomorrow but this is what we live for, the unknown and if I don't take a chance today, I might regret it tomorrow.”

“That's... well said.” He nods and slaps me on the back, “Do whatever the hell makes you happy. We live today and die tomorrow.”

“Exactly my point.” I grin and he shakes his head. 

“I'm afraid the great Fenriz is love-struck by the mighty Count.”

“Fuck off.” I laugh and push him playfully. 

“Always fun teasing you.” He pokes me and I glare at him. 

“Damn you.” 

“I love you too, shit head.” He laughs, “Now, where's the beer?”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Pers P.O.V:~~

"Øystein you're scaring me" I tell him as I feel him nuzzle into my back.

"Mmmmm? Why?" His voice is hoarse and raspy from sleep. The sun is setting outside and somewhere between the moment I decided I needed a nap and now Øystein crawled in beside me.

I feel his boner against my ass.

"I think you might be losing your mind" I say softly, turning towards him.

"Good, we agree on something for once" he snorts in that typical Øystein way, I feel my heart melt without meaning for it to.

I brush the hair out of his face.

Øystein's fingers wrap around my wrist and hold my palm to his cheek.

"You're right, I have no idea how I truly feel about you; I'm not like Varg who can just suddenly fall in love with someone they've barely noticed" he takes deep breath 

"It's not that I've never noticed you though, I've always noticed you, we used to be friends, remember?"

"Of course I remember" but this was around when we first met... seven goddamn years ago.

"I don't remember what changed though" I admit, one day we were good friends the next he hated my guts.

"You pissed me off, everyone thought you were so great and so talented..all these chicks thought you were handsome and it pissed me right off"

I couldn't imagine something like that. Back then all I thought about was dying.

Øystein continues on:

"I thought that too, 'Wow Perra's so talented and cool! He's so good looking' All of that just turned into fucking hate"

I think I might be missing the point..

"So...jealousy?" I ask 

"No you idiot! I wanted to kiss you! If I really hated you so much I would've left you alone!" Øystein hissed 

"Oh...what made you get to that conclusion?" 

"In case you haven't noticed my image is shot now; it doesn't matter if I'm a fag or not because everyone thinks I am regardless"

I frown: "we could just tell them we broke up"

"And why would I do that?"

So Øystein thinks he's gay now... Christ! my head hurts so bad from this!

"You and Varg are so alike" I mumble, turning away from him.

"Don't be like that.." he murmurs, crawling over my "at least I'm not proclaiming my undying love for you" 

..I think that'd be nice but I keep it to myself..

"Pelleee" Øystein whispers kissing my temple. I think when this is all over we should probably take Øystein to see a therapist.

"Peeeellleee" I'm not deaf! I'm ignoring you you idiot!

I twitch as I feel him bite the shell of my ear.

"I'm not above playing dirty" he teases, making sure his breath blows against my ear.

"Oh I know, trust me" I shiver 

"I know you want me Pelle~"

"That's because I literally told you that I did! You sound like you're in a fucking porno! Stop it!" I whine, turning on my back.

I guess this is exactly the reaction Øystein wanted from me; he has this big grin on his face:

"Tell me you like me?" He asks sweetly.

Puffing my lips, I shrug: "I like you"

"I like you too"

I roll my eyes and try to sit up, only to be pushed back down by him. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere" I mumble 

"No, you're staying riiiight here" he leans into me and presses his lips to mine.

Ah Jesus..I can't think of anything scarier than Øystein when he's this determined..

~~Øystein' P.O.V:~~

I've officially lost my marbles, but I don't care. Right now I'm riding the wave of certainty while I still can.

"Øystein, you're an idiot" Pelle hisses at me, his face burried in my neck.

"Yeah..okay" I breathe and he bites my neck harder.

He runs his thumb over the button of my jeans when a knock forces us apart.

"Ignore it" I snap

"I heard that! Open up!" 

It's Jon. That piece of shit!

Per gets off of me and I open the door. I don't even bother trying to hide what was going on between us.

"What do you want?" I hiss at Jon. 

He has a knowing look on his face that I'd like to slap off.

"You used Pelle to try to piss off Varg but now you really like him, correct?"

"You know me so well" I deadpan 

"I've wasted ten years of my life on your bullshit" he puts a band on his heart and bows his head.

"Okay, so, what do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"All of us are going to a bar to celebrate the last day of having to see each other's ugly mugs"

"And?" I snort

"And here I thought Varg hated us! It took me five minutes of begging to convince him that this was a good idea" Jon laughs, pushing curls out of his forehead.

"So you're not coming?"

I really don't want to; like everyone else I've had it up to here with dealing with each other but I feel an obligation.

"Pelle!" I call over my shoulder

"Huh?"

"Want to go to a bar?"

I silently pray he says no, it'd be really unlike him to say yes.

"Yeah..sure" of course.....

I turn back to him with a sigh: "looks like we're going then..."

"Looks like it, be ready in ten minutes; oh and Øystein?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to use a condom" Jon winks before walking away. 

I feel my face start burning as I slam the door shut.

"Traitor!" I hiss at Per, who's lying on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

"Oops~" he sings with a smirk.

And here I thought he didn't have a sense of humor...


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg's P.O.V:~~

After I wake up from my unplanned nap, Jon comes up to me and begs me for five minutes to go to a bar and celebrate the end of this fucked up weekend. 

I was never too fond of alcohol but the idea appeals to me because we all need it and not to mention, it would put my mind off a little bit until Gylve decides if he wants to go with me or not. So, I agree. 

“How was your nap?” Gylve asks as we wait for everyone to get ready. 

“Guess it was needed or else I wouldn't have fallen asleep.” 

“That's why I didn't wake you.” He smiles and takes my hand into his, “I'm never one to refuse alcohol but do you really think that the bar is a good idea?”

“I frankly don't know but whatever, it only marks the end of this long ass weekend.” I shrug and he nods. 

“We definitely won't all fit in my car though.”

“Let's not take someone annoying with us.” I whine and glance towards Øystein and Per who look, well, fucked. I don't know how it makes me feel but Gylve squeezes my hand and my attention is back on him. 

“Don't worry about it.” He winks and I smile. 

Tomas comes up to us looking somewhat hesitant. 

“Umm who's going with you?” He asks Gylve. 

“So far, Varg and Ted.” 

“Guess we're tagging along.” Tomas gestures towards Bård and Vegard who seem oblivious to the world around them. 

“Sure.” Gylve says and Tomas gives me a look before going over to the couple. 

Gylve tags on my hand and we walk outside to the car. 

“I can like offer my lap to someone.” I tease and he stops in his tracks. 

“That's not funny.” He retorts and I snort. 

“Just messing with you.” He glares at me and unlocks the car. 

“Shut up and get in.”

I laugh and climb into the passenger seat. Two minutes later, the others joined us. Bård, of course, ended up on Vegard's lap. I give Gylve an amused look and he glares at me again. 

“Alright, let's get going.” Ted quips and Gylve starts the car. 

I turn on the music and recognize my own song immediately. The guys in the back snicker and I swear that Gylve is blushing beet red. I suppress my chuckle and exchange the tape for Bathory instead. 

Vegard and Bård are murmuring to themselves through the ride, otherwise it's uneventful. 

We get there before the others and take over the corner. There's only few people around and with us hanging in here they might leave. 

Gylve pushes me to sit next to the wall and settles beside me. 

“Next to the wall, really?” I crook an eyebrow at him. 

“You're famous for making trouble, gotta make sure you stay tame somehow.” He places his hand over my knee under the table so no one can see. 

“Is that so?” 

“A man must do what a man must do.”

“Aha! Isn't that something?” I say unimpressed and he grins. 

“Like it or not, you're staying right where I want you to.” He whispers next to my ear and squeezes my thigh. 

I'm not even sure what the hell I'm supposed to feel but a hot wave surges through me all of the sudden and I swallow my protests grimly. The bastard smirks at me knowingly and I glare at him. 

~~Gylve's P.O.V:~~

I'm probably enjoying this more than I should and I can't help but smirk at how Varg is reduced to silence. 

Someone clears their throat and I realize that I'm leaning too close to Varg. 

“Do you want to drink or do you want to wait for the others?” Tomas asks. 

“I think we should wait. They'll probably be here any minute.” Bård suggests. 

“Man, I've been waiting on my beer for like two hours. I'm not waiting anymore.” Ted whines. 

“We should just order.” Varg says. 

“Hell yeah!” Ted yells and stands up, “I'm getting a round of beer for everyone.” He walks away and I shake my head. 

“What if I don't want beer?” Bård pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Dude, it's Ted. Nothing would stop him.” I laugh and he huffs. 

Vegard wraps an arm around his shoulders and tells him something which, seems to get him to smile again. 

Tomas gives them a look then gives us a look and he sighs. 

“I'm helping Ted.” He stands up and goes after him. 

“What's up with him, scared by the power of the couples?” Varg laughs and I shrug.

The others get here the moment Ted and Tomas are setting the bottles on the table. 

“Started without us, bastards.” Jon yells and we point at Ted who rolls his eyes. 

“I wasn't going to wait up on your ass to get my beer. Now, shut up and drink.” 

Laughter breaks out as Jon raises his hands in defeat and for the first time in a while, everyone looks happy.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Bård’s P.O.V:~~

I'm all grins, lollipops and other sissy shit as Vegard traces my collarbones with a lazy smile.

We weren't really supposed to go but I'd feel like shit if I was the reason Tomas had a garbage-y night.

"You're amazing" he looks up at me with that flowery look in his eyes only he pulls off without looking like a total dork-face.

"You're amazing-er!" I respond. My cheeks and nose hurt from smiling so much.

"No, you are" Vegard lives for that sickly puppy-dog stuff. He kisses the cast over my nose as I giggle out:

"No, you are"

"I'm about to vomit" Varg deadpans and we shoot him a glare. Wasn't he the one who publically announced his relationship? Hypocrite!

Gylve pinches his cheek, mumbling something about choosing the right battles but I don't give a shit, I turn my attention back to a Vegard.

"You're amazing-est" I say in a purposely gooey tone, I hear another snide remark about my grammatical butchering and I smirk, nuzzling into Vegard even more who seems awfully proud of me.

Tomas and Ted have paired off, seemingly because they're the only two of us all that aren't a couple or best friends but somehow in the clusterfuck and beer pong they've sort of become a strange entity named Tedmas.

"Tomas your fly is undone" I tell him and he turns towards me with this weird, open mouthed smile. His arm is still around Teds shoulder:

"There is no Tomas, only Tedmas"

"Ooookay then..." I mumble to myself.

Vegard is still looking at me with that amazed look on his face, I reach down and give him a small peck, nuzzling against his shoulder as my eyes spot this weird guy looking at Vegard.. I scowl. I'm possessive over what's mine and Vegard is mine! Shaking my head I look away. It's probably nothing...

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

I'm already thinking of how to get outta here.

"Regret your choice?" I ask Per dryly as he narrows his eyes at me:

"Yes"

"Should've just stayed at home.." I mumble, taking a sip of Diet Coke. He rolls his eyes at me:

"I don't know what you'd do to me if we were alone"

"Oh trust me, We don't need to be home alone for that" I smirk, getting way ahead of myself.

He sighs: "you're insane"

"Oh, I know" I snort, leaning against him.

Looking behind me everyone's off doing something, Gylve and Varg are off literally slow dancing to "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night", Jon is taking pictures for black mail, Jørn and Jan are taking shots and for some odd reason Ted and Tomas are drunkenly shrieking something about being a collective.

I look back at Gylve and Varg who look like a Disney movie, and spot Bård, who for whatever reason is aggressively head banging to Corey Hart. Vegard is standing there, smoking. His smile still makes him look like a serial killer for some reason. I feel sorry for him.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen Varg this happy" I snort, watching him fuck up and laugh.

"Isn't it disgusting?" Per says, crossing his arms.

"Hey guys!" Bård says, eagerly dancing towards us.

"Hey Bård" Per smiles, his entire demeanor doing a one-eighty as Bård dances in place.

"You guys not gonna dance?" 

"I'm not drunk enough to dance to this bullshit" Per scoffs, pushing his hair off of his shoulder.

"Oh come on, don't you wanna beat Varg and Gylve in the couples olympics" I nudge him, eager for revenge as he rolls his eyes.

"Screw off Øystein"

"He's right, you can't let Varg have the last laugh!" Bård chuckles, clearly he's a little tipsy himself.

"Exactly!" I shoot up, doing a little jig as Per gives me a hard look.

"Fine, whatever" he rolls his eyes and I look back to Bård, who's looking off into the distance with a pissed off look.

"You alright there?" I ask, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Nah, 's nothing..." he mutters before rearranging his face into a smile that I'm pretty sure is fake as shit:

"Lets dance! We don't get to live forever"


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

I watch as Bård goes dancing off to Per and Øystein. I've never liked clubs too much but I'm glad Bård seems to be enjoying himself. I sway my head side to side to the music, taking little sips of my drink before I feel a tap on my shoulder:

"Huh?" I ask. Behind me is a guy, probably in his mid-30s. Pretty standard Norwegian looking bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. He's not really the most recognizable man. It makes me feel a little bit funny.

"Excuse me" he shouts over the loud music "do you know where the nearest bus stop is?"

"Yeah!" I shout back "two blocks over, make a left turn, pass the gas station and a block later you've got the bus stop"

"I can't hear you!" 

I repeat myself to no avail. He shakes his head irately and says: "follow me!" 

He gestures me to folllow him. 

I finally realize my mistake when I'm standing at the very back of the club, between a long, curved alleyway and a brick wall.

Shit.

I feel myself get shoved up against the wall and all of a sudden there's a mouth on mine.

~~Bård's P.O.V:~~

"Vegard?" I shout, standing outside of the bar. I sigh, he really shouldn't be too hard to miss. For one he's my boyfriend, second he's Vegard. And he looks like Vegard.

I frown, theres a lot of people outside but none of them are him.

I walk down the road before looking out into the alleyway. 

Maybe he wanted a smoke? He doesn't like these kinda places but It's where I would go.

I curve in, trying to ignore the thick smell of garbage:

"Vegard?" I call out again, my frown deepening as I get no response back.

Don't get pussy like this Bård. Man up. Maybe he's in the bathroom. He doesn't have to tell you everywhere he's going, you wuss...

"Vegard?" I say again, feeling like a fucking retard the deeper I get into the alleyway.

He's probably just in the bathroom.

It's cold outside, I can feel my nose freeze up and it reminds me that it's still fucking broken.

I shove my hands in my pockets and shake my head, just when I'm about to walk off and check the washrooms again I hear moans and shouts coming from the turn. 

I roll my eyes, stopping dead with a snort. And here I thought I was classless.

"Get off! Stop it! Shit! Help! Help!!"

Wait...what the fuck? Reaching deeper into my pocket I grab my knife out and flip it open. I hide it in the sleeve of my leather jacket.

I start walking even quieter, making sure my footsteps are little taps against the ground. 

My heart beats in my throat.

Is that? Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

I think I see Vegard before he sees me even, he's too busy fighting off the stupid fuck pinning him to the wall.

It always shocks me how surreal these things get; I can feel the blood in my ears, my skin is on fire.

It's so exciting it's almost sexual in some deranged way. I can see my breathing, white clouds in my peripheral...

Vegard sees me by the time I'm in back of this nobody. 

The nobody from earlier. Motherfucker!

His mouth drops open:

"Bård! Holy fuck!- Wait! What the hell are you doing?!"

Nobody tries to turn around but it's too late and I've already got my knife planted square into the back of his neck and my hand clamping his stupid fucking mouth shut.

It makes this ugly schlick sound.

I hear him let out a sharp gasp as I wrench it out before I shove it back in, widening the wound again. Again, and again, and again before he falls down like a rag doll and I have his blood all over my face.

It's sticky like glue.

"What the fuck?!" Vegard shouts, holding me back as I kick out at his head:

"He's dead Bård! Calm down!" His voice is shrill. It rings in my ears.

"Not dead enough!" I shriek, knocking his head into the brick wall again and again until the only thing he is is mush against concrete.

I keep going until my own body gives out.

"Bård!" Vegard snaps pushing me into the door: "he's dead"

"Not dead enough." I snap. I'm panting and Vegard's face is plastered in blood too. He looks kinda horrified...

"Did you hear me? Bård? He's dead! You just killed someone!"

Oh...oh fuck. The smell of it finally hits me full force. I let out a few gasping breaths before pushing Vegard off of me and losing my guts all over the Tarmac floor.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The last few chapters before we wrap this up.  
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

I haven’t felt this alive in so long dancing with Gylve to shit music and just having the time of our lives. 

I stumble and he catches me as we both laugh at how awful I am at dancing or maybe it’s just the good feels and alcohol.

“I’m dying for a smoke outside, what do you say?” He yells in my ear and I nod franticly.

“Yes! Will there be any making out involved?” I ask with a naughty grin and he shakes his head at me.

“I can’t say no to that now can I?” He grabs my hand and leads me outside through the back of the bar for better privacy and we stumble together into the dark alley laughing like fourteen year olds!

“Holy shit, it’s cold.” I exclaim and he hushes me by locking our lips together.

I end up laughing into the kiss and he pulls away to laugh himself. 

A movement to the side catches my attention but I can barely see anything in the pitch darkness. 

Gylve tries to kiss my again but I stop him with a hand to his chest.

“I think we’re not alone.” I whisper and suddenly the sound of someone sobbing painfully was plain.

Gylve looks at me weirdly then we both stare into the direction of the sound. 

“Should we check that out?” He asks and I can never refuse. 

We advance slowly and I finger the knife in my pocket making sure it’s there in case I need to use it. 

We stop dead in our tracks as the scene unfolds in front of us. 

Bård is sobbing hysterically on the ground while Vegard stands like a statue in total shock. There is a pool of blood and someone’s body lying motionless with their head burst open and brains gushing. 

“Oh Gods!” Gylve exclaims turning white as a ghost and retching on the side.

I approach Vegard slowly and put a hand on his shoulder he jumps and grabs my wrist painfully in a fast movement.

“Get off me!” He screams and I’m so shocked at his outburst that I refrain from speaking or moving.

“Oh! It’s just you.” He says so calmly and let goes of my hand turning again to watch the body on the floor.

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

This can’t be real. It must be a nightmare finish emptying my stomach in time to witness Vegard lashing out at Varg and I’m enraged.

“What in hell’s name happened here?” I walk closer to Vegard.

“He’s dead.” Vegard says again in a freakishly calm manner.

“Yeah, I can tell!” I laugh on verge of tears, “How could you do something like that? Why did you do something like that?” 

Vegard stays silent and Bård’s sobs don’t cease. I swear I’m bordering on the edge of sanity right now.

“Answer me!” I yell out of sheer horror and frustration at the situation.

“Don’t draw attention to us.” Varg says as he moves to hold me but I shrug him away, “Gylve, please! We need to think of a way out of this.” He says and I can’t believe how calm he seems but when I finally look at his eyes I can see the same horror and frustration mirrored in them.

I nod and reach with a shaking hand to my pack of cigarettes. Gods know, I need one more than ever right now.

Varg tries to talk to Vegard but the other doesn’t say a thing or moves for that matter and it was obvious that we can’t communicate with Bård either.

“We need to get some help.” Varg says frantically and I nod almost in slow motion, “Think fast, who?” 

I try to answer but my head is so messed I can’t think straight.

“Gylve!” He shakes me, “Help me out here!” He says desperately and that manages to get through the fog in my head.

“Ah, um. Tomas? He’s close with both and might be best to help us out.” I say and he sighs.

“I’ll go get him.”

~~Ted’s P.O.V:~~

“Hail Tedmas!” I yell and highfive Tomas after winning another round of pool against Jørn and Jan.

“We rock man.” Tomas laughs and we clink our beers together taking a big swig out of them.

“Tomas!” Varg appears out of nowhere and grabs Tomas by the arm, “I need your help.”

Tomas yanks his arm out of his grasp and scoffs.

“Fuck off, Vikernes.” 

“This is serious!” He yells looking on the edge of a nervous breakdown and it sobers us both.

“What’s going on?” I ask and he looks at me with wide eyes and a feeling of dread builds up inside me. He looks hesitant to speak.

“Whatever it is, you can talk in front of Ted.” Tomas assures him.

“Follow me.” He says and he leads us to the back of the bar where it’s less noisy.

“Something horrible happened,” His voice is cracking and it’s obvious that he’s shaken, “I went out with Gylve for a smoke and we came across something awful. I don’t even know how to say this.” 

I exchange a confused look with Tomas then something strikes me.

“Where’s Gylve?” I ask in utter fear.

“He’s outside at the crime scene.”

“What did you just say?” I pray to whomever that I heard it wrong and Tomas frowns deeply.

“Vegard or Bård or someone killed a man and we found them both at the scene but Vegard is refusing to speak and Bård is completely broken.” He swallows as his face twitches.

I can feel the blood drain out of me at the same time as Tomas except he grabs Varg harshly by the forearm and yells probably out of fear for his friends. 

“Where?” 

I can hear his laboring breaths and I close my eyes trying to form a calm state of mind if possible because I know that things are gonna go to hell and somebody must stay somewhat calm.

“I’ll take you but you must stay calm or you’ll draw unwanted attention.” Varg says slowly and Tomas releases him.

I grab Tomas’s shoulders from behind to help him relax a little bit.

“We’ll figure it out just relax.” I say and he nods, his breathing getting more balanced.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Two more to go..  
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Tomas's P.O.V:~~

It's not every day you follow your so called new best friend out the back of a club and find one of your bandmates in the midst of a mental break down and your other bandmate in a catatonic state. Why are they crying? Oh, because there's a half-decapitated man lying there with his brain bust open and you're 99% sure he's the killer...unless the guy you've known since you were fucking 13 finally snapped.

"Talk to me Bård, come on." I plead, holding onto his wrists as the rest of the guys panic amongst themselves.

Bård just sits there in fetal position, crying hysterically. His face is caked with blood.

"No... no go away." He sobs "my life is over. It's fucking over."

"Don't be like that man...we'll...we'll find a way out of it..." I lie. I'm not sure how we're supposed to hide this one from the cops.

"No we won't." He shakes his head. His shoulders quake as a I let go of him and look up at Vegard who's in a state of shock.

I open my mouth to speak but it's Vegard who reacts first:

"Bård! Stop it! Fuck!" 

Suddenly he has Bård pinned to the concrete, wrenching the knife out of his hand as blood begins to leak out of his wrists.

"My life is over!" He sobs, trying to push Vegard away "I've really done it now!"

"Stop it." Vegard begs weakly, holding his wrist together as I look at Gylve, Ted and Varg who aren't holding so well themselves.

I know we should probably limit this to as little people involved as we can but right now I don't think he have a choice. It looks like the rest of the guys agree.

"Get Øystein and Per, Gylve, and if you have to, get the rest of Mayhem."

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

"Øystein..." Pelle whines, his voice dissolving into a chuckle as I nuzzle my face into his jawline.

"Yeah?" 

"You're acting like an idiot." He snickers.

"But when am I not?" I ask breathily, multicoloured lights shining over my eyelids as I hold him close to me. Right now we either look like a lesbian couple or the two chicks from ABBA so I'm not worried. I sway him in my arms as this chick sings about how she'll always love this guy and Pelle is doing that little giggle he does that's somehow really cute:

"Who knew you had the capacity to be romantic?"

"Shit, have you heard the garbage they're playing? They may as well be playing Björn Again!"

"Mmm" Pelle hums, his arms wrapped around mine as he entertains my mindless swaying.

"Couples bonding?" I offer cheekily, earning a swat:

"Don't get to ahead of yourself, little man."

"Pfft."

I decide not to jinx it, not to say something along the lines of 'nothing can go wrong!' Instead I just enjoy Pelle's presence and simultaneously try to sort out whether I'm canoodling with him like this because I want to have sex with him or if I'm just really glad he'd not trying to kill him self.

Ah..what the hell?

"What can go wrong?"

"Guys! Guys!" I hear Gylve from behind us, breaking me and Pelle apart as we stare at him oddly.

"We..we need you to...shit, something happened with Bård!" He says, just loud enough for us to hear and both me and Pelle are instantly paying attention to him.

"What do you mean?" Per asks slowly.

"Just...follow me." He says weakly. We do. I look at Per to see if maybe he has an inkling as to what's going on but he gives me the same look I'm giving in.

We step outside and the first thing I notice is the smell. It reminds me of our shows back in '90. Like meat and vomit... the second thing I notice is that there's a corpse lying right at my feet...


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This is my last chapter of this story. I wanna say thanks to all the support, I thought no one would read it so thank you all who've taken the time to read and comment.   
> -If you liked the Varg/Gylve pairing, I have two one-shots already posted on my account, check them out!  
> -This chapter was written by me.

~~Varg’s P.O.V:~~

Neither Øystein nor Per look any less shaken from the rest of us as they figure out what’s going on. Questions and swears pour out from everyone’s mouths as we try to cope with the situation but it gets too much and I snap.

“Shut the fuck up and let me think!” 

They all turn to look at me but I don’t care right now I need to gather my plotting thoughts to win this game and I pace in deep concentration.

“I think we need to get Bård and Vegard out of here first.” Per says and the others agree.

“We shouldn’t leave them alone though.” Gylve throws in.

“I’ll go with them to the cabin if I must but are you guys sure you won’t need my help?” Tomas volunteers.

“We’ll manage.” Ted says.

“Try not be seen or attract attention.” I remind Tomas and he nods as he gathers Bård from one side and Vegard from the other.

“Here.” Per offers them paper tissues to at least wipe the blood from their faces.

“Now what?” Gylve turns to face me expectantly as the trio leaves.

“Blow us away with your ‘plan’.” Øystein crosses his arms over his chest also facing me and I glare at him.

“There are two things we need to do fast. Move the body and clean this mess before dawn breaks. I also think that we should tell the rest because we need all the hands that we can get.”

“But if we’re all out here we’d definitely draw too much attention.” Ted reasons and I frown in thought.

“That’s why we need to head back in, pay the bill and leave out the front door like normal people.” Øystein suggests and it’s a good idea.

“Yes, then we can grab the rest, rotate around the building and show them the mess then I’ll get to the rest of the details.” I say and head to go back inside.

“Wait!” Gylve pleads and I turn.

“Shouldn’t someone stay out here?” 

“I will.” Ted raises a hand and I nod at him.

We head back inside, pay the bill and grab the rest, telling them that the party is over and that we need to leave.

“Dude, what’s with the hurry?” Jon complains once we’re outside.

“Yeah, and where did all of you disappear off to?” Jan adds.

“I think you two should tell them.” Gylve says to Øystein and Per.

I walk a little away from them to gather my thoughts well. There is no time for confusion and fear anymore. I watch them as they all head to the alleyway and wait for the shock to settle in before I follow them to explain my plan.

“Now that everybody knows, we have to work together.” I say.

“This is so fucked up, dude.” Jon grimaces.

“So, what’s the plan?” Ted asks.

“Gylve and Jon, you need to get the car. We’re gonna be loading the corpse into the trunk.”

“Are you serious?” Gylve hisses.

“How do you suggest we move it then?” Per asks and that settles Gylve.

“Fucking hell. I’m on it.” Gylve sighs and drags Jon with him.

“Jan,” I face him and he seems quite calm about the whole thing, “You’ll be coming with me to the nearest store to get some stuff for cleaning.”

“Sure.” He agrees.

“As for the rest, make sure to guard both sides of the alleyway and the door to the bar so no one comes near the scene from anywhere.” 

“What if someone tries to get through?” Jørn asks.

“We’ll be menacing and scare them away.” Øystein offers and the others nod.

“We need to move quickly.” I say to Jan and we walk down the street, searching for any store still open.

“This is not how I pictured this night or this weekend to end.” Jan says as we walk further down the road.

“Tell me about it but this might be the only situation where we all agree and work together.” I say and he nods.

“Ah, finally!”

We head inside the store and buy a bunch of trash bags, plastic gloves, bottles of water and a stain cleaner. In my mind, buying all these things together could only point to hiding a body but really, the clerk must think we only need these things for an annual house cleanup or something.

By the time we get back, Gylve had parked his car in front of the ally.

“Finally, you’re back!” I hear Jørn sigh in relief maybe.

“Here,” I hand Gylve a couple of the plastic bags, “Lay them in the trunk so we don’t get stains.” 

He takes them and nods off to do so.

“Jan and Ted, you guys are gonna help me carry the body. Øystein and Per could you be on the lookout for anyone while we do so?” I don’t even look at them as I hand each guy a pair of gloves.

I move to give Gylve his and he stops me by the shoulder.

“Are you sure about this?” 

“What choice do we have right now? This is the best I can come up with in such short notice.” I explain and he sighs putting on his gloves.

“Car’s set.” He says and I turn back to the alley.

“Let’s do this.” I look at Jan and he gives me an assuring look.

Ted and Jan howl the body to a sitting position and I wrap a bag around the head and tie it to stop anything from leaking and just as we’re about to exist from the dark, Øystein’s voice is heard.

“Stop! I mean it. I’m sick and tired of your shit.” 

He’s probably acting with Per and giving us a coded sign to stop so we do for what seems like ages as they go on ‘arguing’ then Per’s head appear from the side.

“Coast’s clear.” 

We move again and dump the guy in the trunk and close it with a sigh but I usher everyone to go back to the alley.

“Now, we’re eight and we’re gonna split into two teams. Team corpse business and team clean business. I’m with the first and you guys choose.” I say.

Gylve hands me the keys to the car.

“I’ll stick by with the cleaning crowd. Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” He hugs me tightly.

“I think you’re most fit to drive.” I pass the keys to Jan and we climb into the car along with Øystein and Per.

Ted, Gylve, Jørn and Jon took on the cleaning errand.

“Where are we heading?” Jan asks as he starts the car.

“To the cabin. We’ll dispose the body in the woods.” I say fidgeting with the gloves on my hands. I hope we’re gonna get away with this or we’re all gonna end up in jail.

The ride is mostly silent. Each of us is lost in his own world for a little while. 

We reach the cabin and Jan drives deeper into the woods. We exit the car and move the body out to dump it on the ground. We form a little circle around it.

“Are we gonna bury it?” Per asks.

“No, we’re gonna chop it first.” I say and three heads snap up to look at me.

“Now I’m sure you’re completely nuts, Vikernes.” Øystein comments.

“It’d be hell to find if we chop it and bury each piece in a different place.” 

“It’s logical but I’m not chopping.” Jan raises both hands.

“Hand me an axe.” I say but nobody moves, “Hand me a goddamn axe!” I yell.

“Fucking hell!” Øystein swears and walks off to the cabin.

“In the meantime, I think we should start a fire to burn anything that’s stained. Can you be in charge of that?” I look at the other two and they nod.

Øystein comes back with two axes and I look at him oddly. 

“You really thought I’ll let you do this by yourself? For fuck’s sake that’d take an eternity.” 

I’m dumbstruck for a moment but grateful nevertheless. I grab one of the axes and we circle around the body for a few seconds as the other two scurry off to gather wood for the fire.

“Who’s it gonna be, Vikernes?” Øystein says and I look at him briefly before delivering the first cut. 

It makes an awful noise as it breaks through bones and I cringe as blood and gore splatters on me but he follows suit with the next strike and so on until I can’t take it anymore and I clutch my stomach as I vomit onto the side of a tree.

“Are you alright?” Øystein asks standing right behind me and it’s so strange to hear that from him but I guess the day is taking it’s toll on all of us and our unity is what’s gonna make this a success.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I wipe at my mouth and clutch my axe again.

Once we’re done. We load different chunks into various bags and fill them with dirt and other types of garbage before tying them up. We could both see the fire starting.

“I’m fucking tired.” I say and Øystein sighs.

“Let’s get the others to bury this. I’m beat as well.”

I agree and we reach the cabin in time to see that the cleaning party had also arrived. 

“Someone must bury the shit outside we’re done.” Øystein says and Jan springs up along with Tomas who the others must have filled him in on the details.

“Remember, in different parts.” I say and they nod.

“Gods! You look gruesome.” Gylve exclaims as he stands in front of me.

“Well. That’s how you get when you chop someone!” 

“You need a shower.” 

“We all do. Once I catch my breath.” I say and we head outside to sit by the fire.

Some of the guys already started to throw things into it as I’m sure each one headed for a thorough self-cleaning and others joined us by the fire to rest.

Gylve hands me a cigarette and I take it. Inhaling the smoke deep into my lungs. 

“How was the cleaning?” 

“We tried our best and hopefully we got all of it. It was kinda hard in total darkness but we managed.” Gylve sighs then takes a drag out of his cigarette. 

I flick mine into the fire and lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes in sheer exhaustion. 

 

~~Gylve’s P.O.V:~~

Varg’s breath evens out beside me and I smile gently, wrapping an arm around him so he wouldn’t fall. 

What a day from hell. I hope it was all worth it in the end.

I glance at the tired faces all around and sigh then Tomas and Jan appear to inform us that the job is done and we can all breath in relief.

I don’t know for how long we stay sitting there but I must’ve taken a nap while sitting because suddenly a hand lays over my shoulder and I jump up waking Varg with me.

“You should go clean up now.” It’s Ted and I nod then notice that dawn is emerging and the world is lightening up.

“Come on.” I say to Varg and stand up to stretch then take his hand and head to the bathroom.

We strip our clothes and I hand the stained ones to Ted to throw them in the fire and close the door.

I step behind Varg under the warm spray and it feels heavenly to get rid of all the dirt and grim of the day. He turns to face me and hugs me tight and I wrap my own arms around him.

He suddenly breaks down sobbing and I feel my own tears welling as we slide down to the floor. It has been a rough day and we haven’t addressed our emotions properly.

“I’m proud of you,” I say through my tears as I glide my fingers over his head, “We wouldn’t have made it out of this mess if it weren’t for you.” 

He raises his head and sniffles.

“Bård and Vegard better owe me their asses after this.” He says and we laugh brokenly.

I hold his face with both hands and stare at him deeply.

“Yes.”

“What?” He asks me confused.

“You asked me if I wanted to move to Bergen with you and my answer is yes.”

His face is frozen for a moment then it lights up in a wide smile as he surges forward to kiss me.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He says as he hugs me close again and I can’t help but smile.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..and it's a wrap! Thanks again for reading.  
> -This chapter was written by Satania.

~~Tomas's P.O.V:~~

Trying to act natural is harder than it looks. They got Bård and Vegard some spare hoodies but I swear to god that their faces tell the whole story. It feels almost surreal. To get back to the cabin we have to take the goddamn bus. We have to take the goddamn bus after an entire murder conspiracy.

In the bus Vegard looks like he's been neutered and Bård is leaning against the window with his eyes all bloodshot. Neither of them are talking to each other and I feel like crap.

"Lets go to McDonald's." I say suddenly as we pass familiar Golden archs. They both wordlessly look at me like I'm crazy but I'm already out of my seat.

"Come on! I'm hungry!" I know I'm the only person who can say that after seeing a corpse, but someone needs to be cheerful for the sake of the team.

They both continue to look at me like I'm nuts and I feel like reminding them both of just what they've done but we're in a bus and they decided to follow me anyway...

~~Vegard's P.O.V:~~

My stomach hurts from the greasy fast food and I've already made up my mind.

No ones home yet, it's just us and Tomas who's watching TV. I'm pretty spooked about it but I can't afford to be anymore nervous than I already am. Bård took Jan's bedroom and originally I took Jørn's, but now I'm slowly opening the door to Jan's bedroom, taking in a peak.

"You awake?" I call out softly.

"Yeah." He whispers raspily as I take cautious steps towards the bed.

"I...I don't really wanna talk about us right now." Bård adds and I slip underneath the covers.

"Us is not a point of discussion." I snort. I lie next to him, he's a crumpled heap on the bed and I just feel bad now.

"I don't hate you."

"I hate me," Bård says, and I think that's worse... I wrap my arms around him, feeling Bård flinch as I nuzzle my nose into his shoulder. "I've ruined everything."

And he starts crying again, soft little sobs that make his shoulders quiver.

"Bård..if it helps you feel better I would've done it too." I admit. I'm sure of it. I would've dome all that and more.

"It doesn't." 

I frown deeply, trying to turn him towards me but he won't budge.

"I want to go to Germany." I finally tell him. I want to flee to Germany, really.

"Hide out there, watch the news. If the cost is clear we go back..if not then..." I shrug, explaining it all to him. It all sounds pretty romantic. I know. But what else am I supposed to do?

"Bård?" I ask when he doesn't answer.

"Okay.." Bård nods, curling up deeper into a ball as I hug him even tighter. "I'll do it."

I want to ask him about his wrists, or how he feels..but I know the answer to both of those. Instead I just wallow in the darkness with him in utter silence...

~~Øystein's P.O.V:~~

The water surrounding my body starts to run clear.

"You've seen plenty of snuff films.... I didn't expect you to react like this.." Pelle says softly from behind the rubber duck printed shower curtain as I try to hide the sounds of my teeth chattering.

"Sorry to disappoint.." I say weakly, hugging my knees closer as I hear the curtains get pushed.

"For the record if it were me I woulda just burned the body....or put it in the dumpster or something but..I guess Varg's method is the most throughout." Pelle admits with a sad smile as I shake my head and lay my forehead against my knee caps.

"Please go away..." I plead "you were right, this was a bad idea and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and ended up playing with y-your feelings again..." I force through the end of my sentence, expecting a string of Swedish expletives and a slamming door but Pelle just stands there and sighs deeply. He strips down to his boxers.

"Told you so." He says absentmindedly and climbs into the bathtub with me. I try to crawl away from him, screwing my eyes shut. I can't help the sob that comes out of me.

"Go." 

He ignores me and gets one of the sponges. He wipes away at some of the gore on my face and neck before pushing my hair out of the way.

"Øystein, it's okay to cry if you need to."

"I'm already crying you retard!" My voice goes fucking pathetic. I sound like a total pussy as he washes some of the flesh off of me.

"It's not the same when you see it in person a-and when you're d-doing it..." my voice trails off as I try to bleach the scene out of my mind.

"I know. I don't know how you did it. I couldn't." Pelle nods, he looks so sad and I feel so bad. I can't help but think that if I had just listened to him none of us would be in this mess...

The sound that comes out of my throat sounds like a dying animal and I felt like a total fucking pussy.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

"Nothing I say will make this okay." Pelle admits, and somehow that's more cathartic than someone trying to convince me that it'll all be 'happily ever after' in the end. 

"Nope." I agree miserably, mashing my face against his chest as I cry. The warm water hits my back and makes me shudder.

"And to be honest I have no idea where we all go from here," Pelle adds, stroking my hair awkwardly "to be honest I uhh...think I'm gonna go back to Sweden."

My heart fucking drops.

"For good?!?" I hiss, trying push him away from me. He's so much taller than me that I'm easily overpowered.

"No! You fucking idiot! For a short vacation..come on, don't tell me this cabin isn't full of darkness and despair. I tried killing my self here years ago, among other things.. and now this? I need a change of scenery.. you can come with..in fact, please do."

He holds me tighter as I slump against him:

"And then what?" I say weakly 

"And then I don't know," Pelle says with a shrug "Øystein will be Øystein, Per will be Per, Mayhem will be Mayhem so on and so forth."

I think about it for a second.

"I'm not like Varg. I'm not gonna beg you to come to Västerhaninge with me on a honeymoon you probably don't even want...but..I'm telling you now Jørn is probably getting tickets to Stjørdal and I saw Jan packing for Oslo." Pelle tells me and I think about it for another second.

"Västerhaninge is nice...it's where I grew up." He convinces me some more before I finally let out a shaky "yes."

I lean up and press my lips to his in a hesitant kiss. Pelle responds whole heartedly as I press on, deepening it before it turns heated.

I realize this person will do anything to cheer me up.

His hands are on my body as he takes off his underwear and I'm left feeling all that slick skin. If someone told me this would happen seven years ago I would've kicked them where it hurts and told them to quit being a faggot. But Im here now, feeling Pelle up as he whines in my mouth. Our wet bodies press harder and I realize that I'm really just not in the mood.

"Sorry..I...- just can't.." I say, pulling away from him.

"Makes sense considering you just hacked up a corpse." Shrugs Pelle, his arms still around mine as I press my forehead into his collarbones.

"I love you, Pelle."

"You're contradicting yourself." he gently urges and I shake my head 

"Just say it back."

"I love you too Øystein." Pelle complies and I feel just a little bit more at peace. I lie against him and listen to the combination of gurgling pipes, running water, heart beat and breath....

"Oh and Pelle?"

"Yeah?"

"You told me so." I say, with the last remaining bit of wit inside of me.

**Author's Note:**

> -I haven't posted here in so long and I don't know if anyone will be interested, but it is time for this to see the light of day or rather, the dark of night.  
> -The events of this story are way too fictional.  
> -Please leave us your thoughts.


End file.
